


i'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine

by notsoblake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sex Toys, Sexting, Underage Drinking, camboy, small apparition of baseball boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-05-18 08:05:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19330489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsoblake/pseuds/notsoblake
Summary: When Suga tells Daichi he's going to study in Tokyo, he can't help but be a little disappointed.It's now a year later, and never in his life did Daichi think he'd go on those kind of website and yet, here he was, hands in his pants and getting off to someone he didn't even know (or so he thought).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank my friend ken for proof reading this..... thank you <3

 “I’m going to study in Tokyo.” Suga had said a little bit over a year ago now. They were having lunch on the rooftop and he remembers Asahi spitting out his food at the announcement.

It came as a shock to both Asahi and himself. Sure, they had never talked about higher education seriously together, but Daichi had hoped that the three of them would stay in Sendai. 

Daichi knew what he wanted to do already. He had looked up business degrees and the one closer to him was the one at Tohoku University in Sendai. It was also apparently one of the best in Japan.

“What are you going to study there?” Daichi had asked.

“They have an environmental sciences program there.” They kept eating their food, mostly in awkward silence and never really talked about it again.

It was now May of the following year, they started university a month ago. Daichi still saw Asahi every day and they tried to FaceTime with Suga as much as they could but with their hectic classes schedule, they could do it only once a week at best, or once every two weeks.

His best friend had said he would come back to their hometown for Golden Week but, in the end, didn’t because he was low on money, so they settled on FaceTime calls everyday.

When the call connected, he was met with a very exhausted-looking Suga, who looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks. “Hey Suga.”

“Hi!” He didn’t want to admit it but he had missed this cheerful voice of his. “How’s my best friend doing?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m uh tired, I’m glad we’re on break right now, uni is killing me.” He sighed.

He had never seen Suga like that, but he guessed that was what higher education was like.

“You and me both.” Daichi chuckled. “Did you find a job?”

“If I did I would be in Sendai with you right now.” He said with a small smile. Daichi could tell he was upset that he couldn’t go back home. He knew they would probably meet again for summer break so he guessed he could wait two more months.

“I’m sorry this is so awkward.” Suga said after a few seconds of silence.

“I’m still not used to…talking like this.”

They both struggled to find conversations, which was something that rarely happened between the two of them. They always found something to talk about. “We can text if that’s better for you, I don’t mind.”

“I’m really sorry, Daichi.”

“You really don’t have to apologize.”

“No it’s just,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “it’s my fault for wanting to go to Tokyo on my own and I know you felt bitter when I told you guys I wanted to go there and-“ He sniffled loudly and Daichi noticed the tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

“Now I feel miserable and I don’t know if I can continue this.”

“Suga-“

“Fuck, I’m really sorry I just feel really unsure about this I don’t know if what I’m doing is the right thing.” He sputtered

“Listen to me.” Daichi said in that stern voice of his and Suga looked up to meet his gaze.

“You can do this. I know you can. You’ve been wanting to do this specific major because you wanted to be a marine biologist since you were what? Like four.”

Suga opened his mouth but was immediately cut off by Daichi. “The first few months of uni are difficult Suga, I literally considered dropping out after the first week of going there.” He joked.

“But out of the three of us, you’re the only one who’s capable of doing what you’re doing right now. You’re independent and you’re a good student.”

“Thank you.” He sniffled one more time and wiped his tears with the sleeve of his t-shirt. “I’m sorry for-“

“I swear to god if you apologize one more time, I’ll come to Tokyo and kick your ass.” He laughed.

They fell into a comfortable silence this time. Daichi had told Suga they could study together over FaceTime. He looked up from his papers every once in a while to look at Suga. He was lying on his living room floor, head resting on his hand as he read a book about climate change.

It was seven when Daichi’s mom called him to have dinner. “Should I call you when I’m done?”

Suga looked up from his book and sat up correctly. “Ah uhm I’m doing something tonight.”

“Oh? Going out with friends?”

“Uhm yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled.

“I’m going to the cinema with friends.”

Suga looked like he had something on his mind but, Daichi didn’t want to push it and instead told Suga to have fun and they hung up.

Daichi’s parents and brother were flying to Nagano to visit his grandpa later that evening. Daichi had told them he didn’t want to go and that he was going to study instead, but he honestly just needed some time to himself.

He said goodbye to his family and leaned against the doorframe as he watched them leave the driveway, his brother waving his hand enthusiastically through the car window.

He loved being home alone. Being home alone meant he could do whatever he wanted, he could eat dinner at the ass-crack of dawn. He could also shower in the middle of the night. And he could also watch porn and be as loud as he wanted.

He wasn’t the kind of guy who watched porn often. He only did it to calm his nerves, he rarely ever felt particularly horny either. He also didn’t watch porn regularly because he didn’t like the idea of it. He didn’t like big dicks and rough sex, he liked realness and gentle love-making, which is why he always settled on amateur videos.

Throughout the years, Daichi had always thought he liked girls, but the more he watched porn, the more he started paying attention to the men’s body parts instead of the women’s. He never told anyone about it, not even his best friends because he didn’t know what their views on homosexuality were and he didn’t want them to fight over his sexuality.

He knew he could talk about it with Iwaizumi. He had never thought he would be friends with him, but they ended up in the same class this year and actually had many things in common. They bonded pretty easily and eventually Iwaizumi told him that him and Oikawa were dating, Daichi wasn’t even surprised when he announced it.

Oikawa had gone to Tokyo on a volleyball scholarship and was majoring in earth and environmental science, Iwaizumi had told him. He also remembered Suga telling him that they were lab partners. He felt relieved when he learned about it. At least Suga had someone he knew with him.

Suga wasn’t good at making friends. If Daichi hadn’t made the first move back in their first year of high school, they would have probably never talked to each other. He was an introvert but, once people got to know him, he immediately felt more comfortable and could speak more freely. It took them more than a month to really hit it off but, never had he felt more glad to have persevered.

It was only 8 and yet, all Daichi wanted to do was take a shower and sleep. He went to his room, took his phone and connected it to his bluetooth speaker. He put on some random playlist and hopped in the shower. He let his mind wander as he put shampoo in his hands and started massaging his scalp. His hands slowly went down his body unconsciously but he stopped before they could reach his growing erection. He would have to take care of that later.

He didn’t feel particularly horny and yet here he was, looking for some jerking off material before going to bed. He had been looking for a video for the past twenty minutes and he could feel his eyelids growing heavy. An ad for a camboy website caught his eyes and he decided to check it out.

The website was full of ads and spams like ‘try not to cum in five minutes’ or ‘how to grow your penis 5 inches in 2 weeks (no clickbait)’, this one made him snort. He went through some of the profiles of the guys who were currently live-streaming, a lot of them were only for VIP members, which meant you had to pay to enter the room.

He didn’t want to spend another twenty minutes on a porn website just so he could jerk off and, as he was about to click on the exit button, he saw a notification that caught his attention. ‘spikemyballs is live.’ It said. He clicked on the profile and was rather intrigued by what was written.

First of all, the guy was rated 5 out of 5 based on 94 reviews. From what his bio said, he seemed nice and friendly, he apparently loved to discuss and liked ‘sweet and naughty fun’. He was a student just like himself, and they were pretty much into the same stuff. Daichi thought that he could give it a try.

He stood up and turned off all the lights in his room except for the desk lamp and clicked on the play button. All he heard was shuffling about and the camera was pointing at an empty bed and a small box. His breath hitched when he saw the person stand up on his bed in nothing but boxer shorts, cute socks with oranges on them and a large hoodie.

The guy then dropped down on the bed and sat cross-legged. He couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that he couldn’t see his entire face, the only thing he could see was his mouth, but he could understand. He got closer to the edge of the bed, fidgeting hands in his lap and spoke up.

“Hi everyone.” He said. His voice sounded silvery. Clear, light and pleasant. Daichi could add ‘voice fetishisation’ to his list of kinks.

He watched as the chat room got flooded with all kinds of message, some dirtier than others and he resisted the temptation of sending one too. “Ah there are already a lot of people and it’s only my third night! I’m glad you all like my shows.” He said with a warm smile.

He went silent for a few seconds and kept playing with the hem of his sweater. Daichi could tell he only just started doing this, if it were him he would be nervous too. “What’s in the box?” He reads out loud. “Someone bought me one of the things I put on my wishlist! I thought I could find out what it is with you all.”

He took the small package and tapped lightly on it with his index fingers. “How about 200 tokens and I open it?”

There was a countdown right under the video which showed how much tokens had been given so far, and the number kept rising and rising until it finally met the goal a minute or so later. Daichi was glad he wasn’t the only one who wanted to see what was in it.

“Aren’t y’all extremely eager tonight, huh?” He laughed and took a small pair of scissors to open the package. His fingers were long and delicate and he could see that one of his index finger was painted in a deep, red color.

“It’s a vibrating cock ring!” He got closer to the camera and showed the little object. There was little heart on top of the object with what he guessed was a viber.

“I had other plans for tonight, but I guess I could try it on instead. How about that?” He smiled as he removed the plastic package around the cock ring.

Daichi could already feel his cock twitch under his pants. He was wearing sweatpants, but he could still feel them getting tighter and tighter.

“Don’t you all think I’m a little overdressed? I bet all of you have already started to undress, aren’t I right? How about 400 tokens and I’ll remove that hoodie huh?”

This guy was a tease and Daichi could tell he was actually gaining confidence throughoutthe whole thing. The goal was reached again quickly and he could see a smirk growing on the guy’s face.

“Thank you MasterBJ for the 50 tokens!” He said as he slowly brought his hands to the hem of his sweater and, tugged it over his head seductively. What was hiding under the sweater was a flawless, milky white chest covered in small and almost unnoticeable freckles. He didn’t have sculpted abs like most of the guys that he saw on the website but his body still looked pretty.

He ran his hands over his chest before flicking at his right nipple with his index fingers. The sound he let out went straight to his dick.

“You guys like it when I do this huh?” He put his index finger in his mouth and brought it back to his nipple, moaning once again. “Ah this feels good.”

Daichi’s hand was unconsciously palming himself through his sweatpants, _why did he still have those on?_ And quickly lifted up his shirt, just above his nipples, repeating the same thing the other man had just done with his finger. He was startled when he heard himself moan. Sure, he knew nipples were an erogenous zone but he didn’t know it would feel _that_ good.

“I’m sure you all want me to remove these already.” He said as he snapped the waistband of his underwear against his skin.

“I’ll remove them when we reach 600 tokens…” He trailed off. “And then maybe I could play with this little toy right here when we reach 1000? How about that?”

Everybody in the chat was going wild and Daichi thought that maybe, he could buy some tokens. The higher the goal was, the longer it took to reach it and, he (his dick) was growing more and more impatient. He took his wallet out of his backpack and looked at his credit card. He had a job after all, and this was for his own pleasure.

He had to make an account and chose a username to buy tokens, why was his brain so uncreative? The video was still playing in the background and he couldn’t help but caress his thighs, he was way too turned on to think.

He received a text from Asahi (fuck now wasn’t the time) and the text started with ‘Hey Captain.’ He didn’t read the rest, but it felt like a light bulb had just turned on in his head. He entered his email address, username he had just thought about, and password and then bought tokens.

10 tokens cost 100 yen and he decided to buy 100. 1000 yen was what he approximately made in an hour so it’s not like he minded spending money on these kind of things.

The first goal was 50 tokens away from being reached when he came back to the video and Daichi decided he would be the one to give those fifty left.

“600 already? You guys sure are fast! Thank you captainthighs for the 50 tokens! Nice username.” He said with a smile.

Daichi couldn’t help but blush at that. The other man tugged off his underwear very slowly and Daichi followed the trail of blonde hairs underneath his navel with his eyes. There was a small tuft of blonde hair right above his cock and his dick sprung up when he finally removed his underwear entirely.

“So captainthighs, how about you tell me how I should jerk off huh?” He smirked as he caressed the inside of his thigh with that same index fingers he had used earlier on his nipples.

What was he supposed to do? Should he send a message? It would be rude if he didn’t, right? He removed his hand from his pants (when did they get here?) and quickly wrote something and hit send.

“I like rubbing my slit with my thumb.” The other man read out loud. “Are you doing it right now?”

Daichi was way too into this and moaned a small and breathy ‘yes’. He put his thumb in his mouth and licked it thoroughly before bringing it to his already-leaking slit. He typed something in the chat and hit send once again.

“I’ve never done it. Maybe I could do it too.” The other man said and he brought his hand to his cock slowly. It twitched in his hand and he pumped his shaft a few times before putting his thumb over slit. “So how do you do this?”

‘Wet your thumb first and then move it in circular motions over your slit.’ Daichi typed and he watched as the other man started doing just that. Daichi was now stroking his length from base to tip and he tipped his head back in pleasure and let out a very obscene moan that was in sync with the other man.

“Damn that feels good.” He hiccuped with pleasure. “I’ll make sure to ask you jerking off tips again.” He chuckled.

The other goal was reached pretty quickly again. “1000 tokens already? And it’s only been 30 minutes too! Time sure does fly by when you’re having fun.” He said and he grabbed the toy that he opened earlier.

He lowered his camera so it would only be focused on his lower half and put on the cock ring. When he turned it on, the room filled instantly with a soft buzzing sound accompanied with soft moans coming from the guy’s mouth.

Daichi was pumping himself harder and faster and he could feel his own release coming. The sight displayed in front of him was so erotic and different from all the porno things he used to watch.

The guy brought his index finger right under his balls and started caressing the skin between his balls and entrance in small circles.

“One of my friend-“ He moaned. “One of my friend told me you could stimulate your prostate externally like this.” He managed to hiss out. Daichi could see the other man’s cock twitch and he wasn’t even touching it and it was just _hot_.

Daichi brought his hand right below his balls and repeated the same motion as he kept pumping himself slow and hard. He had never tried touching his prostate. He knew it was there but he had never fingered himself or even put something _in there._ Learning you could actually stimulate it externally was a relief. Not that he was scared of fingering himself, he just didn’t know how to do it. Hell he didn’t even know if his fingers were long enough to reach it.

Even if his parents weren’t here, he couldn’t help but bite into his shirt to stifle his moan. Prostate stimulation felt so good and it saddened him a bit that he only discovered how good it felt at 18 years old. He wondered how good his jerking off sessions could have been if he had made this discovery sooner.

He snapped back to reality when he heard the other guy yell, yes _yell_ , a loud ‘fuck’. He removed his cock ring, the stimulation being too much on his leaky member and pumped it a few times, wet sounds with every movement. “I’m close.” He sobbed and the hand that was caressing his perineum went to his nipple and he was _literally_ fucking his hand at this point.

Daichi was trying to fall in sync with the guy on the video but it was too much and he had to bite his lips to repress the yelp that was about to come out of his mouth. He closed his eyes and came all over his stomach and hand, some of it landing on his shirt.

He could hear heavy breathing coming from his laptop and when he opened his eyes again he couldn’t help but drink in the sight. The stranger had his legs open and come all over his stomach and legs. His thighs were literally shaking.

After he calmed down, the other man moved his camera a little higher so that people could see his mouth as he licked his cum-covered fingers and then pulled them off with a wet and obscene pop. “I can’t even remember the last time I came this hard.” He laughed, his voice sounded a bit raspy and it honestly was kinda hot.

“I don’t think I can go for round two tonight.”

The chat went wild once again, people saying ‘are you sure you can’t keep going?’ or ‘i want to see you come again baby boy’, this one made Daichi cringe. Daichi felt the urge to send something too, and he did.

“Rest well.” The stranger read out loud. “I will, thank you captain! And thank you everyone for watching and tipping tonight.” He said with a huge smile and Daichi couldn’t help but blush, he really was too cute. “I’ll probably be here all week, same time as today but you can turn on the notifications on my page so that you know when I go live!”

He got closer to his laptop and whispered a small ‘goodnight everyone’ and then the screen went black. Daichi plucked a couple of tissues from the box that was on his desk and wiped the cum off his stomach and then turned off his laptop.

He stood up, pulled his underwear back on and removed his shirt before climbing into bed. When he looked at the time on his phone he realised that it was already 10. He had spent an hour watching a guy jerking off and he thought that maybe he could watch him again. His voice turned Daichi on so much and he was just good with words. Like he knew what he was doing. His voice did sound a bit familiar but he decided to not think about it too much, his eyelids feeling more and more heavy as each seconds passed.

Despite it being so early, he fell into a deep sleep rapidly, images of the hot stranger flashing through his mind when he closed his eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am i embarrassed for writing this? Yes definitely


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lies and guilt, peppered with revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments and kudos on the last chapter <3 it means a lot to me!! and thank you ken again for proofreading this!

“Thank you everyone for watching me tonight! I’ll see you again tomorrow at the same time!” He said and then stopped the livestream.

It was 11 when he finished the live this time. He came twice that night, the first just by touching himself, and the second time with a dildo. 

He took the dildo with him to the bathroom to clean, then hopped in the bath to wash off the bodily fluids and lube that were still on his ass and chest.

He turned on the water, waiting a few seconds so that the water would warm up a little before going under the jet and sat down in the bath. 

He felt disgusting. Every single time he stopped his lives, reality coming crashing down, he couldn’t help but feel repulsed by himself. He brought his knees closer to his chest and buried his face in his arms. A sob escaped his mouth and he felt tears stung his eyes and fall down his cheeks, mixing itself with the water that was pooling at his feet.

It happened every time. Every time he stopped his lives; he couldn’t help but let the panic settle in. He liked doing what he was doing, but he couldn’t help but think about how disappointed his family or his friends would be if they came to learn about it. For now, he just had to find something that would help him relieve his aching heart in his chest, some kind of anchor.

He remembered the call from a few days before. His best friend’s words resonating through his brain. 

“You can do this, I know you can.” Daichi had told him. He didn’t know if what he said was the truth but, right now it was the best thing he found to calm himself down. 

Daichi had always been someone he could rely on and it probably was one of the main reason he fell in love with him. 

He took a few deep breath and drew circles on his legs with his index finger as his mind got flooded with pictures of him and Daichi. They hadn’t FaceTimed that day, Suga inventing some boring excuse for the third time in a row because he didn’t want Daichi to worry about him.

After he calmed down, Suga stood up and turned off the water, taking his towel as he dried off his body and hair. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, damp hair flattened on his forehead and eyes still red from the tears that had spilled earlier. He splashed some cold water on his face and put on a pair of clean underwear.

When he went back to his bedroom, his laptop was still on the camboy website. He looked at how many tokens he had made that night, the number growing days after days. He also looked at who gave the most tokens and his eyes landed on a name that made him smile.

He had wanted to send a message to this one guy that he often saw on his livestreams, for some reasons that he couldn’t explain, he felt like he was different. Maybe he could give it a try.

He clicked on captainthighs’ profile and looked at the very few info that were there. He was apparently 18, just like him and was a university student. He saw that he was offline but decided to send a message anyway.

_spikemyballs (11:39PM) : hi! i don’t know if it’s something i’m supposed to do but i really wanted to say thanks again for the tokens and everything :) i really appreciate seeing you on my livestreams, it really means a lot to me! so thank you again! goodnight :)_

He waited a few minutes before opening a new tab on his mac. He was met with the familiar ping of a text and opened Messages on his laptop. It was a text from Daichi and he couldn’t help but frown as he read it.

_From : Daichi_

_Thu 2 May, 11:48 PM_

_hey suga, if you don’t want to facetime with me it’s alright you know i won’t be mad or anything_

Daichi must have seen right through his lies, but he couldn’t help it.

_To : Daichi_

_Thu 2 May, 11:49 PM_

_i want to facetime with you!! but i told you i’m busy_

_how about we call tomorrow evening? around 10?_

Suga guessed he would have to cut short his live the next evening. It sure meant gaining less money, but he couldn’t afford to lose Daichi, not right now.

_From : Daichi_

_Thu 2 May, 11:50 PM_

_sure sounds good. why so late?_

_To : Daichi_

_Thu 2 May, 11:50 PM_

_i’m going to the library tomorrow afternoon with a friend! and then we’re having dinner so uh.. yeah!_

He hated it. He hated lying to his best friend, his captain, his _crush_. But he couldn’t let him know. He couldn’t let him know that he was a camboy and that he enjoyed being watched as he did kinky stuff to himself.

_From : Daichi_

_Thu 2 May, 11:51 PM_

_okay, text me when you’re about to call me then_

_To : Daichi_

_Thu 2 May, 11:51 PM_

_okay :) night Daichi!_

He took one last glance at the still-unread message he had sent to captainthighs and turned off his laptop before slipping under the bedcovers. He fell asleep later than unusual that night, a few minutes past sunrise, as he kept replaying _that_ scene. That scene when Daichi and Suga went home together one last time after high school, that scene when Suga had been meaning to confess, but they were interrupted by Daichi’s phone and he had never brought up the subject again. 

What if no one had called Daichi that day? What if he had confessed and him and Daichi got together? What if he had confessed and Daichi would have rejected him, their friendship falling apart before he could have ever seen it coming?

* * *

 

 

“Have you talked to Suga recently?” Daichi asked as he took a sip of his water.

Daichi had asked Asahi if they could meet up and and play volleyball that afternoon. They had been playing for the past 2 hours and he had been meaning to ask him that question ever since they met up.

Daichi watched attentively as Asahi wiped the sweat off his forehead with his tee. 

“We texted yesterday, we don’t really like FaceTiming.” 

“Oh alright.” 

“What’s up? Did something happen?”

Daichi sat down against one of the trees and buried his head in his knees. 

“We FaceTimed on Monday and he cried because he felt guilty about going to Tokyo without us and he told me how it made him feel miserable.” Asahi looked at him with a dumbfounded look plastered on his face. 

“I told him it was ok and tried to reassure him as best as I could, but I feel like he keeps making excuses so that we won’t call.” 

“Excuses?”

“He told me he was going out with Oikawa on Wednesday, but I saw him with Iwaizumi yesterday.” He said as he looked up at Asahi. 

“I think he just doesn’t want us to worry about him. And I don’t want to confront him about it either.”

Asahi sat down in front of him and hugged the volleyball to his chest. 

“I don’t think confronting him about it is a good idea, but you guys should definitely talk about it.” 

“Yeah.” He brought his hand to his mouth and bit at one of his fingernails. “We’re FaceTiming tonight so I’ll probably bring up the subject.” 

As he was about to open his mouth, Asahi got interrupted by his phone’s ringtone. 

“That’s my mom wait.” He said as he stood up and walked over to his backpack to retrieve his phone.

Daichi took a look at his own phone and saw that Suga still hadn’t replied to the text he had sent a few hours ago asking him if they were still going to FaceTime that evening. 

“My mom said I should go home since it’s almost 7.” 

Daichi stood up and slung his bag over his shoulders. 

“Can’t miss your curfew huh?” He laughed before receiving a light hit on his shoulder. 

“Tell me how it goes with Suga.” Asahi said with one of his soft smiles. They parted ways a few minutes later, Daichi thinking about how he would approach Suga on his problems later.

The first thing he did when he got home was take a quick shower. He then went back to his room to take his laptop and went to the kitchen to make himself some dinner. 

Daichi was a good cook. He had always liked cooking and he had always made his bentos himself. His parents never minded leaving him alone for a few days because they knew he would eat good food and not order take out and what not.

It was only 7:40, there was only an hour left before the livestream, but he wanted to buy a few more tokens before it started. When he logged into his account, he saw a small ‘1’ in the top left corner of his screen, he blinked at the message from spikemyballs.

The guy had sent the message the night before, right after his live. Daichi hoped the other man didn’t think he was ignoring him as he typed out a message quickly.

_captainthighs (7:43PM) : hey sorry i didn’t go on here all day! i hope you didn’t think i was ignoring you or something_

The little dot next to spikemyball’s icon turned from grey to green a minute later, accompanied by another text from the stranger.

_spikemyballs (7:44PM) : it’s alright! i thought you would have the app on your phone but i guess you don’t?_

Daichi frowned at the message, he didn’t even know there would be an app for this kind of website.

_captainthighs (7:44PM) : ahah no…_

_captainthighs (7:44PM) : and about the message you sent.. uhm you’re welcome. and i’m glad my presence on your lives makes you happy..i don’t really know why though?_

_spikemyballs (7:45PM) : i don’t know either aha! you just seem like a nice person. kinda different from the old perverts watching my lives ¯\\_(_ ⌣̯̀⌣́ _)_/¯_

_captainthighs (7:45PM) : how do you know i’m not some old pervert ?_

_spikemyballs (7:46PM) : it’s literally written on your profile ahah. unless you lied? but no offence you speak like a teenager_

Daichi couldn’t help but snort at that last message. As he was about to reply something, the stranger sent him another message.

_spikemyballs (7:46PM) : so why me!! why are you watching me and not some other guy?_

“Why you?” Daichi thought to himself as he began to write an answer.

_captainthighs (7:47PM) : we’re pretty much into the same stuff. and i really liked your bio. at least it didn’t contain the word ‘cock’ in every single sentence_

_captainthighs (7:47PM) : your username also spiked my interest i guess_

Daichi unlocked his phone and downloaded the app the stranger had mentioned before as he waited for his answer. He had never expected he would bond with the guy he was jerking off to but, it seemed like the other man didn’t mind, he was the one who approached him after all. 

As he was about to enter his account information, his phone vibrated in his hand and he was met with a text from Suga, confirming that they were still going to FaceTime that evening. After he entered his password and username on the app, he received another notifications, ‘spikemyballs sent you a message.’ it read.

_spikemyballs (7:53PM) : into the same stuff huh… interesting_

_spikemyballs (7:53PM) : aha i see what you did there ;) do you play?_

_captainthighs (7:54PM) : yeah… you?_

_spikemyballs (7:54PM) : used to :) in junior and high school_

The stranger was a volleyball player, just like himself. He did feel kind of relieved, at least they would always have something other than the topic of sex to talk about.

_spikemyballs (7:56PM) : which position do you play?_

_captainthighs (7:56PM) : wing spiker! you?_

_spikemyballs (7:57PM) : ahah now this is fate! i’m a setter_

_spikemyballs (7:59PM) : i should go get ready, don’t want to be late for the live :) i’ll talk to you later? ( ᵕ̤ ‧̫̮ ᵕ̤ )_

Daichi was glad that his newfound friend wanted to get better acquainted, his excitement clearly visible on his cheeks (and in his pants).

_captainthighs (8:00PM) : sure, i look forward to it :)_

He didn’t want to admit it, but he did look forward to getting to know this person. So far, Daichi thought he was a nice guy. They barely even talked about sex, which was a good thing to his virgin-self. He also liked the anonymity between the two of them, the fact that the other didn’t even ask for his name quite pleasing.

Daichi wasn’t really embarrassed about going on these kind of website, it was something natural to him, but he couldn’t even begin to imagine what would happen if this information came to light. Articles everywhere, ‘Daichi Sawamura, ex-Karasuno captain, goes on cam websites’. He knew this wouldn’t happen, but he could never be too careful.

As he ate his dinner, Daichi couldn’t help but think about how he would approach Suga about his problems. Suga was always the one to help others, and always the one to refuse help from others. 

Suga had never opened up to Daichi about any of his problems before their call on Monday. Tears of sadness were a rare sight on Suga’s face. The boy was always so bright and so cheerful, but Daichi could tell he was always hiding his most profound emotions. 

Daichi still remembers how upset Suga was when he told their Coach it wouldn’t hurt his feelings if he didn’t play as a regular anymore. He saw the lie right through him but, Suga acted as if nothing had ever happened in front of Asahi and Daichi.

Daichi got snapped out of his thoughts when he received a notification on his phone: ‘spikemyballs’s live starts in 5 minutes.’ 

He put his plate in the sink without washing it (he would do that later), and quickly went upstairs. He fished out his bottle of tingling lube out of his bedside table, the one that Suga had gifted him for his 18th birthday (now wasn’t the time to think about his best friend), and sat down on his chair right as the live started.

Nothing had truly started yet, but he was already horny. Maybe it was the sight (it was definitely the sight) of a dildo standing proudly on the stranger’s bed that made him this horny. Or maybe it was the fact that the stranger was wearing a large, Nintendo 64 hoodie with a pair of cream lacy panties that made his blood pump fast in his veins (and cock). 

“Good evening everyone!” The man said with a smile as he was toying with the hem of his sweater, a habit that Daichi had picked up on. “I’ll have to stop earlier than usual tonight, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be having less fun!” 

The chat room got flooded with all kind of messages, mostly people who were disappointed, but the stranger only focused on the nice ones. 

“You guys already started giving tokens! I didn’t even do anything yet!” He said with a soft laugh. “I thought I could try edge play tonight! As well as ride this bad boy.” He smirked.

Daichi blushed at the thought of the stranger bouncing up and down on the dildo as he let out those tiny mewls and whimpers that Daichi had come to love. The 200 tokens goal had already been reached and he let out a small gasp. “200 already? Maybe I should raise the goals a little, it has become a little too easy for you guys to undress me!” He laughed. 

The man did gain in popularity over the past few days. When Daichi had first went on his live, there were only around 150 people there, the higher goals would take more than 10 minutes before being reached. There were already 269 people on the live, and it had only just started. 

“How about I remove this hoodie at 400 tokens?” 

The goal was reached pretty quickly again, Daichi helping with the 10 last tokens.  “Ah Captain you’re here! I’m glad you came!” 

Daichi felt his cock twitch at how his username sounded (he definitely had a voice kink now), and placed a hand on his bulge, gently palming at his growing erection.

The stranger removed his sweater slowly, exposing his milky white chest that made Daichi’s mouth water. Daichi rarely ever wrote stuff in the chat, unless he was asked to by the other man, but he felt a little more daring tonight and decided to send one.

“I want to lick your chest.” The stranger read out loud. 

“Well I wouldn’t say no to that.” He smirked and Daichi could feel his ears heat up in embarrassment. He was glad he didn’t know him personally, as he would have probably died of shame.

“What kind of other things would you like to do to me, Captain?” He purred and Daichi could see that the other’s underwear were already strained with precum, his cock stretching the fabric a little bit more at each passing minute.

Daichi had never done these kind of things, he typed the first thing that came to his mind as he removed his volleyball shorts and placed his free hand on his dick again.

_captainthighs (9:11PM) : i’d lick your nipples, my tongue moving in slow circles while you’re crying out in pleasure._

The stranger let out a loud moan and Daichi was sure that it was due to his messages. “I swear to god I almost just came right now.” He whispered as he started palming himself through his panties. 

“How about 800 tokens and I’ll remove these?” 

There was a string of message in the chat, all saying that he should keep the panties on as he fucked himself on the dildo, and Daichi watched the other’s cheeks flush red rapidly. 

“Uhm I guess I could keep the panties on then.” 

Daichi could see the tip of the stranger’s cock peeking out of his panties and he decided to remove his underwear as he started stroking his achingly-hard dick at a slow pace, squeezing the tip every once in a while.

The other man brought his hand to his mouth and started sucking on his fingers, a string of saliva coming out as he started rubbing his nipples with them. The sounds he let out made Daichi’s cock leak with precum. He had never been more turned on than he was right now and he could tell the other man was in the same state as himself.

“I’ll deep throat this when we reach 1000.” He let out a shaky moan. 

“And then how about I get it in at 1400? huh?” The stranger was desperately hard through his panties and Daichi could see his hips moving on their own accord, trying to relieve the tightness of the fabric over his aching length. 

Daichi took the tingling lube that he left on his desk earlier and poured a small amount on his palm, warming it up a little before stroking his length from base to tip, taking his time. He heard a loud moan coming from his laptop and the sound went right through his dick.

The other man’s cock was almost entirely freed from the fabric and Daichi couldn’t help but look at the tip, all red and swollen, shiny with precum. The first goal was reached pretty quickly and he brought the dildo to his mouth before licking a long wet stripe along the length of the toy. He brought his other hand to his cock at the same time and began thumbing at his slit, one of his most sensitive areas, Daichi had come to learn.

His lips parted wider and Daichi let out a whine at the sight, the stranger was literally fucking his toy with his mouth, hollowing his cheeks every once in a while and letting out small whimpers that made both their dicks throb with pleasure. 

The tingly lube was a nice and welcomed sensation against his length and as he felt his own release coming, he stopped stroking himself and put his hand on his thigh, breathing heavily, he didn’t want to come _right now_.

When the next goal was reached, the other man removed the dildo from his mouth with a loud and wet ‘pop’. He put some lube on his fingers before bringing them to his entrance, a small whimper escaping his lips as he fucked himself on his fingers. It was the most beautiful thing Daichi had ever seen. 

He was scissoring himself and widening himself up and he let out those soft tiny moan that made Daichi feel dizzy with want. He removed his fingers a few seconds after and positioned himself over the toy. 

“I like it when it hurts.” He said breathily as he slid himself down on the dildo. 

Daichi watched as the other man bounced up and down on the toy, his brow knitted in concentration and letting out a small groan. Daichi decided to bring his hand down to his cock again, moving his hand in synch with the movement of the stranger’s hips. 

All Daichi could hear were the tiny mewls and deep breaths that the other let out, and occasionally a few ‘fuck’ and ‘so good’ tumbling out of his mouth. He brought his hand to his own length and started pumping quickly, rubbing circles at the tip with his thumb. 

Daichi was already a panting and moaning mess, and he let out a loud whine when he saw the stranger literally _spit_ on his cock. 

“I’m so close.” The stranger managed to say through gritted teeth.

He let out a loud cry, the dildo aiming right into his prostate. 

“Right there, fuck I-“ He hummed. 

“Cap, come with me.” He muttered and before he could even register it, Daichi’s whole body trembled as he came all over his stomach, some of it landing on his chin when he heard his username being pronounced.

He quickly plucked a couple of tissues from the box on his desk and cleaned himself up as he watched the other man ride out his orgasm, he felt lightheaded in the best way possible. 

He hissed when he pulled the dildo out of his hole and licked his come-covered fingers clean. 

“I’m spent.” He laughed tiredly, he played with his now flaccid dick for a few seconds and he was making those tiny moans at the overstimulation. 

“It’s 10 already! I wish I could stay a bit longer but I have other stuff to do!” He said with a smile. 

“Thank you everyone for coming tonight, and I guess we’ll see each other tomorrow!” And with that, he was offline.

As Daichi was about to stand up to clean his hands properly, he received a message from spikemyballs, followed by a text from Suga a few second later.

_From : Suga_

_Fri 3 May, 10:03 PM_

_just got home, will call you when i get out of the shower :)!_

_To : Suga_

_Fri 3 May, 10:03PM_

_okay sounds good!_

He opened the camboy app and smiled as he read the stranger’s text.

 _spikemyballs (10:02PM) : so how was the live? did you like it? (_ ๑ _> ᴗ<_๑ _)_

_captainthighs (10:04PM) : i came when you said my username ahah_

The other man didn’t respond to his text right away so he took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and wash his hands. When he went back to his room, he walked to his wardrobe to put on a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He also put his bottle of lube back into his bedside table as he didn’t really want Suga to learn he had jerked off before their calls.

He received a text a few minutes later, this time from Suga, telling him he would call him in two minutes. He then felt his phone vibrate in his hands, a message from spikemyballs. When he read the message, he had to keep himself from getting hard once again.

_spikemyballs (10:16PM) : mmm i wish i could have seen that ~_

As he typed out an answer, he saw his laptop screen light up with the facetime notifications and deleted what he was about to send and replaced it with a simple, winking emoji.

He clicked on the green phone icon, and as the call connected and the other’s camera came to life, his mind went blank at the sudden realisation.

Suga, his best-friend, his vice captain, was none other than spikemyballs. The guy he had been jerking off to for the past week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loving those cliffhangers ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spikemyballs (3:32PM) : well ok first question then : are you a virgin ?

A sudden sense of realisation dawned on Daichi and he felt an unpleasant weight in his stomach as he stares blankly at his laptop screen.

“Hey Daichi!”

The Nintendo hoodie, the Star Wars poster that he had gifted him for his 17th birthday (how could he have forgotten about it).

“Daichi?”

It was evident when he thought about it, the tone of his voice, the milky white chest that he had seen more often than not in the shower. The blonde tuft of hair right above his cock-

“Captain!” 

“Hi, sorry.” Daichi said, forcing his gaze back to the screen as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

“Did you see a ghost or something?” Suga chuckled, voice sounding raspy from what he did earlier.

‘No, I just realised my best friend is a camboy I’ve been watching every night for the past 6 days.’ He could have said. But he didn’t. 

“I’m just tired, I guess.” He said instead.

Suga hummed (why did that sound go straight through his dick?) and gave him one of his signature smiles. 

“Did you stay up for me?”

“Kind of. I uhm had homework to do so I did that while waiting for you.” 

Daichi hated lying. He wasn’t a natural liar, he had always associated lying to bad things.

“You can go to bed if you want, I don’t mind.” Suga said as he brought his knees closer to his chest, chin resting on them.

“No I need to talk to you about something.” 

“Uh, what is it?”

Daichi brought his fingers to his mouth, biting his nails as he thought about what to say next. All his brain was saying was ‘talk to him about the camboy issue’, but it wasn’t what he wanted to talk to him about. Not right now.

“You should stop biting your nails, you’re gonna draw blood.” The silver-haired boy said, a tint of worry in his voice.

“Are you coming back to Sendai this summer?” He blurted out. This wasn’t what he had wanted to ask but, he couldn’t form any sentence except this one right now.

“Ah.” Suga sounded surprised, as if he could tell this wasn’t what his best friend had intended to say. Way to go Daichi. 

“Yeah, I actually got my train tickets the other day, I’ll send you the time wait.” 

He heard the sound of Suga’s fingers typing on his keyboard and received a text a few seconds later. He was about to open the Messages app on his MacBook, but realised that the notification he had received wasn’t a text from Suga. He fished out his phone from his pocket and looked at the message from spikemyballs.

_spikemyballs (10:29 PM) : are you still up ? :)_

He felt like he was about to throw up. Here he was, talking to his best friend over FaceTime, but also on a camboy app, where he was the only one knowing the identity of the other. 

He didn’t want to make Suga upset, so he replied to the message, forgetting about the sharp pain in his abdomen.

_captainthighs (10:30PM) : yeah!_

He received Suga’s trains informations on the Messages app and looked up from his phone screen when he heard Suga’s soft chuckle.

“What is it?”

“Who are you talking to?” He asked, a mischievous smile pulling at his lips.

“How did you know I was talking to someone?” 

“Answering my question with another question? Nice.” He laughed. 

“You’re smiling like a schoolgirl at your phone.”

He brought his hand to his cheek and he realised that he indeed was smiling.

“Ah uhm I’m talking to Michimiya.” Daichi couldn’t even believe his own lies, how could Suga believe him?

He let out a surprised noise and Daichi saw Suga’s smile turn into a frown. 

“Are you two dating?” 

If Daichi had had water in his mouth, he probably would have spat it out. 

“Why would we be dating?”

“Well uhm you know…”

“No I don’t.” He raised one of his eyebrows questioningly.

Suga averted his gaze and looked at his phone, visibly avoiding the conversation. 

“Suga come on!” 

“She uhm, she’s always had a crush on you you know…You probably are the only one who doesn’t know so I thought maybe she could have confessed or something.” He said, his cheeks turning crimson.

“Oh.” He felt dumb all of a sudden. And a bit embarrassed too. How could he have not seen it? 

“Well uhm she’s not my type anyway so.”

“What’s your type then ?” 

They had never talked about these kind of things before, and right now all his brain was saying was ‘you’. Why was his brain thinking that? Suga was his best friend. Sure, he was pretty, with his caramel brown eyes and plump lips and that cute mole at the corner of his eye, even a straight guy wouldn’t deny it, but it’s not like Suga was his type, right? 

He felt his cheeks heat up in a blush as he tried to think of another lie he could tell his best friend. He couldn’t tell him he was gay, even if he knew now that Suga was too, he had never admitted it out loud and he wasn’t ready for that kind of talk right now. 

“Is something up? You’re making me worry Daichi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said, biting his lip nervously. 

“Why did you lie to me the other day ?” He asked as if he hadn’t been lying to him ever since the call connected. Now that he finally got to ask what he had meant to ask earlier, he felt like a weight just got lifted from his shoulders. It was replaced by a heavy weight in his stomach as he saw the saddened look on his best friend’s face. This wasn’t what he had intended to do.

He saw tears begin to form in his pretty brown eyes. 

“Wh-“

“The other day, you said you were going out with Oikawa but I saw him the day after. I thought that maybe you just didn’t want to FaceTime with me anymore.” 

It was true. Daichi did feel bad about this. Even if he knew why now part of the reason why they couldn’t FaceTime the days before, they could still have called during the day. Before Suga went live.

He saw Suga bury his face in his knees and he felt his heart drop. 

“Suga-“

“I just spend my days crying in my room and feeling miserable and I don’t want you to see me like that.” He muttered, his voice squeaky and wavering. 

Now that he thought about it, when the call connected a few minutes ago, he did notice the red in Suga’s eyes, indicating that he did cry earlier. Probably after his livestream.

“I’ve seen you cry before.”

Suga lifted up his head and met Daichi’s gaze through his screen. His eyes were red from the tears that had spilled (and were still threatening to spill) and he could see light tear stains on his cheeks. 

“I didn’t want you to see that,” He sniffled. “I don’t want you to see how weak I actually am.”

Daichi just wanted to hit him now. Or hug him. Or both. “Crying does not indicate that you’re weak, Suga.” 

“But-“

“No,” He interrupted, raising his eyebrows. “I’m here for you Suga, I’ll always be and I know that if it were me you would be here for me too.” 

“I just… I miss you a lot.” Suga said through a sniffle.

There are butterfly fluttering in his stomach and Daichi’s can feel the tip of his ears getting hotter at each passing seconds. 

“I-I miss you too.” He stuttered.

That night, the two of them had trouble falling asleep. Suga on his side, kept thinking about Daichi reassuring words. The way he blushed when he said he missed him, but also the way his stomach flipped when he learned why Daichi was smiling down at his phone.

Suga had always been wary of other girls. He had always been wary of them because he knew they would take his place beside Daichi. Even if Daichi had said earlier that he would always be here for him, he knew deep down inside him that he would never be here for the love part of his life. 

On the other hand, Daichi kept thinking about what he had just found out. He didn’t know what to do, and it was what was most difficult about this situation. Should he tell Suga what he knows and risk ruining their friendship? Should he stop talking to ‘spikemyballs’ and make him upset ? 

After weighing the pros and cons for most of the night, he thought that none of these options would be good for the both of them. Maybe he would tell him one day. But not now. Would Suga be more upset if he lost his newfound friend? Or if he learned that his newfound friend was in fact his closest one?

Daichi woke up the day after to the sound of feet padding outside his door and a soft knock on his door. He hummed in response and saw his mother’s head peering out the doorway. 

“Can I come in?” She whispered with a smile. Daichi didn’t want to admit it but he did miss that soft voice of hers. 

He hummed again in response and his mother approached his window, opening the blind slightly. He put the covers over his head in an attempt to block the light but he soon felt a hand grab the duvet and pull it down delicately. 

“Good afternoon, sleepyhead.” 

“Afternoon?”

“It’s three in the afternoon, did you stay up all night?” 

“Unintentionally, yes. How was grandpa?” He asked, voice raspy as he sat up again the headboard, his mother’s hand placed on his knee as she sat down on his bed, some kind of leverage.

“He was good, he did feel sad that his favourite grandson wasn’t here.” She chuckled lightly.

“We all know Eijun is his favourite grandson, mom.” He smiled before burying his head in his knees.

“Are you okay?” She looked at him, worry clear on his face and ruffled his hair slightly.

“I’m just tired.” Daichi didn’t want his mom to worry about him so he just nodded in response. 

“Do you want me to bring you something to eat? Did you at least eat well while we were away?” She asked and then stood up. Daichi hummed in agreement and watched her as she left the room.

He unplugged his phone and looked at his notifications from the night before and saw he received a message from spikemyballs. He hesitated before opening the message but did it anyway.

_spikemyballs (1:05PM) : hi! sorry i feel asleep yesterday ahah. how are you? :)_

He couldn’t believe this whole friendship was just built on lies.

_captainthighs (3:25PM) : hey! you don’t have to apologise i just woke up. i’m good, how are you?_

He saw the little dot next to his icon turn from grey to green and he received a message a few seconds later.

_spikemyballs (3:26PM) : i’m great! :)_

_spikemyballs (3:26PM) : i just realised i actually don’t know anything about you.._

_spikemyballs (3:26PM) : i mean you don’t really know anything about me either but uhm.. yeah you know what i mean ahah_

He didn’t think this far up in his plan and now he just thought about one thing: he was fucked. He thought the anonymity would stay between them. That he wouldn’t ask him any personal information. And now that he thought about it, he knew it would eventually happen.  He didn’t know whether he should keep lying or tell him the truth. As long as he didn’t tell him his name, it would be fine, right?

_captainthighs (3:28PM) : and is there anything in particular that you want to know about me ?_

_spikemyballs (3:29PM) : not particularly no..._

_spikemyballs (3:29PM) : how about i ask you a question and you can ask me one in return?_ ＼ _(^-^)_ ／

_captainthighs (3:30PM) : alright sounds good!_

Daichi looked towards his bedroom door that was still closed and buried himself under the covers.

_spikemyballs (3:30PM) : well first question! are you a sub or a dom?_

He raised an eyebrow questioningly at his phone, now what the heck does that mean?

_captainthighs (3:31PM) : a what_

_spikemyballs (3:31PM) : captain… come on!!_

_spikemyballs (3:31PM) : don’t tell me i’m gonna have to explain that to you…_

He could feel his face growing red in embarrassment. He didn’t know what went through his head when he agreed to answering questions about himself.

_captainthighs (3:32PM) : uhhh_

_spikemyballs (3:32PM) : well ok first question then : are you a virgin ?_

Daichi choked on his spit as he read the question. Was Suga not a virgin anymore? Who could he have had sex with? And for some reason, why did he feel a sudden wave of jealousy running through his veins?

_captainthighs (3:33PM) : yes ? you aren’t?_

_spikemyballs (3:33PM) : i am big doofus! but at least i know what these kind of things mean!_

Daichi let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, at least that was reassuring. 

_spikemyballs (3:34PM) : ok wait take this test and THEN i’ll ask you questions!_ [ _bdsmtest.org_ ](http://bdsmtest.org)

He clicked on the link the other man just sent him and he was redirected to a website where ‘welcome to the bdsm test’ was written. He entered the basic infos about him, as the website requested like age and gender and clicked on the ‘next’ button. He frowned as he read the series of questions that were written. He had to choose between different options, ‘absolutely disagree’, ‘neutral’ and ‘absolutely agree’.

The first question he had to answer was ‘I like to be dominated, especially in the bedroom’. He couldn’t help but snort at that and clicked on ‘absolutely disagree’.

He answered the other questions quickly and couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at one of them.

_captainthighs (3:39PM) : ‘i enjoy being kept as a pet : in a cage, eating out of a bowl…” seriously?_

_spikemyballs (3:40PM) : i take that you don’t like this ? ( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ _ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )_

He let out a strangled noise and shifted uncomfortably in his bed. Suga couldn’t… ?

_captainthighs (3:41PM) : no?????_

_captainthighs (3:41PM) : do you?_

_spikemyballs (3:41PM) : NO never!! ‧_ ∘ _˳°_ ∗ _˚(⁎›ˍ_ ູ _‹)_ ∗ _._ ∘ _˚˳°_

As Daichi was about to reply, he felt a hand on his covered shoulder and let out a small shriek. 

He dropped his phone between his bed and the wall, the object landing with a loud ‘thud’. He removed the covers from his body and looked at his mom who was carrying a plate with omurice. She put down the plate on his bedside table and Daichi could already feel the flush crawling up his neck.

“Mom could you please… I don’t know maybe knock before entering.” He could feel the tip of his ears grow hot and whispered. “I could have been doing… stuff.” 

The only answer he got was a deadpanned look and a forehead flick. 

“I’ll make sure to knock next time and not interrupt your ‘things’.” She said, using air quotes. “Who were you talking to? A girlfriend maybe?” She asked as she wriggled her eyebrows. 

“Mom.” He sat up against the headboard, completely forgetting about his phone.

“Ok, no girlfriend then.” She smiled and then sat down next to her son.

He had thought about telling his mother he was gay for quite some time now. He knew she would accept it, but it was still hard for him to say it out loud; It was still hard to say “I like boys” out loud. So now all he could do was wait until he was ready.

“Baby are you sure you’re alright? Did something happen?” She insisted. She brought her hand to Daichi’s cheek and stroked it gently, the boy leaning into the touch.

“I talked to Suga yesterday.” He closed his eyes and put his head against the headboard. “And he...” He hesitated and he could feel a lump in his throat. 

“Daichi?”

“I know it’s selfish to say that but I miss him. I really do and it...hurts. It hurts so fucking much mom.” He sobbed, his emotions from the night before finally breaking free. He was unable to control his pain, his tears and they kept falling down his cheeks. “And he said he missed me too and I don’t know why this should make me happy but all it does is make me hurt.”

His mother looked at him and the look on his face made her want to hug him and ease his pain. She put her two arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. She could feel his tears soaking her shirt and all she could do was watch as he emptied his heart of its pain. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, his mother kissing his hair and caressing his back in a soothing manner as Daichi cried on her shoulder. 

“It’s not selfish of you for missing him, Daichi.” She finally said when he removed his body from her embrace. He wiped the few tears streaks on his cheeks with his shirt and took a deep, shaky breath before burying his head in his knees. 

“You know, I remember when you invited him over right before he left for Tokyo. I did notice how sad you were about it Daichi, I could even feel you resented him a little for doing that. Do you still feel this way?”

“No.” He sniffled. “I’m glad he’s doing what makes him happy.”

“I saw him cry in the bathroom that day, when you guys went to bed.” She said as she watched him lift up his head. She stood up and walked towards his desk and plucked a couple a tissues from the box before giving them to him. 

“He told me he didn’t want you to feel sad, he didn’t want you to feel angry, he just wanted you to be happy and you’re definitely not being that right now.” She continued and brushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead.

“I know.” He laughed quietly.

“Your dad and I got together in high school, and when he left for university and I had to stay in Nagano I was sad too. But I knew we would see each other again, and we cherished every single moment we got to spend together whenever he came back home. So please,” she said as she stood up and walked over to his bedroom door. 

“Cherish the moments you have with him while you’re still young.” She chuckled and closed the door quietly.

Daichi thought about what his mom said for the rest of the day, the plate of omurice and his phone forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if i wrote... daisuga being sad... ahah just kidding... unless?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can I talk to you about something ?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly longer chapter this time!!! it's almost 12K words long... thank you again ken for proof reading this <3 and enjoy this chapter :)

The days went by smoothly after the talk he had with his mom. The days then turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and it was already summer break and Daichi, Asahi and Iwaizumi were waiting for Suga and Oikawa at the train station.

He had thought about telling Suga what he knew about him, but he had preferred to wait until he came back to Sendai to tell him. He had kept talking to him on the camboy app daily for the past two months too. 

After the talk he had had with his mom, he continued sulking for an hour or two before continuing the BDSM test that he had started, but didn’t finish. He fished out his phone from the gap between his bed and the wall, finished the test and sent the results to spikemyballs.

_spikemyballs (6:20PM) : omg i thought you died or something!!!_

_spikemyballs (6:20PM) : rigger AND dom… this is right up my alley_

_captainthighs (6:21PM) : what’s rigger?_

_spikemyballs (6:21PM) : you took the test didn’t you?_

_spikemyballs (6:21PM) : just kidding… it’s like when you like tying up your partners and all!_

They had kept talking about his test results and comparing them to Suga’s. They also had continued asking questions to each other, and that’s when he had revealed his location to the other, to which he replied ‘oh my god really? i live here too! i mean i’m in tokyo right now! but sendai is my hometown! that’d be so awkward if we actually had met before ahah!’ and Daichi just had wanted to throw up.

Suga had also promised Daichi they would FaceTime more, and that he wouldn’t make up any excuses anymore to not FaceTime. He kept his promise and they called every Friday night at 8.

The crying eventually stopped and was replaced by laughter. They also studied a lot together, Daichi looking at his best friend fondly (and secretly) whenever he read his books on environment. 

He got snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. “You good?” Iwaizumi asked, concern clear on his face.

“Just a bit nervous is all, don’t worry.” He gave him a warm smile and turned around to look at the two men properly. 

“Did you two fight or something?” 

“No, there’s just stuff I have to talk to him about and… I don’t know how he’ll take it.” He looked down at his hands to avoid both of their gazes and he heard a small hum coming from Iwaizumi.

Daichi had to talk to Suga about what he knew. He thought that talking about it with him while he was in Sendai was a good idea and he hoped it wouldn’t affect their friendship too much. He knew Suga would probably be mad, and he understood why but, he also knew Suga cared a lot about him, and that their friendship would not be over over something so ridiculous.

 

* * *

 

 

He could barely hear the sounds of the rails as he was reading his old conversations he had had with captainthighs for the past two months.

Talking to this stranger was nice, reassuring even. They had a lot in common, they even lived in the same city, and Suga couldn’t lie, he did consider maybe asking him on a date, no sex or anything, just getting to know one another.

The stranger also almost made him forget about his crush on his best friend. Not that it was easy, because he was _constantly_ reminded of him, whenever he read his username, or even wrote it, _captain_ , he did think a lot about Daichi though.

“Suga.” 

Whenever he went live and the stranger was here watching, coming and crying out ‘captain’, he couldn’t help but imagine Daichi being here, between his thighs instead of the dildo.

“Kou-chan!” The brunette whined and tugged at his sleeve.

Suga almost dropped his phone in the middle of the aisle and glared at Oikawa. “What?”

“We’re almost here.” He smiled. Suga just hummed in response and went back to reading his old texts.

“So are you going to tell them about your boyfriend?”

"H-He’s not my boyfriend.” He stuttered out and turned off his phone. 

“Uh huh.” The other man just hummed and Suga hit him lightly in the shoulder.

“They don’t even know I’m gay anyway.”

He was glad he and Oikawa were friends. He had learned at the beginning of the year that he was gay too and that he and Iwaizumi had been dating for over a year now. At least he had someone to talk to whenever he had a gay crisis.

“And do you plan on telling your crush about that?” He asked as he propped his chin on his hand. 

“Daichi isn’t my crush.”

“I never talked about Daichi-san.” He said with a huge smile, one of his signatures ones.

Suga opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He closed it again and muttered a small ‘fuck you’ and Oikawa couldn’t help but chuckle loudly at that.

Suga and Oikawa stood up as the train slowed down and went to retrieve their suitcases before stepping on the platform. They both waited until more people left the platform before going towards where Daichi, Iwaizumi and Asahi were waiting. And here they were, standing right in front of them, their backs turned to them.

“Hold my suitcase please.” Oikawa said with a huge smile and ran towards Iwaizumi before jumping on his back. 

Suga watched as Oikawa screamed ’Iwa-chan’ loudly. He could feel every other passengers’ gaze on them and he couldn’t even feel embarrassed. It felt good to be home, and it felt good to see Daichi (and Asahi) again.

He watched, from far away as Iwaizumi hugged his boyfriend tightly, and he couldn’t help but think about how it would feel like to be hugged like that by Daichi.

He still approached his best friend, slowly but surely and hugged him tightly. He was sure Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s hug had felt different, but this hug still felt warm and was much appreciated. 

He caught a glimpse of Oikawa’s eyes and if he wasn’t so occupied in breathing Daichi’s in, he would have probably hit him. 

He approached Asahi and hugged him too, it definitely did feel different, but it was welcomed too. 

“How are you guys going?” Iwaizumi asked as he detached himself from his boyfriend. 

“We’re great, I’m glad to be home.” Oikawa said. “Can’t wait to suck your dick later.” He whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek.

“I’ll kill you.” He said sheepishly. Iwaizumi rarely ever blushed but when he did, it definitely was a sight, and Oikawa abused that knowledge as much as he could.

“We should go and have lunch.” Daichi said after the two finished their bickering. They all left the train station together and walked towards a restaurant near their university. “Do you want me to take your suitcase?” 

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to?”

Suga gave him a deadpanned look and handed him his suitcase. “Thanks.” 

They all watched the couple ahead of them bickering and Suga couldn’t help but let out a small, distressed noise when the taller man took Iwaizumi’s hand in his.

“Are you two dating?” Asahi asked after quite some time.

Everybody noticed the anxious look on Iwaizumi’s face and Suga looked at Daichi attentively for any sign of disgust towards the two men, and all he could see was probably the same expression he was sporting right now : fear.

“Yes.” Oikawa admitted, without looking at him.

“I’m not even surprised to be honest, but congrats!” He smiled, and they all let out a sigh of relief. (Even Daichi, Suga noticed.)

They kept walking down the streets of Sendai, mostly chatting about university and how classes were going. Suga couldn’t help but smile dumbly at Daichi whenever he asked him something. He could feel Oikawa’s knowing gaze on himself whenever he turned around.

They eventually reached the restaurant, it reminded him of the one they used to go to after their games, he remembers the pained look on his teammates’ faces whenever they lost a game, but he also remembers the happy moments they had, most importantly that one time right after they won their match against Shiratorizawa, the one that made them go to nationals, that he’ll never forget.

They ordered their food, Daichi telling Suga that their spicy mapo tofu was apparently ‘exquisite’ and that ‘it brought tears to my eyes’, to which Suga laughed.

“Are you ok?” Daichi asked, a note of laughter in his voice as he watched Suga eat his _extra spicy_ mapo tofu. There were tears running down his cheeks, happy ones clearly.

Suga’s only response was a big, toothy smile and a thumbs up which made everyone at the table laugh. He was at his happiest he’d been in a while and he was glad he got to share this moment with his closest friends.

 

* * *

 

He was hyperconscious. He was hyperconscious of the hand on his thigh, Suga’s hand to be precise. They were all sitting down at their table and as Asahi handed Suga the teapot, he put his hand on his thigh, as some kind of leverage.

It did make him feel a little hot, he wasn’t used to being touched _there,_ and he knew that gesture was probably innocent but, he had to think really hard as to not pop a boner right here in front of his friends.

He couldn’t help but think about what Suga usually did with those hands, stuff that he saw with his own two eyes, stuff that he definitely shouldn’t have seen.

“Do you still work out?” The ashen-haired man asked, the question snapped him out of his thoughts, dirty thoughts if he had to admit, thoughts that he should definitely not be having right there, right now in this restaurant.

Everyone was chatting together and it seemed like nobody noticed what was going on between the two of them. His hand was still on his thigh and he was squeezing it a little, just to test out the flesh and he had to contain the flush that was threatening to crawl up his neck. “Yeah, Iwaizumi and I go to the gym when we have time after class.”

Suga removed his hand and hummed, Daichi letting out a sigh of relief internally. “Do you?”

“Have you looked at me, Daichi?” He chuckled and took a sip of his tea. 

“We could go run this summer, like before.” 

He nodded and smiled. “Sure.”

“Are you guys done? Iwa-chan and I have stuff to do after that so we’re gonna leave soon!”

“Just say you’re gonna have sex and go.” Suga said, chin propped on his hands.

“Suga!” They all cried out, except for Oikawa who just fell over laughing. Asahi just seemed scandalised that these words would come out of Suga’s mouth but, Daichi knew; he knew that more scandalous things went past those soft lips of his.

“Let’s go before Asahi has an aneurysm.” Daichi joked and stood up, extending his hand to help Suga stand up.

They all parted ways outside the restaurant, Suga and Daichi walking home together. It reminded him of their high school days, he remembers walking back home on his first day during his first year, only to realise that Suga lived right down the street, they haven’t gone home without the other since then.

“Do you want to come in? Drink something perhaps?” Suga asked, he hadn’t even realised they had reached his place. Daichi nodded and followed Suga to the entryway, still carrying his suitcase.

He removed his shoes in the genkan and followed Suga in the kitchen, he had always liked going to Suga’s place, it wasn’t a traditional japanese house like his but, he still felt at home here. 

He watched as Suga climbed on top of a bar stool to get two glasses for the two of them. He was sure he was tall enough now to reach them, but he did it anyway.

He thought that now was the time to ask him about what he saw. Ask him about the ‘camboy issue’ if he could call it that. He did feel a little queasy, felt a knot forming in his throat.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Uh uh go ahead.” He said with a smile, he knew this would probably change soon. He handed him his glass of water and sat down in front of him.

His hand was rubbing the back of his neck, he often did that when he was embarrassed, or stressed. He definitely felt both of these emotions right now. Embarrassment because, how could he tell his best friend that he was searching for jerking off content and ended up on his lives? Stressed because, this could definitely strain their friendship. “Well I-“

“Koushi!”

“Mom! Hi!” Suga stood up and walked over to his mom before hugging her tightly. Daichi did feel a little upset, but he also felt kind of relieved.

“Ah Daichi-kun!” She approached him and gave him a hug too. “How are you guys doing?”

“Good. We’re good.” He took a sip of his water. 

“Oh my, you’ve gotten a lot skinnier, don’t you think so Daichi-kun?” She said as she squished her son’s cheeks, Daichi almost choking on his drink.

“Mom!” He was pouting and his cheeks were red with embarrassment and if Daichi had to be honest, he did look kinda cute.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She chuckled and ruffled her son’s hair. “I’m going to the supermarket, do you want to have dinner with us Daichi-kun?”

He could have said yes. And he wanted to say yes, but he remembered that his parents left that morning, and that he couldn’t leave his brother alone. “I’m afraid I can’t, sorry. My parents left this morning and I don’t want my brother to burn down the house while cooking.” (This had nearly happened before, he remembers.)

“I see, say hello to your parents and Eijun-kun from me then.” She smiled as she walked towards the kitchen counter where a small paper was, probably the shopping list.

“I will.”

“See you later mom.” They both watched her leave and the ashen-haired boy closed the door behind her. They both went back to the kitchen, sitting down on their respective stools. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Ah… Uh I forgot.” He didn’t, he honestly wished he did. Not only what he had meant to ask, but also what he had seen. He didn’t know whether his lie was believable or not, but up until now, he did believe him, right?

“Really?” He said with a pout, he propped his chin up on his hands.

“Yeah, uhm I’ll tell you about it if I remember.” Now Suga definitely knew he was lying. Maybe he should just leave? “I think I’m gonna go now.”

Suga did look a bit disappointed but smiled anyway. “Okay!”

They walked over to the genkan and Daichi sat down to put on his shoes. 

“Uhm thank you for today, I’m glad I got to spend it with you and the guys.”

Was Suga blushing? He definitely was blushing. And it looked cute. Not that he was in love with Suga or anything, he was just observing. “If you wanna hang out again, you know where I live.” He joked before standing up.

“Yes, yes, go away before your house burns down.” He snickered before shoo’ing him out  the house with his hand.

“Shhhh.” He said, a finger on his mouth as a shushing motion.

The walk back home was too short to his liking. Here in the streets, he could think in peace whereas in his home, his brother would probably do everything in his power to not let him do that. He loved his brother, really, he was everything to him, but he sometimes wished he knew what personal boundaries were.

More than once, his brother had nearly walked in on him jerking off in his room, because the idiot cannot knock on doors, which is why Daichi would mostly masturbate in the shower now. More than once, he had interrupted a very private conversation between him and Suga, because the idiot doesn’t know how to knock on doors. But he still loved that idiot. 

As he opened the door to his house, Daichi felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He removed his shoes, threw his keys on the table and went upstairs. He knocked on his brother’s door to see if he were here, and when he heard a small hum coming from inside the room he opened the door. 

His brother was laying on his bed, reading what seemed like one of the shojo manga he had gifted him for his birthday.

“What do you want to eat tonight?” The older boy asked as he leaned against the doorframe. 

“Anything but natto please.” He seemed weirdly invested in his book and didn’t want to bother him further so he left the room quietly.

It was still early, so he decided to take a quick shower before going back to his room. He still felt a bit hot down here. He still felt a bit hot down here because of Suga’s hand, Suga’s hand that had stayed on his thigh for no more than 2 minutes, but the sensations it gave him, they made him feel weirdly good. He even had to suppress a moan when he squeezed his thigh afterwards.

He didn’t have a crush on his best friend. Anyone who would feel someone’s hand on their thigh would feel a pooling of heat in their lower belly, crush or not. The thought of what Suga did with those hands didn’t help either. 

He made sure the bathroom door was closed and locked before stepping in the shower. He had wanted to make it quick but, his hands went down on his body unconsciously, and before he even knew it, his come was mixing itself with the water that was pooling at his feet.

He hated himself for doing that. He hated himself because he was jerking off to thoughts of his best friend, without him knowing. It did make him feel a little uneasy, a little sick even, which is why he had to stop it, as quickly as possible.

When he got out of the shower, he remembered he had received a text earlier that he forgot to check. When he unlocked his phone, he was met with a message from spikemyballs.

_spikemyballs (3:42PM) : hi!! we haven’t texted in a while sorry!_

We’ve been texting everyday for the past week and saw each other today he thought to himself. He still couldn’t believe Suga didn’t realise that his best friend was the one he was talking to, was captainthighs.

_captainthighs (4:28PM) : hi! it’s alright don’t worry, how are you doing?_

_spikemyballs (4:29PM) : i’m good!! i’m back in sendai and spent my day with my friends!! it was super nice, how about you ?:)_

_captainthighs (4:29PM) : i’m fine! pretty hot in sendai today wasn’t it?_

_spikemyballs (4:30PM) : yeah but it’s nothing compared to the tokyo heat aha_

Daichi remembers the Tokyo heat quite clearly. He remembers the training camps in his last year. He remembers running up and down the hill as the cicadas cried, eating watermelon with his teammates as well as the other teams. He remembers the barbecue they had on their last day of camp, too. Who would forget that day?

_spikemyballs (4:30PM) : haven’t seen you on my livestream in a long time :(_

He did feel bad for that. He felt guilty for going on the livestream but, he also felt guilty for not watching it. 

_captainthighs (4:31PM) : i’m sorry i was really busy!_

_captainthighs (4:31PM) : are you doing a live any time soon?_

_spikemyballs (4:32PM) : uhmm don’t know_

_spikemyballs (4:32PM) : miss watching me?_ （ _˶′_ ◡ _‵˶_ ）

He didn’t want to admit it, because he felt a bit disgusting about it, but he did miss watching him. Just seeing the reaction he had when Suga had touched him earlier, it was enough to tell that it was indeed due to all this.

_captainthighs (4:33PM) : aha kinda yeah_

_spikemyballs (4:33PM) : mmm_

He could almost hear the text.

_spikemyballs (4:36PM) : text me at 9 :) i thought of something you might like!_

_captainthighs (4:36PM) : oh ? alright okay_

Daichi didn’t know what spikemyba— Suga, had planned for him. He did look forward to it, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel a little scared. He knew that telling him about the issue was inevitable, he just needed to find the right time to do it. He knew that the more he lied, the more it would hurt.

Time went by painfully slow and he decided to start making some food for dinner. He opened the fridge, looked at what was in there and thought he could make tonkatsu. His brother loved tonkatsu. He put four portions of rice in the rice cooker (because his brother insisted he had to eat his three bowl of rice every day!!) and began cutting the pork. He cracked two eggs in a bowl and put bread crumbs and flour in two other bowls.

He coated the meat with flour, dipped it in eggs and then covered it with bread crumbs. It was still early so he didn’t cook it right away. 

As he was washing the dishes, he heard a loud noise coming from upstairs and a ‘ouch’ which definitely came out of Eijun’s room. He wiped his wet hands on his shorts and ran upstairs before knocking on his brothers door. “Eijun, you okay?”

He heard the sound of movement and shuffling about coming from inside the room and a quiet ‘shut up’. His brother opened the door, enough for him to peer his head out the doorway, and not enough for Daichi to see what was inside. “What is it?” His brother asked. 

He was panting and red in the cheeks and Daichi pretended he didn’t hear anything like two seconds ago. “I heard a loud noise so I wanted to see if you were ok.”

“Ah uhm I fell of my bed while reading, ahah silly me.” He scratched the back of his head and Daichi saw right through his lies.

“Can I come in?”

“No!” Daichi raised an eyebrow at him, lips tilted in amusement. “I’m uh… I’m naked.”

“First of all, I’ve seen you naked multiple times, to my deepest regret. And what were you doing naked?”

He honestly thought his brother’s head was going to explode if he asked one more question but he was truly having fun right now. “Erm… I was uh…” He was a stuttering mess and he muttered something under his breath.

“What?”

“I was masturbating.”

He didn’t know who would explode first, him or his brother. They both heard a small laugh coming from inside the room and as Eijun turned around to glare at the person who was there, Daichi took the chance to open the door a bit wider. 

He was met with an actually half-naked Eijun and a brown-haired boy who was in the same state of undress as his brother but who was wearing glasses. He probably, _no he definitely_ , was the one who laughed a few seconds ago.

“Uh…”

“Hi! You must be Eijun’s brother!” The boy said as he stood up from the floor and extended his hand. The younger boy was just standing in the middle of the room and glared at the two of them.

“Hi, uh yes I’m Daichi, and you are…?” He shook his hand and leaned against the doorway.

“Miyuki Kazuya, I’m one of Eijun’s teammates.”

“Teammate uh.” He did feel a bit embarrassed now. “How did you get in?”

“He climbed in through the window.” His brother said quietly, looking at the floor to avoid his gaze. His entire face and chest were red with embarrassment and he was sure he looked the same, the only person comfortable in this room being that Miyuki kid.

“I’ll go back downstairs and pretend that nothing ever happened.” He left the room and went back to the kitchen, sat on one of the stools, he could hear his brother and friend talk, a bit louder than earlier and he buried his face in his hands.

He couldn’t believe it. Not only had he almost interrupted his brother in the middle of what he guessed was a make out session, but he had also learned he liked boys, too.

He heard feet padding down the stairs and before he could register it, his brother sat down next to him, his friend wasn’t with him so he guessed he had left already. He looked up from his hands and watched as his brother bit his lip nervously. “Daichi I’m so-“

“Why are you apologising?”

“Aren’t you angry?” He asked and he avoided his older brother’s gaze.

“Why would I be?” He asked in return. Eijun furrowed his brows in confusion and opened his mouth, but no word came out. He closed his eyes, thought for a few seconds and spoke up.

“Because I like b-boys.” He stuttered. He could see the tip of his ears growing red in embarrassment. He didn’t want his brother to feel scared for liking boys. He didn’t want his brother to feel scared like he is.

“I’m more angry at the fact that your friend climbed in through the window than the fact you’re gay.” He said quietly before ruffling his brother’s hair. It was so rare to see anxiousness on his face, the boy was always so bright and cheerful, he reminded him of Suga.

“Oh… Ok. Still I wanted to apologise for inviting him over without telling you. And sorry you had to witness… that.” 

“I’ve seen you do more incriminating stuff.” He chuckled before receiving a light hit in the shoulder. “Hey!”

“You’re not gonna tell mom and dad are you?” 

“No because I know you’d do the same for me.” The two brothers looked at one another, one with amusement on his face and the other confusion.

“You’re-“

“Yeah.”

“Is it with Suga-san?” It was such an innocent question, really, and it could have been Suga, but it wasn’t.

“What? No.”

“Uhhh.” Daichi could tell he had something else on his mind.

“Spill.”

“Can I go to Miyuki’s? His grandma said I could have dinner with them and stay there for the night.” How could he say no to this face? And it was actually quite convenient for him, he still didn’t know what Suga had planned for him after all.

“Yes, sure.” He hadn’t even finished his short sentence that his brother was already on his feet and hugging him tightly. He wasn’t afraid of admitting it, he did miss his brother a lot when the younger boy wasn’t here. He missed the late night conversations they used to have, the pillow forts they used to build, the nights they spent in the basement playing video games until 2AM and trying to go back to their rooms as quietly as possible but always failing.

“Thank you.” The younger boy said before running off to his room. 

“Wear protection!” He said, loud enough for him to hear. All he got as an answer was a loud grunt and a ‘shut up’ from across the house.

It was 30 minutes later when he heard the rice cooker make a little ‘ding’ sound. He walked over to it and realised that there was definitely way too much food for him now. He put a portion of rice in a bowl for himself and made onigiris with the rice that was left.

As he finished making the onigiris, his brother walked down the stairs with a backpack and sat down in the genkan to put on his shoes. He put the onigiris in a box and handed it to Eijun. “Here, for his grandma.”

“Thank you!” He said with a huge smile. He stuffed the box in his backpack, tied his shoelaces and stood up. “See you tomorrow!” He fist-bumped his brother and left.

Daichi was now home-alone, waiting for his dick appointment at 9, if he could call it a dick appointment. He still wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

He needed to wait for two more hours, and he was a bit hungry. He cooked his meat, put it on top of the rice he cooked earlier and sat down in front of the TV. If his parents knew he was not eating on a table, he would probably get killed in an instant, so he had to be careful as to not let a single grain of rice fall either on the floor or on the beloved family couch.

Time actually went by quicker than expected, and when the clock struck 9PM, he went back to his room and sent a text to spikemyballs.

_captainthighs (9:00PM) : hey, i’m here!_

He didn’t have to wait for long as he received a text not even 20 seconds later.

_spikemyballs (9:00PM) : you’re extremely punctual_

_captainthighs (9:00PM) : you did say 9PM though…_

_spikemyballs (9:01PM) : aha you sound like a friend of mine. and i don’t mind! (*_ ≧▽≦ _)_ ﾉｼ

If only he knew that he was talking to the friend in question.

_spikemyballs (9:01PM) : anyway! what are your thoughts on sexting? ( ˘ ³˘)_

_captainthighs (9:02PM) : i’ve never… done it?_

_spikemyballs (9:02PM) : me neither! so how about we be each other’s first?_

Daichi almost- no he did, choke on his spit as he read the message. Should he really do this? He shouldn’t even have continued talking to him as soon as he knew who he really was, and now he felt even more unsure about his decisions. He just didn’t want Suga to be sad for losing a new friend.

He read the message over and over, as if it would change, as if it was just a dream and that he would wake up soon, but it wasn’t.

_spikemyballs (9:04PM) : i’m sorry we really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to! i understand you’d not want to do these kind of things with a stranger like me_

A stranger like him uh? If only he knew. He wished he knew. He wanted to tell him, he wanted to so bad, but maybe he should do so in front of him, and not over text? He honestly didn’t know what to do. 

He buried his face in his hands and thought about what to do for a few seconds. After weighing the pros and cons, he finally sent an answer.

_captainthighs (9:07PM) : let’s do it_

Well, there was no way he could go back now.

_spikemyballs (9:07PM) : ok!! uhm how about we get a safe word? like if we don’t feel comfortable let’s just… write that word and we can stop?_

That was actually clever. He didn’t know whether or not he would use it, but deep inside his brain he kind of hoped he wouldn’t. 

He felt something settling in his stomach, he didn’t know if it was nervousness or just plain teenaged horniness but, there definitely was something happening.

_spikemyballs (9:08PM) : how about shrimp?_

This was so very Suga.

_captainthighs (9:08PM) : aha yea sure_

_spikemyballs (9:08PM) : nice!_

_spikemyballs (9:09PM) : i think it’s gonna be a bit hard for me to imagine what you look like.. (_ ๑ _•́ω•̀_ ๑ _)_

He didn’t…?

_captainthighs (9:09PM) : you want… a picture of me?_

_spikemyballs (9:10PM) : oh god no! i mean i wouldn’t mind seeing your face but… maybe a pic of… down here…_

_spikemyballs (9:10PM) : you’ve seen my dick and i’ve never seen yours i think it’s fair!_

He had almost sent the word ‘shrimp’ right there. He guessed he could do it. He had never done that before, sexting or taking pictures of his dick, or just nudes in general.

He wasn’t uncomfortable with his body, let alone his dick. It was a bit bigger than average in size and he had always trimmed the hair right above it. It was nothing compared to the other man’s though. 

His looked pretty. It was probably a bit longer than his, not by much but still, but it was definitely thinner. He had seen it up close in the shower after practice, not that he had looked at it on purpose. He had just… seen it. He liked the blond trail of hair below his navel, the little blond almost silver tuft that was right above his cock. He hadn’t been on his lives in a long time, maybe he had trimmed them? He was kind of curious now.

He slid his fingers under the elastic waistband of his volleyball shorts and slid them down his legs, revealing his toned thighs. He wasn’t hard, yet. He put his hand in his boxers and started stroking his cock to full hardness, one, two, three times. Blood started pumping in his shaft, it hadn’t reached full hardness yet, but he knew that if he kept thinking about gross, porno things, he would achieve this state. 

He took his phone in his other hand, the one that wasn’t on his still-clothed dick and opened the camera app. It felt a bit weird, not only to see his cock on his screen, but also to take a pic for his best friend.

He squeezed the tip of his shaft through his underwear and when he deemed he was finally hard enough to take a pic, he removed his boxers. He leaned back against his seat, mouth twisted in slight disgust as he looked at his cock through his small iPhone screen.

He snapped a pic. Multiple ones even. He opened his gallery and picked the one that looked best, deleting the others from both his gallery and his ‘recently deleted’ folder, can’t be too careful.

He took a deep breath and sent the picture to Suga.

_spikemyballs (9:16PM) : i was wondering why captainthighs was your username and i think i got my answer ( ˘ ³˘)_

He felt the warmth of a blush crawl up his neck. The only person who ever complimented his body was Suga, and he kind of understood why now.

_spikemyballs (9:17PM) : [attached document]_

_spikemyballs (9:17PM) : look at what you’re doing to me…_

He waited for the picture to load but he already knew what was going to be on it. And when the picture finally loaded, he had actually been right.

On the picture was a cock, Suga’s cock to be precise. Standing proudly but missing the little tuft of hair that he had come to love. He couldn’t say that he was disappointed, because it truly was a sight, tuft or not.

_spikemyballs (9:18PM) : remember that tip you gave me when you first watched my live? when you told me to wet my thumb and rubbing my slit with it? i wish i could do it on that pretty cock of yours…_

Daichi let out a loud, nasal whine and wet his thumb, hollowing his cheeks around it as if it were a dick. He removed the digit from his mouth with a wet pop and started rubbing it against his cock head, slowly going over the small slit.

It was a bit awkward. Having to think about something equally as hot as what the other had just said. His brain was filled with horny thoughts, thoughts he shouldn’t be having about his best friend normally. But this wasn’t normal. He took another deep breath, through his nose this time and sent a text.

_captainthighs (9:19PM) : remember when i said i would lick your nipples? i wish i could do that right now. my tongue running over your chest as you let those hot tiny mewls that makes you sound like a slut._

He didn’t know what went through his brain when he wrote the word slut, but he did. And now he just wanted to delete the message but, the other had already seen it.

_spikemyballs (9:20PM) : i’m a slut_

He almost choked on his own spit.

_spikemyballs (9:20PM) : i’m so horny i feel like my dick is going to explode_

_captainthighs (9:21PM) : do that thing with your prostate and take a vid_

What was he doing? It was like someone else had taken control of his fingers.

_spikemyballs (9:21PM) : that thing with my prostate?_

_captainthighs (9:21PM) : that thing where you touch it externally…_

He didn’t know whether or not he would receive the video. But what he knew was that his cock was achingly-hard and that it needed to be touched. Preferably now. He spit into his own hand (he kind of felt disgusted by it but he was so desperate), closed his eyes and stroked his cock from base to tip.

He felt his phone buzz in his hand and was met with a video. He waited for it to load (why was his wifi being so shitty now) and let out a small gasp when he saw the thumbnail. He clicked on the play button and the first thing he heard was a small moan. 

He watched as the other coated his fingers with lube, tingly lube he noted, just like the one he has, and applied pressure on his perineum. He watched his toes curl with pleasure and his cock throbbing at the stimulation. He saw him tightening his grip on his bedsheets and he couldn’t help but squeeze his tip at the sight, shivering with relief. At the very end of the video, which didn’t last long if he had to be honest, he caught the sight of a small drop of precum, dribbling down his cock. He was getting way more turned on than he should be.

_spikemyballs (9:24PM) : i wish i could ride you_

He let out a loud moan as image of Suga riding him filled his brain.

He wondered how Suga felt like. How Suga looked like as he wrote those kind of things, as he jerked himself off. 

He couldn’t think straight right now (when did he ever think straight anyway). He couldn’t think of what to say, the only thing he could do was pumping his shaft. Up and down, up and down, again and again, sometimes squeezing the tip ever so slightly.

_captainthighs (9:26PM) : i would die if you did_

_spikemyballs (9:26PM) : you couldn’t handle my hips ;)_

_spikemyballs (9:27PM) : oh god i’m so close_

He didn’t want to admit it but, he was pretty close too. He opened his camera app and started recording a video of himself jerking off, grazing his tip with his thumb and cupping his balls. He tried not to let out any loud moans as he didn’t want Suga to notice who he really was. He gave himself a more firm stroke, and that was his tipping point. Droplets of cum landed right on his shirt and fist as he continued pumping his cock through his orgasm.

He rewatched the video before sending it, making sure the only noise that could be heard were only tiny whines and whimpers and not moan that would give himself out. He sent the video a minute later, and received a text not even a minute after that.

_spikemyballs (9:28PM) : that was… Hot_

_spikemyballs (9:29PM) fuck i’m spent and it’s only 9_

Daichi, like the gross teenager that he was, licked the rest of cum that was on his fist before pulling up his underwear. He removed his shirt and walked to the bathroom to put it in the laundry basket before replying to Suga. Hopefully his mother wouldn’t notice the stain or at least not ask him what it is.

_captainthighs (9:31PM) : me too_

_spikemyballs (9:31PM) : we should do that again_ (´▽`ʃƪ)

Daichi swallowed, hard, as he read the message. They couldn’t keep this up. As he was typing his answer, the other man sent another message, which made his heart throb in an unpleasant way.

_spikemyballs (9:32PM) : actually.. i thought that maybe we could meet.. we’re both from sendai, we’re the same age and we even have common interests!_

_spikemyballs (9:32PM) : i mean only if you want to of course! and we don’t have to do anything sexual just.. get to know each other is fine.._

He didn’t know whether or not he should say yes. He could say no, and as Suga said, he didn’t mind if he said no. But he also could say yes. Yes meant revealing his identity, yes meant letting Suga know who he had been texting this whole time. 

 _captainthighs_ _(9:33PM) : sure sounds good, i’d love to_

Lies. He felt a bit nervous. He felt a sick, worried feeling in the pit of his stomach.

_spikemyballs (9:33PM) : great!! when are you free? i’m free pretty much everyday so!_

_captainthighs (9:34PM) : is thursday afternoon ok for you? there’s a café next to tohoku university, it’s pretty nice_

Thursday was in three days. He was working on Tuesday and Wednesday. He wished he could see him as quickly as possible, end those lies before they got even bigger (they were pretty big lies right now when he thought about it).

_spikemyballs (9:35PM) : mm sure! is 3pm ok for you? :)_

_spikemyballs (9:36PM) : hopefully i won’t see any of my friends that’d be awkward_

_captainthighs (9:36PM) : aha yeah_

If only he knew.

_spikemyballs (9:36PM) : i should go!! i’m literally… sexhausted_

_spikemyballs (9:37PM) : goodnight :))) thank you again for tonight ( *¯ ³¯*)_ ♡

_captainthighs (9:37PM) : night!_

Daichi turned off his phone, went back to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, he couldn’t even smile. He watched as tears rolled down his face, slowly, he knew they were tears and not water, he could feel his eyes sting with the pain. He took a deep breath, looked at his reflection again and mentally said ‘You can do it, I know you can’. He had said that to his best friend. Why couldn’t he believe in his own words?

 

* * *

 

The two days went by quicker than expected, to Suga’s liking. His feelings were a mix of nervousness and excitement. What if he actually knew this person ? What if they didn’t click, only got along when texting? What if it was too awkward between the two of them?

But at the same time, what if they got along, became friends and maybe more? 

He had been standing in front of his wardrobe for what felt like hours (and it actually had been hours), trying to find an outfit he could wear. The sky had a threatening aura to it, a rainstorm had been announced for the end of the afternoon and he hoped that the rain wouldn’t start falling until the end of his date, if it was a date. He still didn’t know if he had to be honest with himself.

He took a pair of black, high waisted jeans from his wardrobe, examining them before deeming that they would be good for his not-really-a-date thing. He pulled the white shirt from his Karasuno summer uniform out of his wardrobe, putting it on and being actually surprised that it still fitted. He grabbed the maroon trench coat that Daichi had gifted him for his 16th birthday from its hanger on the door and put it on his bed with the other clothes he had picked.

When he opened his underwear drawer, he didn’t know whether or not he should wear some nice ones, just in case. He didn’t want to seem greedy. But, it’s not like he had something to lose if he wore something nice, right?

He looked through his drawer and found the cream, lacy panties that he had worn once for one of his livestream. He remembers the first time he had worn them, it felt incredibly uncomfortable but, eventually, he got used to the tight fabric against his junk, and the fact that it covered basically nothing. He also remembers going to the shop with Oikawa to buy them, the brunette didn’t know he was a camboy but if there was a person he could tell, that person would be him. 

He wasn’t embarrassed of talking to him about anything sex related. There was little to no shame left in between them anyway, Oikawa telling him about the ‘sexcapades’ he and Iwaizumi had whenever he went back home or Iwaizumi visited him. He had also been the one to tell him about that prostate stimulation thing. Even if they used to be rivals, Suga knew Oikawa was someone he could trust, and he was right. He had never said a word to anyone about him being gay or about his crush on Daichi, which was probably his biggest secret. 

He got snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a small scratching noise behind his door. He stood up and opened it, revealing his cat. The cat entered the room and jumped on the bed, before settling on Suga’s clothes. 

“Jiji no!” He said as he ran towards his bed to remove the cat from his clothes. The cat hissed a little but eventually let himself be dropped on the floor, trotting to the small cat bed at the foot of Suga’s own bed.

He crouched down in front of him and pet his head gently. He truly was fond of his cat, it was probably one of the things he missed the most in Tokyo; having a pet. He did have plants, but it wasn’t the same. He hadn’t had Jiji for a while, they got him two years ago after his parents’ divorce, he remembers finding the small kitten near the trash outside their house after school and bringing him home. Daichi had been the one naming him Jiji, after the cat from Kiki’s delivery service (the dork loved that movie). The months after the divorce had been rough, but having a cat had helped a lot. 

Suga stood up again and started undressing, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His mom had been right, he did lose some weight while in uni. He looked a bit slender and pale, maybe he should take Daichi’s offer of going running together? 

He put on his pants, tucked his shirt into them and folded his coat before putting it in his tote bag. He kissed the top of his cat’s head before heading downstairs, putting his shoes on hastily. He left in a hurry, not because he was late, he was sure he would be at the meeting place earlier than he should be by at least 20 minutes, he just knew his mom would come back home soon and he didn’t want her to see him all dressed up. He was sure she would say something like ‘Meeting one of your girlfriends?’ or something, which was just embarrassing to say the least.

He arrived at the cafe 10 minutes later, since he was way too early he decided to order an iced americano. He sat outside the cafe, the air still threatening but it seemed like it wouldn’t rain for another hour or two. He sipped on his drink and watched as people walked by, checking his phone every once in a while to see if captainthighs sent him a text or not. He was a bit disappointed to see he didn’t, but the stranger must be on his way, right?

“Hey Suga.” The familiar voice said, Suga couldn’t help but smile when he recognised it, looking up from his phone as he did so.

“Daichi! Hi! What are you doing here?” He knew he was blushing, probably because Daichi was right in front of him and he had thought about him quite a lot these past few days. Or maybe he was blushing because Daichi was here and his date would be here soon too. 

“Errr…” Suga watched as the other man brought his hand to the back of his neck. Weird. “Just walking around town before the storm hits. Can I sit here?” Suga nodded, a small hesitation in the movement.  “What about you?” He asked as he sat down in the chair opposite of him.

“I’m waiting for a friend!” 

“Oh, do I know him?” Why was he being so weird? Maybe he saw the blush? He definitely saw the blush. But, maybe he understood why he blushed? He saw him playing with his fingers, tapping his fingernails on the metal table. Maybe something had happened?

“Suga?”

“Yes! Sorry uhm, he lives here but I met him in Tokyo.” Daichi hummed. Did he see right through his lie?

“Uh Suga-“ A phone ring. 

There was an incoming call, from his mom. “Wait sorry it’s my mom.”

When he brought his phone to his ear, the first thing he heard was a small sob. “Koushi!”

“What is it? Are you ok?” He started getting worried, he brought his nails to his mouth, not biting them, but he needed to feel them under his teeth. 

“Jiji climbed up the tree when he heard thunder earlier and he won’t come down!” She took a sharp breath, Suga did too. “I’m scared the storm might hit before he climbs down!” 

He looked at the sky; maybe the storm might hit before he had planned it. “I’ll be here in 5 minutes!” He heard another small sob coming from his mother’s mouth before hanging up. He finished his drink swiftly, stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. 

“Did something happen?” Daichi asked, a worried tone to his voice. He stood up as well before gripping the ashen-haired man by the arm. 

“My cat climbed up the tree and won’t come down, last time this happened he stayed there for 12 hours but there’s the storm and… yeah.” He sputtered. 

“I’ll come with you.” He smiled, it was warm and he couldn’t help but smile back. 

He stopped dead in his tracks and considered sending a message to captainthighs. He would probably not be able to meet him, which sucked honestly. He clicked on the camboy app, and sent a text to the stranger.

_spikemyballs (2:52PM) : hi! i’m really sorry but something came up and i have to go home and i’m pretty sure the storm is gonna hit before i’m done with that so… yeah.. i’m really sorry if you’ve already left your place!!!_

He didn’t receive an answer right away and chewed on his lips nervously. “Who’re you texting?” His friend asked.

“My friend. I’m telling him we can’t meet up.” He tried his hardest not to look down, but he couldn’t help but be a little sad in the inside.

“Ah, I see.”

“What did you want to say earlier? Before my mom called?” He asked after a few minutes of silence, they had almost reached his house, they didn’t quite run, but they did walk pretty fast.

“Uhm.” He slowed down a bit, looking down at his feet. 

“Daichi?”

“Wanna have dinner at my place tonight?” He received a small hit in the shoulder. “Hey!”

“I thought one of your family member died or something!” He cried out. 

“What? No!” 

“I don’t know you’re being all fidgety and stuff, you got me worried.”

“Sorry. I take you hitting me in my shoulder as a no then?” He chuckled and smiled, it truly was contagious. Daichi’s smile always put him in a good mood.

“Shut up dork, of course I’ll have dinner with you!” He stopped as they reached the front of Daichi’s house. “Go, I’ll take care of my cat don’t worry.” 

“A’ight, try to be there before the storm hits.” He said as he waved goodbye, Suga replying with one of his iconic thumbs up.

 

* * *

 

Sawamura Daichi was a loser. Sawamura Daichi was a loser because he couldn’t say the truth to his best friend. All he could do was lie, even though he swore he was a bad liar.

The first thing he did when he entered his house was lean against the door and look at his phone. He had felt it buzz in his back pocket earlier. He felt a ping of guilt wash over him as he read the text. He could tell Suga was upset he had to come back home. Would he had been more upset if he had told him who he really was?

He texted him back, another lie, he didn’t even count them anymore.

_captainthighs (3:03PM) : it’s ok! hope it wasn’t too bad._

He felt the door being opened against his back and almost dropped his phone. He turned around and opened it wider, only to reveal his parents with their suitcases.

“Hey.”

“I’m surprised the house didn’t burn down!” His dad said, followed by a small ‘ouch’, his mother jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Wow I’m surprised the plane didn’t crash.” He grinned before receiving a small punch in the ribs as well. “I have been attacked.” He faked hurt, setting a hand over his heart.

“Anyway, did you go out?” His mother said, removing her shoes in the genkan. 

“Yeah. Suga is having dinner with us by the way.”  

“Ah we haven’t seen him in a long time! Is he staying over for the night?” 

He actually haven’t asked that. Maybe he should? He wondered if he would stay, even after telling him the truth. “I’ll ask him.” He smiled before going back to his room.

To : Suga

Thu 1 Aug, 3:11 PM

_wanna sleep over tonight?_

Seeing that Suga hadn’t seen his text after five minutes, he plugged in his phone and went to the bathroom to take a shower. He tried his hardest as to not masturbate, thinking about the grossest things he could think off to let his erection die down.

He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist when he got out of the shower, looking quickly at his reflection in the mirror. He looked kind of awful, he rubbed his stubble-roughed jaw and decided that maybe he needed to shave. He got his razor and shaving cream out of the cabinet before applying it on his skin, he slowly but carefully shaved the little hairs on his chin and jaw, making sure not to cut himself. He remembers the first few times he shaved, it had been a mess but, he got the hang of it now. 

He thought he could put on some aftershave, not that he was putting it on for Suga. Not at all. It just made him feel good, and the scent was quite nice. 

He went back to his bedroom, closing the door with his foot before sitting down on his bed. He saw his phone screen light up and saw he had a couple of missed texts, two from Suga, one from Iwaizumi and one from spikemyballs.

He clicked on Suga’s text and smiled at his answer. Why did it put him in such a good mood? Suga had slept over at his place plenty of times before.

From : Suga

Thu 1 Aug 3:17PM

yes sure :D

jiji just came down so i’ll prepare my bag and i should be there soon!

To : Suga

Thu 1 Aug 3:29PM

ok sure!

He opened the camboy app and saw that Suga was typing something, his smile turned into a deep frown as he read the freshly-sent text.

_spikemyballs (3:18PM) : nothing too bad. my cat climbed up a tree so i tried to get him to come down. he’s fine now :)_

_spikemyballs (3:30PM) : actually… i don’t think meeting each other is a good idea…_

Why would Suga think that? It seemed like he trusted him, right?

_captainthighs (3:31PM) : oh ? why?_

He received an answer right away.

_spikemyballs (3:31PM) : you see.. there is someone that i like a lot.. and uhm i plan on confessing soon i guess? we can still be friends of course! i just.. think it would be weird maybe if we met?_

Did Daichi knew who that person was? The person that Suga had a crush on?

_captainthighs (3:32PM) : i see! it’s totally alright!_

_spikemyballs (3:32PM) : i’m really sorry again :(_

_spikemyballs (3:33PM) : ah i should go! i’ll text you tomorrow?_

Hopefully Daichi would find the guts to tell him the truth and they wouldn’t have to talk on this god-forsaken app tomorrow.

captainthighs (3:33PM) : sure :)

He opened the text app again and couldn’t help but laugh when he opened Iwaizumi’s text; they had sworn to each other they would send pictures of dogs whenever they saw one, and the picture he had just sent was of Oikawa, lying down on the grass with a disgusted look on his face as a big, fluffy dog licked his cheek. 

He had always wondered what it would be like to be dating his best friend. Would the relationship change? Or would it stay the same, just the fact they could now kiss and have sex being the only change? 

It’s not like he wanted to know what it was like. He didn’t want to date Suga. No. Not at all. Suga didn’t like him that way anyway.

“Suga-chan hi! Come in! Daichi is in his room.” He heard his mom say from downstairs. He plugged in his phone and scratched his belly before standing up. 

He felt the towel that was hanging around his waist pool at his feet and remembered that he had been too busy replying to Suga’s texts to dress up and now he was naked and he could hear Suga downstairs so he had to be _quick_.

He tied the towel around his waist (just in case) and looked around his wardrobe for a pair of volleyball shorts and a shirt. He remembered that the last pair of short he had were in the laundry basket that was in the bathroom, bathroom that was opposite his room and he was sure that if he walked out of his room Suga would be right _there_.

He took a shirt and a clean pair of boxer shorts before walking towards his door, it’s not like Suga hadn’t seen half naked before right? And here he was, standing in front of his door fist in the air as he was about to knock on his door. He could feel Suga’s eyes on his body and he couldn’t help but blush at that and when he looked back at his best friend’s face, he saw that he was blushing too. “I’m sorry I was about to knock and-“

“It’s ok! I’ll-I’ll just go to the bathroom? Take my clothes?” Why did he make it sound like a question? He was such an idiot.

“I’ll wait for you in your room t-then.” Did he hear him stutter? Was he flustered? 

He closed the bathroom door behind him and let out a small sigh. Why was he being so awkward? He removed his towel and looked at his middle and let out a distressed noise. Of all the time he could have been hard, now truly wasn’t the time. Why was his body not cooperating with his mind? He put on his underwear and volleyball shorts, looking at his reflection in the mirror to see if people could see his bulge, and he thanked the lord when he saw that it was barely visible. He put on his shirt and splashed some cold water on his face before going back to his room. 

“Sorry for that.” He said before sitting down on his chair. The other man’s cheeks were still red, and he was sure that if he hadn’t put water on his face he would look the same.

“No it’s ok I should have told you I was leaving my house.” 

‘I knew that already.’ He could have said. And maybe he could say. Preferably now. He looked towards his door and saw that it was still wide open. Maybe not now. “It’s alright. Wanna go downstairs and watch a movie while we wait for dinner?” His brain was unconsciously buying some more time.

The older boy nodded and stood up, following Daichi as they went to the living room. Daichi could feel Suga’s gaze on his back as he was looking for a movie they could watch. He had to keep things PG-rated since his parents were literally right in the kitchen, five meters away from the TV. “Have you seen Pacific Rim?” He asked as he turned around, showing the other boy the dvd case.

“I have, at least 3 times with you.” He stood up from the couch and sat down next to Daichi, looking through the cabinet that was filled with movies. They had seen a lot of movies together and only rewatched them when they couldn’t fall asleep but were too tired to search for a movie. Suga took one of the dvd box in his hand and showed it to him, a huge smile on his face. 

“Kimi no na wa?”

“You always say we should watch it! I haven’t seen it yet.” He handed him the box.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes! Why?” He took the box out of his hands, fingers brushing against his, and opened it, removing the cd from it and putting it in the dvd player.

“You’re probably gonna cry.” He said as he stood up, extending his hand to his best friend before sitting down on the couch.

“Well if I cry you’re probably gonna cry too so.” Suga said with a shit-eating grin. Suga put his legs over his lap and he had to contain the flush that was threatening to spread.

“I don’t cry when I watch movies.”

“Sure.”

Two hours later and Daichi and Suga were both a weeping mess. Suga was the first one to cry, when Taki finds out the city he had been looking for had been wiped out, three years ago. Daichi couldn’t have helped but grin at him, handing him the box of tissue. Daichi eventually cried too at the end and Suga just laughed at him. 

The rain started falling eventually too, it was just a slight drizzle at first, but the news had announced there would be a thunderstorm later that evening, around 8.

Daichi had to be honest, he hated thunderstorms. Thunderstorms always meant loud noises and often power outages. He hated summer for one thing and it was this. (And the heat, he hated it).

“How’s life in Tokyo ?” Daichi’s mother asked when they all sat down to have dinner. She had cut up an entire watermelon and prepared cold noodle, their favourite summer dish.

“I thought it would be harder to adapt to the city life but it was actually quite easy.” He slurped one of his noodles. “The hardest thing I think was finding a job but I actually got the job I wanted, I’m starting in September so that’s really nice.” Suga flashed her a soft smile, eyes crinkling in the corner.

Daichi thought about it for a few seconds, so he got a job huh? Would that mean he would keep being a camboy? Or would he stop?

“Why didn’t you tell me!”

“I guess I forgot.” Daichi watched as Suga brought his hand to the back of his neck.

When they all finished their food, Daichi and Suga stayed in the kitchen and washed the dishes. He knew Suga hated doing the dishes, especially when he touched bits of wet food that were still on the plate, so he told him to dry the dishes while he washed them. He watched as his parents sat down on the couch and turned on the tv, watching some random japanese drama that just started. 

He could tell the thunderstorm was getting closer and closer, the sound between each lightning strike being heard not too long after it hit. It started as long and low rumbles of thunder but were now sharp and loud cracks. The TV screen soon turned off along with all the lights in the house. 

“Fuck!” He didn’t see who had said that but he guessed it was his dad. 

“Well guess we won’t be watching TV tonight then.” His mom turned on the flashlight on her phone and walked to her bedroom. “Goodnight boys, try not to stay up all night.” 

“Goodnight.” The two boys said in unison and they were soon plunged back into the darkness of the room. He felt a small tap on his shoulder and turned around, as if he could see his friend’s face in the dark. 

“Should we go in your room too?” Suga asked. He could feel his friend’s breath against his skin, why was Suga so close to him?

“Yes sure.”

“I don’t have my phone.” 

“Me neither. Give me your hand.” He heard the ashen-haired boy let out a small noise and felt a second later a hand gripping at his wrist before entwining his fingers with his.

Why was he blushing so hard? He hoped his friend’s couldn’t feel his hand becoming moist and his heart beating faster. They climbed up the stairs slowly but carefully, hands still joined together as they reached his room. Suga let go of his hand to take what he guessed was his phone and turned on the flashlight, shivering slightly at the loss. 

He watched as the other looked through his bag to find something he could sleep in, he was still wearing the outfit he had earlier and it did make him smile to see his best friend wearing the coat he had gifted him a few years ago.

“Could you hold the flashlight while I get changed in the bathroom?” He asked, looking up at him through his long blond lashes. Suga’s hair was reflecting the phone’s flashlight. Strands of usually grey hair now looking silver.

“Yeah sure.” They walked to the bathroom together and Daichi waited outside, back against the wall and phone in hand. 

He had to tell the truth to Suga. He had to tell him tonight. He could already feel a lump forming at the back of his throat, he hoped he would actually manage to tell him and not be interrupted like last time.

He turned around and looked inside the room to see if his friend was done, did he just catch a glimpse of a cream-coloured underwear that was definitely not a boxer? He felt his face heat up in a blush and made eye contact with his friend. “You done?” 

“Ah yeah.” Daichi handed him his phone back and went back to his room, pulling the futon from under his bed and handing Suga a pillow and bedsheets. He sat down on his own bed and watched as lightning lit up his room every once in a while and thought about how to tell Suga what he knew.

It wasn’t easy. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy and that Suga would probably be mad at him and it was his own fault. He should have stopped going on his lives as soon as he knew who he was, stopping the lies before they got too big.

He laid down on his bed and let out a small sigh that he hadn’t intended to let out. 

“You’ve been looking a bit down ever since I came back.” He felt the mattress dip next to him and pushed himself up to look at him more clearly. He could barely see the expression he was sporting right now but he could tell just by his voice and the way he was gripping at his sheets that he was worried.

“Ah.” What did he mean by ‘Ah’? He just sounded stupid right now.

“Is there something you need to talk about?”

“Actually yes.” He admitted as he sat up against the headboard. He looked at his friend for any change of expression but was quite surprised to see he was still between relaxed and worried. He looked up at his ceiling, trying his hardest to avoid his friend’s gaze and continued. “I know… uhm about you.”

He heard a small laugh. Uh? 

“About me?”

Should he tell him he knew he was a camboy, or tell him he was (is?) captainthighs? The choice wasn’t evident but he guessed the latter would be best. At least he would be telling the truth. The whole truth.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. You can do this, I know you can. “I’m captainthighs.”

Silence. Unbearable silence was dawning on them and all Daichi saw when lightning lit up his room for a couple of seconds was the fear crawling on Suga’s face.

He was wearing an expression he had never seen on his face before. Was it truly fear? Sadness? Anger? Or a mix of all three?

There was a loud rumble and another strike of lightning and he caught Suga’s lips tremble. That simply won’t do.

“I should go.” He whispered and he knew that if he spoke louder his voice would probably crack.

“There’s a thunderstorm outside, Suga.” He felt the weight of Suga’s body beside him leave and tried to hold onto whatever he found, which wasn’t easy in the dark. He heard Suga zip up his bag and he stood up hastily, trying to stop him from leaving his house in these conditions. 

He grabbed his arm before Suga could open the door. “Suga.”

“Let me go.” 

“You’re not going outside right now, Koushi!” He held onto his arm with more force, his nails probably digging crescent into the other’s skin. 

“I said let go of me!” A sharp slap stung his cheek and he let go of his arm. 

Another lightning strike lit up his room and all he could see was dread on Suga’s face and a small and barely noticeable tear rolling down his left cheek, right where his mole was.

He stared blankly at the wall in the hallway and wondered if he should follow him. He was mad, that was understandable. What was not was him leaving even though there was a _fucking_ thunderstorm outside. By the time he made up his mind and decided to go downstairs, he heard the front door open and close and all he could do was sit down in the stairs and think about what do to. 

“What the fuck did I get myself into.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We should have a party."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of different POV in this chapter!!! I really liked writing it, hope you'll enjoy it too!!!! Thank you ken once again for proofreading.. you rock!

 

That night he hadn’t slept a wink. Not because of the thunderstorm, but because he kept replaying what happened the night before.

He knew it would have happened at one point or another anyway, but he still felt upset. He knew it was his own fault, too. It could have been avoided, right from the start, but he didn’t. All for his own little pleasure and he just felt _blue_.

When he heard the sound of the kettle downstairs, the birds chanting outside and saw the slight ray of sun shining through his blinds, he knew it was already morning. He thought he should wait for his parents to leave the house before leaving his bedroom, but before he could even register it, he heard a small knock on his door. Daichi never woke up late and his mom would always knock on his door before leaving to see if he was awake.

He hummed instinctively and looked at the door opening slightly, his mother’s head peering out of the doorway. She didn’t even look surprised when she looked at the empty futon next to Daichi’s bed and came to sit next to Daichi who was now sitting against the headboard.

“I thought Suga-chan was supposed to sleep here.” She said as she stroked her son’s cheek. His eyes were all puffy either from the lack of sleep or the fact he had cried all night. He looked and felt miserable. 

He had to lie, again. He couldn’t tell his mom he and Suga fought. That Suga left his house in the thunderstorm because her son was a stupid, selfish prick.

“He told me he felt sick, I told him he should stay here but he said he would be better at his place.” He lied. He was a professional now anyway. Might as well keep lying.

“Did you at least walk him home?”

“Yes of course.” He smiled, but it was a weak, fake one.

She ruffled his hair, kissed his forehead and stood up. 

“You should try to get some rest and then see how he’s feeling.” 

He knew he wouldn’t get any sleep but he still hummed and watched as she left the room. His parents weren’t particularly quiet in the morning so he waited until he heard the front door opening and the calm being restored in the house before leaving his bed.

The first thing he did was walk to the bathroom and look at his reflection in the mirror. He knew he probably looked like shit, but he didn’t think it would be _that_ bad. His hair looked awful, probably because of his mother’s ruffling, but also because he kept rolling around his bed all night. His clothes were all wrinkled. He splashed some water on his face and noticed the blood at the corner of his nails. He hadn’t felt like this in a while. No, he had _never_ felt like this actually. 

He saw a silver bracelet with a small, engraved ‘Koushi’ next to the sink. At least he had an excuse to see him. He put it around his wrist so he wouldn’t forget about it the next time he would see him.

He went downstairs quietly and opened the fridge for something to eat. He wasn’t hungry. He considered going to Suga’s place now. His mother would probably have left, and he was pretty sure his best friend (did he still consider him his best friend?) would be awake, too.

He was still in his volleyball shorts and night shirt, but he didn’t bother getting changed and instead put on his shoes. When he stepped outside, the air was sticky and humid. It was only 8 and yet, it was already 27 degrees, the sun was out, which was rare for an August morning.

When he arrived at Suga’s home, his curtains were drawn, which was unusual. The boy would always have his curtains open, day or night. He liked being woken up by natural light.

As he was about to knock on the door, the door opened and he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed to see it wasn’t Suga but his mother. 

“Oh Daichi-kun, you’re up early.” She said with a smile. 

He felt kind of awkward, like she knew something was up. “Ah… yes… Is Suga awake?”

“He’s been locked in his room since he came back home yesterday, he told me he felt a little sick and it seemed like he was still sleeping when I checked on him this morning.” 

Well at least they told their mothers the same lies. 

“I told him he could stay at my place, at least wait for the storm to pass but he insisted. I just wanted to make sure he made it home safe.”

“Ah I see. Well, I’ll tell him you came by, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know!” He laughed internally. He was sure he would be _delighted_ to know. 

“It’s alright! Have a good day Sugawara-San.” He smiled and left with a wave of his hand. 

When he came back home, he thought it would be best to text Suga. He knew seeing him was impossible, that he probably wouldn’t want to talk to him. But maybe he would answer his text?

To : Suga

Fri 2 Aug 8:17AM

Hey Suga, can we please talk?

The text remained seen but unanswered.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hearing his voice, seeing his text, all of these made him feel sick. Maybe he had overreacted. Maybe they should just talk about it. But he felt so ashamed.

His best friend had discovered he was a camboy. His best friend knew he was gay. His best friend probably knew he had a crush on him.

He waited until he heard the sound of his mom’s car driving away and stood up, comforter tightly wrapped around his body. It was warm inside his house, and even warmer under the comforter but it was welcomed. It felt like he needed the heat around him. Needed to feel comfort and reassurance. 

He knew it was childish not to reply to Daichi. Leaving him on read. But he couldn’t find the courage to reply. And he knew that if he did reply he would just spill his guts.

Should he talk to someone? He couldn’t speak to Daichi anymore. Asahi was a big no. Not only because he probably would tell everything to Daichi (there was nothing he didn’t know anyway), but also because he would be as ashamed to tell Asahi than when Daichi discovered his secret. He guessed he could call Oikawa. He could tell anything to Oikawa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He felt lips pressing against the back of his neck, wet bites on his shoulders and legs tangled around one of his calves. He felt something against his butt too. A rock hard, unclothed dick he (correctly) guessed.

“Well good morning to you too.”

Another bite on his shoulder. Grinding against his ass that tore a small moan out of him. He liked waking up to this.

“What are your thoughts on morning sex?” The voice asked, that morning voice of his making him feel a little hot down there. 

“I wouldn’t say no to it.” He hadn’t even finished his sentence that big, calloused hands were already roaming his body, lips nipping at the sensitive skin at the back of his ear, one of his most erogenous zones.

He felt the warm body behind him shift, whining at the loss and before he could register it, something wet was pressing up against his entrance, he tightened his grip on his pillow as the wet muscle breached him.

“H-Hajime!” He cried out. He didn’t know if his parents already left, and he honestly hoped they did because they would have probably, no definitely, heard that.

The other man spread his cheeks wider to get more access. Mornings with Iwaizumi always started like this, soft kisses that grew more daring and eventually one of them going down on the other. He wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

When Iwaizumi started sucking on his hole, he felt a small buzzing sound beside him. 

“Ooh naughty.” He breathed out and Iwaizumi reappeared from beneath the sheets.

“That wasn’t me.” They both frowned and after a few seconds the buzzing stopped. The brunette patted the space beside him to find the object behind the noise. 

“Ding ding.” He said as he found his phone under his mountain of pillows (who even needed five pillows to sleep anyway) and checked his notifications. He had a few twitter notifications, some text from his friends and a missed call from Suga. ‘Suga can wait’ he thought internally before throwing his phone on top of the pile of clothes next to his bed. 

Iwaizumi flashed him a grin and they were all over each other again, a mess of tangled limbs in the middle of Oikawa’s bed.

He heard the sound of lube being uncapped and stopped Iwaizumi’s hand before he could squirt some on his fingers. “Just hurry up, I don’t need prep.”  

“Hmmm I know.” He watched with hungry eyes as Iwaizumi coated his cock with a generous amount of lube (he liked it when it hurts but not too much, not having enough lube just felt like being ripped open, and he didn’t want to feel that, ever again.)

He could feel Iwaizumi’s lubbed up, cold tip pressing against his hole and when he finally entered him, he couldn’t help but let out a small squeak. Ok maybe he should have gotten prepped up, because ouch. He wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck and shivered when his cock almost slipped out of his hole.

The room was filled with all sort of sounds, squeaking from the bed and moans coming from their mouth, the sound of buzzing, too.

He lifted his head from his pillow to look at his phone screen; a call from Suga. Maybe he should answer? 

“Tooru.”

He extended his arm to grab his phone that was still on the floor and dropped it again when Iwaizumi bit at his nipple. “Hey!”

“I swear to god if you answer your phone while I’m fucking yo-“

He grabbed his phone again and brought it to his ear. “Hi Kou-chan!” 

Iwaizumi gave him a deadpanned look and thrusted into him, hard and he had to suppress a whimper.

“Hey Oikawa, I was wondering if you were free today?” The other boy asked, the usual cheerfulness in his voice gone. 

“Y-yeah I’m free this afternoon!” He looked at his boyfriend whose eyebrows were drawn together in a frown. “What it’s true!” He exclaimed as he put his hand over the speaker.

“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you I really shouldn’t have called. I’ll call back later.” 

Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi off of him and they both winced when his cock slipped out of his hole. “You’re not bothering me! Iwa-chan is just being annoyi- Ah! Stop biting me!” 

“Tooru, please hung up the phone.” He said as he continued littering his body with more bite marks, tongue flicking over the indents his teeth left behind.

“Meet me at the café near Seijoh at 2!” 

“A-Alright, I’m sorry for interrupting you, say hi to Iwaizumi-san from me.” He couldn’t see the other’s face but he was sure it was flushed with embarrassment. 

“Suga said hi.” He said with a smile as he squished his boyfriend’s cheek. He knew he hated it, but he just liked messing around with him.

Iwaizumi laid down on Oikawa’s chest and played with his fingers for a few seconds. 

“Why did you answer your phone?” Iwaizumi was whining. It was adorable.

“I think something bad happened… He never calls me. He hates having to call people.” He admitted, tangling his fingers in Iwaizumi’s hair in a reassuring way. He felt a little worried. He hadn’t known Suga personally for a long time, but he knew he never acted this way. This way being sad and evasive. Pessimistic even. He was just like him after all. Trying his hardest not to show anyone that gloomy side of him.

“So I guess we’re not staying inside all day to have sex then?” He said as he peppered Oikawa’s stomach with kisses, tongue tracing his happy trail, going inside his navel as he watched him squirm in his hold. 

“Hmm, you’re still hard.” 

“Wow, I wonder why.” Iwaizumi was always angry when he got cock-blocked (who wouldn’t be), but the brunette always knew how to make up for it.

“Don’t be so grumpy Iwa-chan…” He whispered and grabbed his ass. “I can suck you off if you want?”

“I wouldn’t say no to it.” He smirked, repeating his boyfriend’s previous words.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So long story short, you’re a camboy and your best friend slash crush slash the guy you want to get fucked by found out and had been talking to you on that website for the past two months?” He said before taking a long sip of his sugary drink.

Oikawa had met up with Suga at 2PM, just as planned, right after having the best fuck of his life (Iwaizumi never disappointed him when it came to sex).

“Don’t be so loud!” He whispered as he looked around suspiciously. “But yes that’s what happened.”

Telling Oikawa wasn’t as embarrassing as he thought it would be. He was relieved really. He couldn’t lose another friend. Not again.

“So do you actually plan on meeting up with him?” 

“Meet up with him just so he can tell me some half assed apologies? Hell no.” He took a sip of his drink and leaned back in his seat. 

“If he did all those things with you, while knowing it was you, that must mean he’s gay right? You should be relieved.” 

“Daichi? Gay?” He huffed, causing the hair on his forehead to fly up. “Don’t make me laugh, he’s all over Michimiya, I hate it. I just feel like shit.”

Oikawa hummed, more of a noise made in acknowledgement than anything. “Do you feel like shit because he knows or because you don’t plan on making up with him?”

He sighed loudly. He didn’t even know if he had to be honest. He just felt childish for behaving this way. He could just make up with him, they had been inseparable for the past 3 years. They had never fought in those 3 years. It just felt wrong not to be around Daichi. 

“I don’t know.” He was trying to hold back tears, and they eventually spilled. “I-I just don’t want to be away from him but just looking at him, thinking of him, I feel disgusted.” He sobbed. He felt a hand around his own, and fingers entwining with his. He looked up from the table, only to see Oikawa with a small, weak smile.

“You’ve got one month to think about it, then we’re leaving again. I don’t want to make this choice for you, this choice only belongs to you.” He said in his captain voice, he had always wondered why his high-school team was so put together. He knew the reason now. 

“You seem to care for him, and maybe you need time, maybe you don’t. Think about it, because once you’ve made that decision, I’m not sure you’ll be able to go back.”  He squeezed his hand tighter. It felt nice. Maybe he just wished that someone else was holding his hand. Short-cropped black hair, brown eyes that could make you fall in love just by looking at them (and they did). Someone he wished he didn’t hate this very instant. 

He wished he could cry, cry it all out and get it over with. But it was like even his sobs were stuck in his throat. A knot forming that cannot be untied. He felt stuck, trapped like a mouse that just waited for its death. It was unbearable. 

He let out a small, quiet hum, it was the only sound he could let out honestly. He felt his heart constrict with pain. That simply won’t do. You’re stronger than this. I believe in you. You can do it, I know you can. Those words, they were always at the back of his head. Some sort of ghostly whisper that he wished he could get away from.

“Wanna sleep at my place tonight?” The other man asked and he nodded, it’s all he could do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thursday 15th of August. Tooru was lying on his stomach, dragging his fingers down the underside of his forearms as Iwaizumi scrolled through his social media. He always did this, and it was always welcomed.

“When are your parents coming back again?” The brunette asked, sound muffled in his torso.

“Sunday. Why?” He brought his hand that wasn’t holding his phone to his hair and started massaging his boyfriend’s scalp, the other boy letting out a small hum in appreciation. 

Oikawa was nuzzling the crook of his neck and he couldn’t help but frown. Oikawa never acted like that unless he wanted some dick. And they just had sex. Like ten minutes ago. “What’s up?”

“We should have a party.” He kissed his chest one, two, three times, trailing his lips over the soft flesh on his sides. He hadn’t gone to the gym recently, only because Oikawa deemed that ‘sex is a sport in itself’. He had gotten a little squishy. 

“A party?”

“Uhm.” His kisses grew more playful and Iwaizumi knew he was too far gone to say no. Damn it Oikawa.

“Okay.” He felt Oikawa’s lips curve in satisfaction against his skin and felt his hands slip around his neck. “Who do you want to invite?”

“We should invite Mattsun and Makki! Suga of course…” He trailed off and hummed, thinking. 

“Daichi and Asahi?” Oikawa tensed above him, and Iwaizumi immediately lifted his head. “Uhm?”

“Nothing. The more the merrier! I’ll text Makki and Mattsun.” 

The brunette grabbed his phone on the bedside table, shrieking as he touched what looked like an untied, used condom. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’ve touched grossest things.” 

“You’ve touched grossest things.” He imitated, mockingly. He was so irritating. He opened the text app and sent a text to Suga. He didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

To : Sugawara

Thu 15 Aug 2:32PM

_Hey Suga! Party at my place this Friday, you in?_

From : Sugawara

Thu 15 Aug 2:33PM

hi! will daichi be here?

Iwaizumi frowned at the text from Suga. Was Daichi the reason why his morale dropped so suddenly? He had to text Daichi anyway, he could just ask him. Try to get clearance from the other man.

To : Sugawara

Thu 15 Aug 2:33

_Well i was planning on inviting him too yes, why?_

From : Sugawara

Thu 15 Aug 2:34PM

nothing! i was just wondering. let me ask my mom i’ll see if i can go!

The two of them were texting their friends, asking them if they were going to attend their party the next day. Most of them had said yes, a couple of no’s because some of them had left the city for summer break. 

The next person he texted was Daichi, not asking him right away for the party. He had his mind elsewhere. He shifted under Oikawa and the other man yelped and groaned before sitting up against the headboard. “Should we invite the guys from Shiratorizawa?”

He cocked one of his eyebrow and craned his neck to look at his naked boyfriend. If they hadn’t had sex all morning he would have probably gone at it once again.“I never thought I would hear this sentence come out of your mouth.” 

“Semi and Tendou aren’t that bad…”

He cocked his eyebrow even higher. “You want me to text Ushijima?” His boyfriend grinned. Unbelievable.

To : Daichi

Thu 15 Aug2:48PM

_Did you and Suga fight?_

From : Daichi

Thu 15 Aug 2:48PM

err yeah, did he tell you?

Bingo.

To : Daichi

Thu 15 Aug2:49PM

_No_

_But i wanted to invite him to a party we’re having on friday (you’re invited by the way) and he asked me if you were coming.. so uh_

He had seen Daichi only once since they had gone to the station together to pick up Oikawa and Suga. He didn’t seem off that day. Maybe it had happened days after. Or maybe Daichi was good at hiding his feelings. Just like a certain someone.

From : Daichi

Thu 15 Aug2:50 PM

ah. yes we had a fight but don’t worry about it

is the party at your place or oikawa’s?

He thought about it for a few seconds. He remembers Daichi being worried about something at the station. He didn’t like being noisy but, he kind of wanted to know.

To : Daichi

Thu 15 Aug 2:50PM

_My place_

_Is it about the thing you told me at the station?_

From : Daichi

Thu 15 Aug2:51PM

yep

“Five people are coming, and I asked two more. Who did you text so far?” The brunette asked, fingers tracing his happy trail lightly. Mouth skimming over his jaw.

“Don’t know about Suga, I just asked Daichi and was about to text Terushima and Ushijima.”

“Terushima? As in Johzenji’s Terushima? You’ve got his number?” He took a look at his phone screen, grimacing as he read the text he just had with Daichi. “I see he told you.”

“I kind of guessed it.” Oikawa took his phone away from him. “Hey!”

“Can I text Suga?”

“You have his phone number don’t you?” Oikawa had his lost puppy face on and he couldn’t find it in himself to say no. “What are you gonna do with it?”

“You’ll see.” He grinned before kissing his cheek. He didn’t know what his boyfriend was up to, he just knew this couldn’t end well.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He hadn’t talked to Daichi in two weeks. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to hear his voice, wanted to see his face, his smile, but every time he was about to click on his number, every time he walked past his house, about to knock on his door, he felt a nauseating feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The only person he had met the past two weeks were Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He didn’t even know if Iwaizumi knew the reason why he was spending so much time with them. He felt like he was just bothering them, he felt like a nuisance to them, to everyone even his mom.

For the past few weeks, all he did was stay in his room all day, spending his afternoons reading his books for university, petting his cat. He was bored. He was one call away from Daichi, seventeen houses away from him. He ruined his summer, all for this little pride of his.

Daichi had kept trying to contact him, even going as far as texting him on the camboy app. Suga deleted the app right away, posting a small message on his page before doing so. ‘Taking a break, don’t know when I’ll be back.’ It read. He didn’t know if he would ever be back. Eventually, Daichi stopped trying to reach out to him.

He felt his phone buzz next to him, he couldn’t even find it under the pile of comforters and pillows on his bed after he had thrown it away when Iwaizumi had texted him earlier. When he finally found it, he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed to see that it still wasn’t Daichi, but Iwaizumi, again. Why was he even disappointed? It’s not like he was going to answer his text anyway. 

From : Iwaizumi

Thu 15th Aug 3:12PM

_daichi isn’t coming!!just wanted to let you know!!!_

No caps and an excessive amount exclamation points? This was definitely Oikawa speaking. There was still some kind of victory sound resonating in his head. 

To : Iwaizumi

Thu 15th Aug 3:13PM

my mom said i could go :]

He hadn’t actually asked his mom. She wasn’t even here anyway. She had gone on a business trip the day before, up-north. He knew she wouldn’t be back for a few days. It’s as if he had already gotten her approval.

He was finally going to have some fun. Have some fun without Daichi. He hadn’t actually had any fun during the entire break. He did have a good time with Iwaizumi and Oikawa but he just felt like a human cockblock. He felt a little jealous. He wished he could have had this, with Daichi maybe. Just seeing them was enough to make him feel touch-starved. Maybe he could try to get laid at the party. Make him forget about his crush, once and for all.

All of this, it was gnawing at him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was 7:30 when he left his house, 8 when he reached Iwaizumi’s. He saw people he knew from afar, Terushima being one of them. He walked up to him and saw the other boy flash him a straight row of teeth and a peace sign.

“Hi! Didn’t know you were coming!”

“I think out of us two you’re the most unexpected guest.” He grinned. He could hear some music coming from inside the house and see people walking through the kitchen window.

“Most unexpected guest? Ushijima is literally inside this goddamn house!” 

“Ushijima? As in Shiratorizawa’s Ushijima?” He didn’t really sound surprised. He knew Iwaizumi and him were friends, despite Oikawa’s dislike of the man. 

“Yeah! Also your wingman’s inside.”

“Wingman?” Asahi could be considered his wingman. Suga could be considered his wingman. But Iwaizumi had told him Suga wouldn’t be here, much to his dismay.

“Your number 2? Pretty boy with silver hair, definitely fuckable.” He ruffled his own hair to make it look like Suga’s haircut.

“Where is he?” He sounded so desperate, and he was, really. He hadn’t seen him in two weeks.

“Last time I saw him he was in the kitchen.” Daichi took a deep breath and walked inside the house. 

The way his gut clenched at the idea of Terushima and Suga fucking told him all he needed to know. He was jealous. He had no right to be jealous. Suga could do whatever he wanted, with whoever he wanted. But a little voice at the back of his mind did say ‘I wish that were me’.

“Sawamura!” A delicate feminine voice called from outside, he didn’t look back because Suga was right in front of him. Five meters away from him, the closest they had been in two weeks.

The silver-haired boy lifted up his head from what seemed like a glass of wine from afar and tensed when he saw him.

“Suga.” He got closer to him and the other man averted his gaze. 

“I have nothing to say to you.” He watched as the ashen-haired man refilled his glass with more wine. 

He looked around and realised no one was in the kitchen apart from the two of them and spoke up. “But I do!”

The other man spun around on his bar stool to face him and puts on his best smile, the one that makes his eyes crinkle at the corner. “I think your girlfriend wants to talk to you.” 

He let out a confused noise. “My girlfriend?”

The other man pointed at someone behind Daichi’s back. “Michimiya. You shouldn’t make her wait, it’s rude and ungentlemanlike.”

He let out a small snort in disbelief but he truly was hurt. He blinked back tears and reminded himself that he was in public. Maybe he could just leave. Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him yet, he could pretend something came up and he couldn’t go to the party.

He turned around and saw that Michimiya was indeed there, red in the cheeks and he knew she probably heard their argument. He felt bad for her. He had only recently learned that she liked him but he had no feelings for her whatsoever. Hearing what Suga had just said must have made her embarrassed and he just nodded when their eyes met, Michimiya staying where she is, sensing that Daichi needed to be left alone. For now. Or probably forever.

As he was about to open the door to leave, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and he screw his eyes shut. He pretended he couldn’t hear, couldn’t see, he tried really hard but it wasn’t enough and eventually he heard a small ‘Don’t leave’ in the familiar voice that was Iwaizumi’s.

He summoned the courage to turn around and opened his eyes, a fake smile plastered on his face. “Iwaizumi, hi.”

“Sorry about the text from earlier, Oikawa took my phone.” He gave him a small smile, as if he understood something had happened two minutes ago. “He said you wouldn’t have come if he were here.” 

“I would have come anyway.”

“Weren’t you about to leave?” He deadpanned. He couldn’t lie to Iwaizumi.

“Can I talk to you about something? In private?” The other man frowned but led the way upstairs anyway. 

“Sorry about… the stuff on the floor, and everywhere.” His face was flushed crimson and he didn’t see anything incriminating so f- Nevermind. He saw the used condom on the bedside table and averted his gaze right away. 

Daichi sat down on his desk chair and put his head in his hands before letting out a loud sigh. “So?”

It was hard to admit it out loud. But he had thought about it a lot for the past two weeks.

“I like Suga.” For a long moment, he didn’t answer. Silence, then…

“Well it’s about time.” He raised his head from his hands to look at his friend. Now what?

“What?”

“If you think you were hiding your crush on him… you definitely weren’t.” He couldn’t do anything but blink. He stares at him dumbfounded, mouth slightly agape at the thought. He was the only one who wasn’t aware of his crush on his best friend.

“He hates me anyway so.”

“You should give him some time to think maybe. He definitely needed to be alone or at least not around you the past two weeks.” 

Daichi took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. “Yeah, I don’t know.” 

“Just stay, have fun with us. I don’t care if you drink or not or if you decide to stay in the garden on your own but stay, you need it.” 

When he spoke again, his voice was quiet.  “Alright.”

Iwaizumi put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “I know it’ll get better by the end of summer break.”

“If you say so.” He ran a hand through his hair and stood up.

When they went back downstairs, he had to think really hard as to tear his gaze away from Suga’s body who was right across the hallway from him. He wished he could be standing next to him, laughing to whatever joke he had just heard that was making laugh too. Jealousy clawed at his gut just at the sight of Terushima and him speaking.

He noticed the half empty glass in his hand and the way he had to put a hand on the wall to help him stay upright, Terushima’s hand on his waist.

Iwaizumi’s parties were always chill and that’s why people loved hanging at his place so much. There always were different small groups gathering in different rooms, people playing random drinking games (often started by either Mattsun or Makki), people going in the little inflatable pool that he would set up every summer, people drinking and eating in the kitchen (that always was him and Suga when he thought about it). 

He decided he could go for a drink and lowered his head when he walked past Suga. He doesn’t even know if he noticed he was gone. He wished he did. 

There was the taste of metal in his mouth. He had been chewing on his lip nervously for most of the night. He couldn’t help but take a glance at his ashen-haired friend every once in a while. He looked different. Paler, skinnier, even more tired. All of this being his fault. All he could do was watch from afar.

He didn’t know how much alcohol Suga had in his body right now, but he did see his glass get refilled quite a few times. He didn’t even know how he could even stand right now. He couldn’t help but be worried. He felt like he was the only one worried about him right now. 

The evening faded into the night and it soon was already midnight, he had barely even slept the past few nights and was already tired. His feet led him to the door unconsciously and he quickly felt a hand on his shoulder. What was wrong with people touching his shoulder right as he was about to leave tonight?

“Iwaizumi listen I really should g-“ He said as he turned around and the man behind him wasn’t Iwaizumi but Oikawa. With an intoxicated looking Suga nuzzling his neck.

“I think you forgot someone.” He smiled sheepishly. There was something behind that smile that he didn’t like.

“I’m not gonna-“

“I can’t bring him home, you literally live two houses away from him.” He cut him off mid-sentence. 

“‘Ruu are you bringing me home?” 

Oikawa was glaring daggers at him. “Of course, did you bring something with you?”

“Phone.”

He guessed this was a golden opportunity. He could redeem himself by bringing him home. Make everything go back to normal. “I’ll go grab his phone.” He said before walking to the kitchen where Suga’s phone was. He put it in his back pocket before heading back to the entrance where Oikawa and Suga were still waiting. 

Suga looked like he was two seconds away from falling asleep which was kind of reassuring, at least he wouldn’t have to talk to him. 

He put his arm around Suga’s shoulders to help him stand upright and smiled to himself. Was this all Oikawa’s doing? Was this his plan right from the start? He honestly didn’t know but it made him quite happy.

Suga was leaning against him as they made their way through the city. He could hear him giggle every once in a while, it reminded him of the drunk Suga he used to bring back home in their third year. He reeked of alcohol but there was also this faint scent of vanilla which was so very Suga.

“Why did you lie to me?” He asked after a while, his eyes still fixated on the floor.

“Uhm?” Suga was unsteady on his feet and his face was flushed with alcohol.

“You said,” He hiccuped. “You said Daichi wouldn’t be here tonight and he was here.”

Oh. Suga was so sloshed he didn’t even realise Oikawa wasn’t bringing him home. Maybe it was for the best.

“Uhh,”

“I feel really bad because I was being mean to him all night and yet he didn’t say anything.” Suga started crying. Oh no. “I could see how much I hurt him like… like it was written all over his face.” Suga sobbed and he hated seeing him like that. Suga didn’t like crying in front of anyone, just seeing him like that, all miserable looking, made him want to cry. 

“I’m just sad because I still like him but it won’t ever be like before because I’m a coward and I’ve been an ass all night and he probably hates me now!” He cried out and leaned his head on his shoulder. 

Daichi’s heart sunk and now he definitely wanted to cry. His face was burning in embarrassment, they both had been so stupid.

“I thought I could forget about him and then Terushima kissed me but it didn’t feel good…like…” He seemed like he was looking for the right words.

He knew something had happened between them. At least they didn’t have sex is what he thought to try to reassure himself.

“Like someone else’s lips should be against yours?” Daichi continued.

“Yes! I bet Daichi is a really good kisser.”

He chuckled at that. He had never kissed anyone and Suga probably knew that. He kind of wanted to kiss him now.

Eventually Suga closed his eyes and his breathing evened out and they soon reached his house. When they got upstairs, Suga let out a small sigh. 

“Can we—can I…” He hiccuped once again.

“What is it?”

“I think—bathroom…” He moaned and Daichi definitely knew something was wrong.

He turned on the bathroom light and he didn’t even had time to do anything else that Suga was lunging towards the toilets and emptied his stomach full of whatever he had ate and drank that night into the bowl. Mostly drank.

Daichi sat down next to him and rubbed his back in a soothing manner, keeping his hair out of his face and mouth. He heard him choke on a sob, or on a gag, he honestly didn’t know. 

“I’m never drinking, ever again.” He laughed into the toilet bowl after a few minutes of silence.

“You good?” He asked, gently touching Suga’s shoulder.

“I think I got it all out… I think.” 

Daichi took a washcloth from the cabinet and put it under warm water before wiping Suga’s face with it. He never thought he would be doing this to his crush slash not-so-best-friend-anymore, it felt just as if nothing had ever happened.

He heaved him off the floor and draped Suga’s arm over his shoulder before heading to Suga’s bedroom. It was unusually messy. Balled up tissues on the floor (probably from crying he guessed), at least four empty teacups on his bedside table, that only happened when he was ill. He didn’t turn on the lights, the moonlit sky being enough for him to see inside the small room.

Daichi gently laid him down on the bed and pulled up the comforter to his chin, Suga smiling dumbly at him. He didn’t even know if he recognised him yet and he kind of didn’t want him to. 

“Thank you for bringing me home.” He said, a small tear rolling down his cheek sparkling in the moonlight, his hair silvered by it.

“Try to get some sleep.” He smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from his face and before he even knew it, Suga was already fast asleep.

He put his phone on his bedside table and remembered to remove his bracelet before placing it next to his phone. He didn’t want to leave just yet, but he knew he had to.

He kissed Suga’s forehead before leaving the room, what his friend had told him earlier lingering in his thoughts.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Waking up the day after was painful. He hadn’t meant to drink so much. He hadn’t meant to drink at all if he had to be honest. When he saw him enter the house, he couldn’t have helped but chug down the nearest bottle.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat down against the headboard and blinked at the sight before him. 

His room had been tidied up during the night, there was a trashcan right next to his bed (he had a weird taste in his mouth so that was probably why) and a glass full of water with two paracetamol tabs on his bedside table. Oikawa was too nice.

He threw a tab in the water and watched as the water fizzed, head aching from a nasty hangover. He made a sour face as he drank his water and noticed a bright pink sticky note under his phone from the corner of his eye.  

He felt his heart swell with affection as he saw what was written on the note. 

‘I hope you feel better soon. I’m sorry. S.D.’ was what was written on it. He didn’t remember much from the night before, but when he thought about it, the scent on his shirt was familiar. A faint touch of cardamom, bergamot and Virginia cedar. Definitely Daichi’s cologne.

He vaguely remembers seeing Daichi at the party, despite Oikawa telling him he wasn’t coming (he would have to ask him about that later). He also vaguely, _no vividly_ , remembers being mean to him. Ignoring him for most of the night. Seeing the hurt on his face.

Maybe he should go to Daichi’s. Apologise but also thank him for the night before, apologise for slapping him (he really did regret that). 

He grabbed his phone only to realise that his battery ran out. He understood it as god’s way of telling him that he should wait a bit more. He did feel a little queasy about meeting Daichi again. Daichi wasn’t the type of person to hold grudges against people but Suga wouldn’t be surprised if Daichi were mad at him. So he just waited. Waited until that queasy feeling left him.

He plugged in his phone and noticed the familiar silver bracelet that he had lost around two weeks ago. Has it been in his room all along under all the trash ? Or has it been at Daichi’s and the boy had brought it back to him? He tried not to think about it anymore. Daichi had just been nice to him, because he was a nice man. He would have done this to anybody.

He tried to stand up to grab his laptop and got reminded of his raging headache and dizziness and decided that maybe, he should just stay in bed all day and wait for it to pass. 

Eventually, staying in bed for the day lasted one week, because he was a coward and was scared to see Daichi. He hadn’t even texted anyone, he just stayed in his room all day thinking about his unrequited crush on Daichi. His life was sad, really.

They were leaving in a week and he still hadn’t made up his mind. Ever since that day; ever since Daichi had left him a note on his bedside table and brought him home, like a best-friend would do, he did all this as if nothing had happened hours before. As if Suga hadn’t barked at him.

Oikawa eventually texted him, asking him to hang out and he couldn’t lie, it did feel a little strange not to wear sweat pants and a sleep shirt. He actually had spent his entire summer break like that. Maybe he should have just stayed in Tokyo.

As he sat down in the genkan to put on his shoes, he heard footsteps coming from behind him and lifted up his head.  

“Where are you going?” His mother asked, his mother hadn’t been here for most of summer break and whenever she was home he would either leave the house to see Oikawa or stay in his room all day wallowing in self-pity. He did feel a little bad about that.

“Going to have lunch with Oikawa. I think I told you about it yesterday.” He finished tying up his shoelace and straightened up.

His mother hummed and stroked his cheek. “I haven’t heard about Daichi-kun in a long time, how about you invite him over for lunch or dinner soon?” 

He snorted nervously and pulled away from her touch. “Daichi is… He’s quite busy because he’s w-working?” Why did he make it sound like a question?

“You two fought didn’t you?”

He took a deep breath, he hadn’t told his mom about that. And maybe he should have. “How did you know?” He couldn’t even look at her in the eyes.

“I’m your mother Koushi.” She chuckled. Of course. “You’ve been on self-destruct mode for the past three weeks, ever since you came back from Daichi-kun’s.” 

Ok yeah. Maybe he hadn’t been really secretive about all this. His mother put his hand through his hair and he just closed his eyes. He could stay like that forever.

“You lost that little glimmer in your eyes whenever you would talk about him, Koushi.” He could feel tears well up in his eyes and spill down his cheeks even though he still had his eyes closed. He felt a warm body press up against him and a hand rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “I saw Daichi-kun a few times too and he did look different.”

“D-Do you know about me?” He sniffled into her shoulders and she just hummed in response. Oh god.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve known it even before you did.”

“I-“

“Please try to make up. Just try. You won’t be young forever.” He nodded and his mother wiped his cheeks with her thumbs. “Now go, don’t want you to be late.” 

He felt so incredibly happy to be accepted by his mom and hugged her one more time before leaving the house. He had to make up with him. He had to overcome his fear. You can do it. I know you can.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Saturday 31st of August. He hadn’t heard about Suga since the party. He couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. A little sad even. He went on with his day like usual which meant, stay in bed until noon, eat something, shower and then… nothing.

It was 2:30 already and he thought he could definitely use a shower right now. He felt like he hadn’t showered in days even though he did literally the day before. He hated summer before, and he hated it even more now.

He jumped in the shower and thought about the fact he hadn’t masturbated in a while. Hadn’t masturbated since that day with ‘spikemyballs’; That name made him laugh, really. Maybe his dick was broken or something. He honestly didn’t know.

When he stepped out of the shower the first thing he did was look at his face in the mirror. He didn’t look as awful as he thought. Maybe he should just shave a little, but apart from that, the bags under his eyes were slowly fading and he didn’t have unruly hair. Which was unusual from all the moving around he does when he sleeps.

He shaved, put on some cologne and got dressed (just a pair of shorts and a simple graphic tee) and left the bathroom. It seemed like no one was home, not even his brother, he was going back to his high school in Tokyo in two days. He didn’t even hang out with him this summer. Daichi was either too busy crying in his room or his brother was just hanging out with his boyfriend. Well.

He remembered that Suga was leaving for Tokyo today too. And that any chance of them making up was definitely ruined now. He checked his phone for the time, and maybe, just maybe just in case he didn’t receive a text from the boy.

And he just blinked.

Two missed calls. And a new message in his voicemail, from Suga. Was he hallucinating? He unlocked his phone and listened to his voicemail, he almost cried when he heard that familiar voice.

“H-hi Daichi uhm… This is Suga… Well I guess you know that unless you deleted my phone number.” Why would he delete his phone number? “Anyway, my train is leaving in an hour… And I kind of wanted to see you before I left?” 

He kept listening to the message as he ran downstairs to put on his shoes. “I’m just leaving this message just in case you actually missed my call and didn’t just ignore me… But well if you’re ignoring me then I totally get it. Uhm yeah anyway I guess I’ll see you in an hour or so? Or not if you don’t want to, bye Daichi.” 

He had received that voicemail fourty minutes ago. He was leaving in twenty minutes. He had twenty minutes to go to the station and talk to Suga. He could do it.

He was pretty sure he didn’t tie his shoes properly but he didn’t care. He had never ran so fast in his life before. Even when he was on the court, trying to save a ball from falling and giving a point to the other team. He was at the station in record time, seven minutes and twenty four seconds. And that’s when he heard the voice announcer say ‘The train to depart from platform 8 will be the 3:30PM Shinkansen to Tokyo.’

He was right in front of platform 1, he could see the number 8 from where he was. He was so close to being reunited with his best friend and he could already feel tears threatening to spill. 

He almost tripped over a few suitcases as he made his may to platform 8 and he kind of wished he was maybe 2 or 3 centimetres taller. He spotted spiky hair from afar next to a tall brunette and mentally said ‘bingo’.

He doesn’t even realise his feet are moving when he spots a mop of silver hair in the crowd, he doesn’t even realise he screams ‘Suga’ and thats when he sees the boy turn around, say something to his friend and walk towards him, the first step hesitant, but he quickly starts running too.

They meet in the middle and they are hugging and it feels unreal. He had missed him, he had missed that familiar scent of bubblegum and vanilla, he buried his nose in Suga’s hair and he can hear Suga choking back tears against his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry Daichi, I’m so sorry.” He felt Suga’s hands clinging to the back of his shirt.

“Please don’t cry, I don’t want to make you cry.” He tightened his grip on his hair and he could feel his eyes burn from the tears.

Suga pulls away from the hug and it just hurts him to see him with a tear-streaked face, he doesn’t want Suga to be like that anymore. He sniffled loudly and looked at him through blurry eyes, he felt two hands stroke his cheeks and he cannot stop _smiling_.

“I’m sorry I slapped you.” He bites his lips.

“I- I deserved it, you didn’t deserve me lying to you, and I’m sorry.” He sees more tears cling to Suga’s eyelash and he hates seeing that face on him.

“Being away from you, not talking to you for the past month made me realise how much I care about you Suga, how much it would hurt me if we were to actually never talk again, it helped me realise how much I like you, not only as a best friend but also as a-“

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence that Suga was pulling him into a kiss. He was so baffled by the sheer boldness of this man, his crush, his bestfriend, that he didn’t even think about kissing back.

They part lips and Suga looks horrified. He was so stupid. “Did you just try to shut me up by kissing me?”

“Yes?” He let out a small laugh that turns into a sob.

“Please do it again.” He’s blushing so hard and he pulls Suga into a kiss again.

He feels like a kid on Christmas day. Suga’s lips felt so soft against his, they felt as soft as they looked and he couldn’t get enough of his taste. Watermelon hi-chew, so very Suga; so very them.

‘The 3:30 Shinkansen to Tokyo to depart from platform 8 is leaving in two minutes, to ensure a timely departure, train doors may be locked shut up to 30 seconds before departure.’ Is what made them stop the kiss. He doesn’t want to leave Suga, he wants to kiss him one more time and he does. Suga is laughing into his mouth and he can’t help but do the same. 

“I’ll text you.” Suga said before kissing him one more time on his nose and he runs towards his suitcase before hopping into the train. Daichi sees Iwaizumi walk towards him, a big toothy grin plastered on his face and he’s pretty sure he had never been so happy in his life. 

“I told you he needed some time.” Iwaizumi laughed, Daichi hitting him lightly in the shoulder.

“Thank you.” His eyes drift towards a ticket vending machine, and it feels like a light bulb just lit up in his brain. “Wait.”

Before he even knew it, he booked a night bus ticket to Tokyo for the next week end. It just felt natural to do so. He feels his phone buzz in his pocket and he’s met with a text from Suga.

From : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:34PM

i’m sorry it took me so long and we couldn’t even enjoy summer break together

To : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:34PM

_if you apologise one more time i won’t be coming next week_

He saw him type an answer and he could guess what was coming next.

From : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:35PM

YOU WHAT?

Bingo.

To : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:35PM

_I’ll take the night bus on friday and leave on sunday afternoon, good?_

Another text a few seconds later. God he had missed this.

From : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:36PM

are you sure?

To : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:36PM

_too late now i already booked my tickets_

From : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:37PM

DAICHI!!!!!!

To : Suga

Sat 31st Aug 3:37PM

_see you on saturday :))_

 

He hugged the tickets to his chest. Waiting had never been so worth it before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOHOOOO


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are we dating ?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 6 IS OUT !!! FINALLY!!!! sorry for the wait!   
> Thank you again ken from proofreading it, you've been such a great help with this fic!!!

He was so excited (and nervous) to see Suga again that he couldn’t even fall asleep. The bus engine not helping either. He had brought homework with him, because he knew deep down that he wouldn’t get any sleep that night.

It was late when the bus had finally departed, 10pm. He knew he would arrive at around 6am in Tokyo. He had been to Tokyo before, for training camps mostly and to see his brother playing baseball, but it was the first time he would go there on his own. It was quite scary, the city was so big and dense, it truly was different from Sendai.

He couldn’t even stay concentrated for more than 10 minutes; his mind kept drifting towards the recent past, the feeling of Suga’s lips on his, the way Suga’s hips looked when he was hovering over that dildo- No. He couldn’t think of that now. That was dangerous territory right there.

He and Suga hadn’t talked that much during the last week, between university, homework and his new job, they hadn’t had much time to talk, but it didn’t stop his mind from having dirty thoughts. 

He didn’t know whether or not they would do _things_ together, he didn’t even know if they were dating if he had to be honest. Sure, they had kissed, sure they both had feelings for each other but, they hadn’t really talked about it. Maybe they would during the week end, he hoped they would, he hoped they would kiss more, touch more, he was starving for Suga’s body.

When he came back home after going to the station the week before, he couldn’t have helped but masturbate to Suga’s scent on his t-shirt. That faint touch of vanilla and bubblegum, and the lingering taste of watermelon on his tongue, he had never come so hard in his life before. Probably because he hadn’t masturbated in weeks and when you’re an 19 year old guy and you hold back for weeks, just the faintest touch, slightest scent, the smallest words, could make you feel a little hot down there. 

He had been listening to music for quite some time now, doing homework (or at least trying to do homework) when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, it was already one in the morning, he wondered who could be texting him. His question was rapidly answered as he saw it was a text from Suga.

From : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:24AM

_can’t sleep, u awake?_

To : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:24AM

yep. can’t sleep as well, bus seats aren’t the most comfortable things in the world

From : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:25AM

_u should try to sleep, don’t want u to be tired tmrw_

_sorry for the typos and abbreviations i’m exhausted_

He couldn’t help but snort. And then he looked around himself because he was scared he might have woken up someone. 

To : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:25AM

says the one who’s still awake

can’t believe you can spell ‘abbreviations’ but not ‘you’ properly

you… really should try to sleep though. you had classes all day and then work

From : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:26AM

_abrvts.. doesn’t look right_

_hmmm that sounds really tempting_

_but taking a nap with my bf sounds really tempting too_

It did sound really tempting. Sleeping in the same bed as Suga, holding him close and breathing him in. He also wondered if he had meant ‘bf’ as in best friend or boyfriend? He kind of hoped it would be the latter. 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he read the next message.

From : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:27AM

 _maybe do more than sleeping…(_ · _ω <)_☆

Should he really be sexting with his best friend slash boyfriend in a bus surrounded by strangers? He kind of wanted to. He just didn’t want to pop a boner right there.

To : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 1:27AM

sleeping sounds very nice

more than sleeping sounds very nice too (:

He didn’t receive a message for a while. He didn’t receive any message at all until morning actually. He had slept a little, sleep getting the better of him eventually. When he woke up again, the sun had already risen. He looked at the time, 5:48. He would arrive in Tokyo soon. He was already in Tokyo actually but the morning traffic was quite horrible, despite it being so early in the morning.

When he arrived at the bus station, the first thing he did was look around to try to spot that familiar mop of silver hair. He didn’t find him outside but thought that he might have more luck inside. Except he didn’t. Maybe Suga got lost on his way there, maybe he chickened out. Before he could think further on the reason why Suga wasn’t here, he received a text from the silver haired man.

From : Suga

Sat 7th Sept 6:07AM

_sorry woke up late and forgot there weren’t as many trains at 5:40AM than there are at fucking 8_

_i should be there in 2 minutes!!!!!! sorry dai!!!!_

This was so very Suga. He remembers how during their high school years he would always wake up late, Daichi literally having to go to his house to wake him up when his mom wasn’t here to do so. He wondered if these kind of things still happened to him (they did), or if he had someone to wake him up when he needed to (he did, Oikawa was such a good friend).

He heard his name being called out from afar and he didn’t have time to turn around that two arms were already wrapping around his waist. 

“Morning, handsome.” The smaller man said, voice sounding hoarse from sleep. His voice was still music to his ears, though. 

“Hey, missed you.” He felt Suga’s mouth turn into a smile against his neck and a kiss being deposited right behind his ear.

When he turned around to look at the other man, he couldn’t help but stroke his cheek, making sure all of this wasn’t some sort of dream (it wasn’t, he was sure of it now). 

“Sorry about my outfit, I didn’t bother getting changed as I woke up two minutes before I was supposed to leave.” If he had to be honest, Suga looked good in everything, even a pair of loose sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

“Your hair looks nice.” Daichi joked to which Suga pouted. Suga was sporting… a very bad case of bed hair. His usual cowlick still in place.

“You should be happy that I at least brushed my teeth.” He whispered before giving him a quick peck on the lips, it sure tasted like mint, there was no denying that. “We should go back to my place.” He smiled against his lips and kissed him one more time. He had missed those soft lips against his.

The trip back to Suga’s place was pretty short and quiet. He kind of regretted not sleeping more, and he was sure Suga did too, the ashen haired man had been yawning the entire ride there. He couldn’t wait to flop into a comfortable bed and fall asleep next to his… boyfriend?

“Are we dating?” Daichi finally asked after a while, they still hadn’t reached Suga’s flat yet, having decided to buy something for breakfast on their way there.

Suga took his hand in his and entwined their fingers, still looking at the floor. “I kind of hoped we were.”

“Just wanted to make sure.” He smiled as he felt Suga squeeze his hand slightly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When they reached Suga’s apartment, the first thing Daichi did was flop onto his (messy) bed before letting out a small groan.

“What is it?” He asked as he sat down next to Daichi’s tired form.

“This smells like you.” Daichi said, voice muffled against the pillow he was hugging.

Sleepy Daichi was adorable and he couldn’t wait to see more sides of him now that they were boyfriends. He was so happy they made up. He was so happy Daichi returned his feelings. He was so happy Daichi was there, with him, within arm’s reach.

He tickled Daichi’s side before laying down next to him. “Well, I smell like me too.”

Daichi passed an arm around his waist and pulled him closer, breathing him in. “Uhm.”

“You should sleep.”  He moved to stand up but was rapidly stopped by a hand gripping at his wrist.

“Please stay with me.” His voice was soft with sleep. He could’t say no to this. He laid down next to him once again, Daichi’s eyes closing as he stroked his hair.

“You awake?” He asked after quite some time, it felt like they had been laying here for hours even though it had only been mere minutes. 

“Barely.” He shifted next to Suga and buried his face in the crook of his neck. “Why?”

“Can I ask you a few questions?”

Dating Daichi, it felt so new to him and it felt like he barely even knew his boyfriend despite them being so close for the past three years. 

Daichi hummed in response, tracing small circles on Suga’s hip with his fingers.

He had so many questions, he didn’t know which one to ask first. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you knew?”

His heart was beating faster and he didn’t know if Daichi could hear it. He hadn’t meant to ask this first, he didn’t even know if he wanted to know the answer.

“I was scared I guess,” He kissed his jaw and continued. “The day we first started talking was the day I learned about it, I didn’t know about it right away.”

He could understand that. “I… I thought you knew from the start.”

He hummed, thinking. “I just didn’t want you to be upset or sad if I stopped talking to you on there, but I also wanted to let you know who you were actually talking to and I thought that talking about it while you were with me, physically, would be the best thing to do.” 

“I guess it was.” He smiled against Daichi’s scalp. Maybe it was the best thing to do. Maybe if Daichi had never told him what he knew, they would have never started dating, Suga being too much of a coward to ask him out, Daichi not even realising his true feelings for his best friend.

“When did you start liking me?”

Another kiss on his jaw, one on his neck. “I don’t know. Probably second year of high school, maybe before, but I never…I never really noticed how I felt towards you. It was like… grand denial of feelings right there.” Daichi laughed. “I can’t believe I was this stupid.”

“ _We_ were this stupid.” He corrected. 

The sun was rising higher and higher in the sky, the temperature in his room rising too. They could remove the comforter from their bodies but he was so comfortable against Daichi, despite his bed being so small for the two of them. It felt like he belonged in Daichi’s arms somehow.

“When did you start liking me?” Daichi asked this time, he tangled his legs with Suga’s and held him even closer. Daichi was like a human furnace but he didn’t mind.

He let out a small laugh at the question, he had fallen in love with Daichi so many times, telling himself it was normal to feel this way about his best friend each time. “Do you remember the second week of our first year, when I forgot my lunch and you offered me half of yours even though we barely even knew each other?

“Of course I do.” He smiled against his neck, hands slipping under his t-shirt, caressing his back slowly.

“I think that’s when I fell really hard for you. It made me sick really, my dad would always say how disgusting these kind of things were so I thought-“ He took a deep breath, it was hard to think about this. “I thought I was disgusting too you know. I still felt that a lot when I used to livestream, this was for a different reason though but… still.”

He remembers the time he would sit down in his bath and cried his heart out for what felt like hours. Being so disgusted and scared.

“I’m glad you told me Sug.” He held him even tighter (it honestly felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore), whispering sweet nothings in his ear. 

“Are you gonna livestream again?” 

The question took him aback. He hadn’t actually thought about live-streaming again. “I don’t know. I got a job now anyway.” Daichi hummed in acknowledgement against his neck and this was the last question they asked each other.

Daichi still had his eyes closed and he could tell he was seconds away from falling asleep now, he watched as his breathing evened out, his chest falling and rising in a slow rhythm.

He felt the arms that were holding him loosen slightly and Daichi’s slow breathing fill the quiet room of his apartment. He wasn’t tired, and he also had homework to do but, he couldn’t help but watch Daichi as he slept. He looked so soft and at peace, he loved him so much he could cry.

He slowly slipped out of Daichi’s hold, being careful as to not wake him up. He grabbed his laptop and books and left the room quietly, looking back at Daichi’s sleeping form one more time with a huge smile on his face. 

Was this what it felt like to be in love?

 

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up to an empty bed and the smell of coffee filling his nostrils. He observed the room around him, smiling at himself at the fact this was not a dream, he was at Suga’s apartment in Tokyo, in Suga’s bed, without Suga.

The curtains were drawn open and the sun rays were hitting directly on the bed. It was hot under the comforter, too hot even, the fact he was still wearing his t-shirt and pants not helping either.

He thought he could remove his t-shirt, it’s not like Suga had never seen him shirtless right? 

He sat up against the wall, removed his shirt and looked at the time on his phone. He had slept for four hours. It wasn’t much, but it was still more than he had in the bus earlier. He looked around the room, the room he had seen so many times on Suga’s livestreams. He was glad Suga had asked him those questions earlier, he didn’t want to keep secrets from him anymore.

He opened the bedroom door and watched from the doorway as Suga worked on his laptop, glasses perched upon his nose. He didn’t know Suga had glasses, but he definitely looked cute with them.

He walked towards Suga and sat down next to him on the floor, putting his head on his shoulder. 

“Hey, slept well?” He felt fingers entwine with his and smiled.

“Yeah, did you sleep?”

Suga closed his laptop and removed his glasses before slinging his legs over Daichi’s lap. “No, I had work to do and I had to take a shower and make coffee.” He hummed. “Are you hungry?” He asked, caressing his stomach slightly, both their cheeks flushing pink.

He heard his stomach growl and that was his answer.

They ate their breakfast mostly in silence, sometimes speaking up to talk about university, or what they could do during the week end, they were sitting down around Suga’s coffee table their legs touching under it, the both of them blushing every single time.

They both were so new to this, they were each other’s first boyfriend, first kiss (to Daichi at least), they couldn’t help but feel a little hot whenever their fingers brushed together.

“What would you like to do today?” Suga asked, sipping on his tea. 

Suga hadn’t actually planned to do anything interesting this week end. He kind of hoped they would stay inside all day, but it seemed a little boring when he thought about it.

“I know my brother has a game at his school this afternoon, he’s been talking about it for weeks. Against a powerhouse or something.”

“We can go if you want! We could have lunch outside and then go.” The ashen-haired man smiled and put a hand on his knee, gently caressing it. The gesture was probably innocent to his boyfriend, but he couldn’t help but feel a little hot down here. He needed a shower, preferably cold, preferably now.

“Yeah sure. I’ll check at what time the game starts but it usually does at around two.” He felt Suga’s thumb stroke his thigh under the table and he definitely needed a cold shower now. Or maybe an ice bath.

“Uhmm,” He shouldn’t think with his dick right now, he was stronger than this. “We could leave at 11:30, that leaves us some time to go there and eat something.” His hand was working its way higher up his thigh. “What would you like for lunch?”

“A-Anything is fine.” He hoped he didn’t hear him stutter. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

He removed his hand from his knee (more like his thigh) and Daichi sighed internally in relief. “Okay.” His boyfriend smiled. He gathered the plates and mugs and moved to stand up, walking towards the sink to wash the dishes. “I’ll bring you a towel.”

“Sure.” He stood up too and walked towards Suga’s room, taking clean clothes from his backpack and walking towards the bathroom.

When he closed the door behind himself, he took a deep breath and… he was totally freaking out. He felt like a goddamn teenage boy in heat (he was, kind of).

He honestly didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know why his body was reacting like this. No, he knew why it was reacting like this. Suga was so hot and his brain couldn’t think about anything but those delicate hands on his body, stroking him slowly until he came. He knew he shouldn’t think of this. Because they had only been dating for a week and he wasn’t here, in Tokyo with his boyfriend, to get laid.

He didn’t know whether or not he should wait for Suga to bring him a towel to start showering but he _really_ wanted to get undressed before the tightness in his pants became too much.

He waited a minute, then two, and gave up. He started undressing slowly, kind of hoping Suga would come in now, kind of hoping he would come in once he would be naked. 

It’s not like Suga had never seen him naked. Hell he even sent pictures of his cock to him. But it still felt awkward to get naked in front of him, for real this time.

He hoped in the bathtub and turned on the water, making it a little bit colder than he would have liked to make his boner disappear. He watched as the water ran down his body and looked at his own dick, wondering. Maybe he should just jerk off, get it over with. But his boyfriend could come in any seconds now.

And as if Suga had somewhat read his mind, he knocked on the bathroom door.

He looked towards the door, head thrown back under the water jet, and saw Suga’s head peering out of the doorway. Suga’s eyes drifted towards the floor quickly and his face flushed pink almost instantly. 

“I- I brought you a towel, I uh… I can bring another one for your hair if you want?” His voice came out squeaky. He couldn’t help but find it cute.

“Thanks, one is fine don’t worry.” He put the towel down next to the sink and moved to leave the bathroom.

“Wanna hop in?” The words came out of his mouth before he could even register it. He hadn’t meant to ask that.

Suga turned around to face him, he was blushing even harder than before, the top of his ears beginning to flush pink. “I took my shower earlier.” 

He fidgeted with his hands, looking down at the floor once again. “I’ll gladly join you tomorrow though.” He said, smugness clear in his voice before leaving the room.

Now it was his turn to blush. If he had thought he had succeeded to repress his hard on, it definitely didn’t work.

He leaned his forehead against the wall and considered jerking off. He was stronger than this. He turned the water cold, waited until it would pass and got out of the tub.

The burgundy towel felt soft against his skin and it definitely smelled like Suga. That sweet scent he had come to love. He put on some cologne and got changed into appropriate clothes (a t-shirt and shorts) before leaving the bathroom.

He still felt a little weird down there. He knew Suga was a tease, he had always been. Suga had always teased him more than everybody else on the court, he knew why now.

He went back to Suga’s bedroom to put his dirty clothes in his backpack and, as he did so, felt two arms wrap around his middle and a warm body pressing against his back.

“Would you like to have lunch at Yoshinoya?” He asked, hands going under his shirt and caressing the still shower-warm skin of his stomach. Guess he would have to walk with a boner all day now.

“Sure, I’ve never eaten there before actually.” He felt lips kiss at his nape and behind his ears, pair of hands going downwards and that’s when his breath hitched. Did Suga want to do these things now?

The ashen-haired man removed his hands from his shirt and Daichi turned around, leaning their foreheads together. “We should go.” Suga smiled, he just wanted to kiss him, and he did. Suga released a small gasp as their tongues slipped around each others. They had never kissed like that, wet sounds filling the room. 

Daichi tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth and released it gently. “Yeah, we should.” He whispered.

They left quickly after, they decided to take the metro before eating, getting as close to his brother’s school as possible. He felt kind of lost in the Tokyo streets, and he could tell Suga was too. They were going to a city in West Tokyo, it was quite far away, but they still had time. 

They had been holding hands the entire way there too. It felt nice, having Suga’s body close to his. Holding hands. Doing couple things together. They were both new to all of this, but that’s what made it feel so good.

They soon reached the Yoshinoya, ate their food mostly in silence, the way they looked at each other saying a lot. He could see Suga wanted this as much as he wanted it. Their fingers brushing against each other on the table, their knees bumping under it. 

Suga insisted on paying for the both of them and they walked towards Eijun’s high school to watch the game, his brother had been talking about it during the entire summer. It was against a team they had played before, and lost. Hopefully they would win this time.

They could hear the sound of metal clinking against leather balls from where they were, indicating that the game had either begun or that they were warming up. 

“Wanna sit down there?” Daichi asked, pointing towards a row of benches where a few people had already gathered, probably parents or college scouts. The third years were apparently retiring soon, and the school, having won the summer tournament this year, had gotten a lot more famous than it already was. 

Suga nodded and he took his hand in his, entwining their fingers as they made their way towards the benches. It was only 1:45 but he could tell the match was about to begin, the team having retrieved to their dugouts and probably being propped up by their respective coach. 

He hadn’t seen his brother yet, and he didn’t want Eijun to see him just yet; he knew how his brother was, wanting to impress Daichi, always failing. This had happened before in middle school.

“I’ll have to admit, I’ve never watched a baseball game before.” Suga said, interrupting his train of thought. 

“You’re telling me you don’t know a single thing about baseball, our national sport?” 

He received a light hit in the shoulder. “Hey!” 

“I know a few things like… positions?” 

He couldn’t help but blush at that. “Oh god that sounded really bad didn’t it?” Suga laughed, throwing his head back and exposing his long pale neck. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Sug.” He hadn’t even finished his sentence that Suga was already leaning in and pressing a feather-light kiss to his cheek. He loved this man so much.

Soon, Suga’s hand found its way up his thigh, and he just couldn’t stop smiling. Suga was there, it was real. He was his.

“What’s your brother’s position again?”

The ashen-haired man caressed his thigh with his thumb and Daichi had to bite his lip to suppress a moan. “He’s the ace.”

“Hmm. That’s like the main pitcher right?” He smiled, or smirked. He honestly didn’t know but there was something behind that smile that he didn’t like. His hand skidded upward, his pinky stroking the inside of his thigh gently. It was definitely a smirk.

“Y-yeah” He stuttered out, voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t know if he could hold out until they got home. He was so horny he felt like his cock would just wither and die.

They watched as the players filled the diamond slowly, shook hands and yelled their team’s chant. It reminded him of his high school years. He kind of missed it, being part of a team.

The game ended with a close score, 5-4 for his brother’s school and Daichi with a hard on. Suga had been teasing him the entire time and he hoped no one heard him whimper whenever his fingertips grazed his bulge through his jeans. 

His brother had pitched during the entire game, and even managed to advance to first base twice. All thanks to his bunting techniques. 

“Do you want to go see him?” Suga asked as he stood up, extending his hand. 

“I… don’t think I can stand up.” His face was flushed red with embarrassment but he still took Suga’s hand in his. 

“Want me to take care of it?” He finally got the proof Suga actually wanted to do these things with him. It sounded really tempting.

“As much as it sounds tempting I don’t think we should do these kind of things on a school ground, school we don’t even go to.”

Suga hummed, sound going straight to his dick once again and helped him stand up. “I love teasing you, watching your reactions. It’s fun.” 

“I’ll tease you for hours, you’ll see if it’s _fun_.” He deadpanned, making air-quotes with his fingers.

“Sounds good to me.” His boyfriend singsonged. He couldn’t wait to get home.

They walked towards the dugout slowly (he couldn’t go faster even if he wanted to if he had to be honest), Suga’s hand still linked with his.  He wasn’t used to public display of affection, kissing, hand holding, everything seemed awkward to him but at the same time, it just felt good, natural even.

“Eijun!” He could see him talk to someone on the other team from behind the net.

“Daichi!” He yelled before running towards his brother. “I’ll be right there! I need to ice my shoulder! Hi Suga-san!” He looked so happy to see his older brother again even though it had only been one week since he left. 

They went back to the benches (it honestly felt way more comfortable for Daichi to sit down) and waited for his brother to come back.

“You good?” Suga asked as he grazed his fingertips along his square jaw. The ashen-haired man was standing in front of him, holding his cheeks with both hands.

“I’m like two seconds away from coming in my pants, but yeah I’m good.” Daichi wrapped his arms around his middle and buried his face in his shirt. 

“Poor baby.” He brushed a strand of Daichi’s hair into place.

They were interrupted by his brother yelling their names. He walked towards them, an ice pack on his shoulder and a few of his friends following him.

“You remember Miyuki right?” He smiled and Daichi stood up quickly to greet his friends, too quickly even, causing him to wince. 

“Yes of course, hi.” He shook Miyuki’s hand and leaned against Suga. 

“Did you hurt yourself?” The younger boy asked, visibly worried for his brother.

He didn’t know what to say and Suga seemed to notice, speaking up. “He fell of the bed this morning.” He and Suga shared a knowing gaze and smirked internally.

“Oooh okay I hope it wasn’t too bad! Why are you here anyway? Don’t you have to go to class on Monday?”

“I’m just here for the week end, I’m visiting Suga.” He watched as his brother looked at their linked hands, a huge smile plastered on his face. 

“I see! Well thank you for coming to watch us play!” His smile widened (it was astounding how big his smile was really) and turned around, seeing as his team left to go somewhere else. 

“I think we have to go.” Miyuki said, shaking both Suga’s and Daichi’s hands “It was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.” Suga answered with a smile of his own and with a wave of their hand, the two younger boys left. 

“Want to go home too?” Suga smirked, his fingertips dancing against Daichi’s forearm, watching as goosebumps erupted on his skin.

“I’ll die if we don’t go home now.” Suga threw his head back in laughter and he just wanted to kiss his neck, mark him up, make him his. He would be able to do that soon. He felt like crying.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The way back had felt like hours to Daichi, mere minutes to Suga. He truly was having fun right now. Watching the usually stoic and composed captain fall apart.

The train was packed when they had to go back to his apartment, no seats available so they had to stand up. A perfect occasion for Suga to caress Daichi’s cock though his jeans without being seen.

He could see how hard Daichi was trying to repress his moan, biting on his lips and closing his eyes. He looked so tense but he knew it would be worth it once they got home.

He was actually a little nervous. He was sure Daichi was too. They both had never had sex and sure, Suga had done kinkier things but he knew it would be different with Daichi there. He looked calm and serene on the outside but he was totally freaking out on the inside. That’s what he was good at anyway, hiding his emotions.

“Are you ok?” Daichi asked suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts. Maybe he was good at hiding his emotions from everyone but Daichi.

“Yeah I just can’t wait to get home.” He smiled and cupped him through his jeans, earning him a groan. 

There were two stops left and the train had started emptying out a little. He eventually stopped caressing his boyfriend’s crotch (much to Daichi’s relief), but instead began whispering sweet nothings and dirty words into his ear, making him flush even harder than he already was.

When they finally reached their stop, Suga took Daichi’s hand in his, dragging him towards his apartment. They got there in record time, less than five minutes.

He didn’t care how needy he seemed but the first thing he did when he closed the door was graze his jaw with his lips and opened Daichi’s jeans, the other man letting out a loud whine at the deliverance.

Suga’s arms latched around his neck and he couldn’t help but stare dumbly at his boyfriend.

“What is it?” Daichi asked, grinding a little against Suga’s leg, he could tell Daichi was desperate for friction, he was too if he had to be honest.

“I really want you.” He whispered seductively, he was so far gone and his eyes fluttered close as Daichi started nipping at his neck. Definitely too far gone.

“You can have me now.” Daichi lifted him up, carrying him to the bedroom before dropping him on the bed softly, the mattress dipping under both their weights.

Suga started squirming with discomfort under the black-haired man, his erection being too much for him. Daichi, like the good boyfriend that he is, unbuttoned his pants and slid them down his legs, revealing a wet patch of precum on his underwear.  

“I see I wasn’t the only desperate one.” Daichi whispered, lips leaving blazing trails of heat across the flesh of his thighs. He could feel his boyfriend hot breath against the spit-wet spots, making him shiver.

“D-Daichi.” He brought his hand to his boyfriend short-cropped hair and tugged at it lightly.

“What is it, babe?” Daichi gave him a quick peck on the lips.

He shivered at the pet name, he wasn’t used to Daichi using pet names. But he kind of liked it. “Can you- Can we…” He trailed off and closed his eyes. He was so scared.

His boyfriend stroked his cheek in reassurance. “We can stop if you want Sug, just tell me, we won’t do anything you don’t want to.” Daichi was so sweet and affectionate, it helped him soothe his nerves a little.

“No… I want to do this.” He propped himself up on his elbows and kissed Daichi on the tip of his nose. “Could you maybe sit up against the wall?” 

The other man did as he was told, removing his shirt as he did so. He had seen Daichi shirtless multiple times but he never got tired of this sight. Daichi watched as Suga crawled on his lap, dry mouthed and breathless. 

“I’ve got condoms in my bag.” He breathed out as Suga nipped at his neck, slowly going downwards. He still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, and he still was a bit nervous about it all. He wondered how Daichi could be so composed right now.

“Can we not use them?” He dipped his tongue in Daichi’s navel and he felt a hand grip at his hair, the ashen-haired man whining loudly. That, he was into. He glanced up at Daichi, eyelashes fluttering nervously as he saw Daichi’s confused face.

“You, Sugawara Koushi, don’t want to have safe sex?” Suga furrowed his brows. He wanted safe sex. He just didn’t know if he wanted _actual_ sex.

“Wait- No of course I want protected sex!” Daichi’s face twisted in confusion. “Can we not… You know…Uh…” He took a deep breath, closed his eyes. It was so hard to say it out loud but he had to do it. He made a circle with two of his fingers with his right hand and used his left index to approach the circle in a lewd gesture, still not opening his eyes.

He felt Daichi shift under him and opened one of his eyes, slowly dropping his hands in his lap. He  watched as Daichi’s arm wrapped around his middle and held him closer. 

“Getting shy now? You should have told me you didn’t want to do this.” He whispered kindly.

“I want to, but I just think I’ll just snap your dick in half if you put it in there!” He hadn’t meant to raise his voice and he felt kind of bad. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.” Daichi’s hands were lightly rubbing his back and he could already feel some of his nervousness leaving him. Daichi was too good for him.

“I ruined the mood, didn’t I?” He chuckled and he could feel Daichi’s hands going downwards, cupping his ass.

“Well, we’re both still hard…” He snapped the waistband of his boxer against his hip and smiled into his neck. “I’ll do anything you want me to.” 

“Y-You sure?”

The only answer he got was a hum and a kiss to his neck, a second one on his jaw and a third one on his mouth, Suga’s mouth opened for Daichi and their tongues gently slid against one another, they weren’t in a rush. They had all the time in the world. 

His hips started moving on their own in his boyfriend lap, friction working over their sensitive areas. They were moaning into each other mouth, desperate for more friction, more tongue, more everything.

He felt Daichi’s hand tug at the hem of his shirt and he lifted his arms so he could remove it, breaking the kiss only for a few seconds. Daichi was still in his jeans and he just wondered how he could do it. It was borderline painful in just his boxers and he wondered how Daichi felt. 

He got off his lap quickly, Daichi whining at the loss but soon let out a loud moan when Suga’s thumb slid under both his jeans and boxer’s waistband, sliding them off carefully, his erection finally freed. 

It’s big, he thought.

“Thanks.” Had he said that out loud? “Kinda want to see yours too.” He said seductively, He brought his lips to one of Suga’s nipple, sucking on it slightly as he removed his boxers.

“What is it?” He asked, looking at Daichi who was smiling dumbly at his… cock?

“You didn’t shave the little tuft.” The brunette said as he caressed the blonde hairs at the base of his cock. 

He shivered at the intimate touch and it just made him smile. He had always felt a little self conscious about his body and Daichi’s words were so sincere they just erased any trace of self-consciousness left in his body. 

A little _ah_ slipped from between Daichi’s lips when Suga dragged his nails down the underside of his forearm, he watched as goosebumps erupted all across his skin, hairs standing up at the sensation.

The ashen haired boy sat down on one of his thigh and started rocking his hips over it, letting his erection rub over the soft skin. One of Suga’s hands was scrambling for leverage on Daichi’s chest, the other making its way down towards his cock, finally rubbing at his achingly hard length.

“I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that.”

“Doing what?” He squeezed at his tip, letting his thumb rub over the slit, smearing precum all over the head of his shaft.

“T-This!” Daichi moaned, rocking into Suga’s fist. 

Daichi leaned into Suga to rest their foreheads together, kissing him gently every time he rolled his hips forward. He felt a tongue slip past his lips, he loved kissing like this. It felt so much more intimate, it just felt _good_. Daichi really was a good kisser.

Daichi latched onto Suga’s neck with his lips, biting at the soft skin gently before sucking on his neck, he let the skin free a couple of seconds later, a little bruise starting to form. He inspected the mark, smiling dumbly at him, hands smoothing up and down his side as he kept rocking his hips against his thigh.

He was overwhelmed with sensations, between Daichi’s mouth on his body and his hips grinding against Daichi, he could feel he was close.

Daichi looked so handsome, skin shiny with perspiration, gaze turning a little more lustful with every touch, every rock of his hips. He was perfect for him; he didn’t want this to be over, ever.

“Am I hurting you?” The brunette asked, concern clear in his voice as he removed his hand from his cock to stroke at his tear-streaked cheek. He hadn’t even realised Daichi was touching his dick, hell he didn’t even realise he had been crying.

“N-No.” He sniffled loudly, you’re stronger than this. “I just- I love you so much.” He smiled, eyes glistening with tears.

He was still rocking his hips against Daichi’s thigh, the friction soon becoming too much. He bit into Daichi’s neck to muffle his moans as he came all over both their stomachs, Daichi following soon after with a small but audible ‘I love you’. He stroked his boyfriend through his orgasm, Daichi whispering soothing words against Suga’s pale skin. It felt like heaven, being able to hold Daichi so close to him after all these years of longing for him, for his body.

The brunette brought Suga’s hand to his mouth and he couldn’t help but let out a confused noise, soon turning into a small moan as he licked at his cum covered fingers, locking eye contact. Did Daichi just…?

“Did you just eat my cum?”

“Yeah?” Why did he sound so calm about this?

“Daichi!”

“It tastes good alright?” He said, both their cheeks turning crimson at the confession. He couldn’t wait to discover more of Daichi’s kinky side.

Suga got off Daichi’s lap, plucking a few tissues from the box on his nightstand and wiping the cum off his and his boyfriend stomach. He threw the dirty tissue on the floor, he was still a gross teenage boy after all. 

“Maybe we should shower?” Daichi spoke up after a while, they were both still sitting up against the wall, Suga’s head on his shoulder.

“Can we lie down for a bit? I want to cuddle.” 

Daichi, like the good boyfriend that he is, didn’t say no to Suga’s request and laid down on the bed, Suga soon joining him.

The room was stuffy but they couldn’t bother opening the window. He felt so good in Daichi’s arms, he could stay like that forever.

“I don’t want to leave.” Daichi said after a few minutes, he swore he was seconds away from falling asleep, Daichi’s hands stroking his hair.

“I don’t want _you_ to leave.”

Their next break would be four months from now, he could go back to Sendai for the week end, just like Daichi did. The only problem was homework. He knew he wouldn’t get any homework done if Daichi was next to him, and it wouldn’t get any better now that he knew what sex with Daichi felt like.

“We could FaceTime.”

“Are you insinuating we should have phone sex?” He laughed.

“No. Well yes but no.” He felt Daichi lips leave a trail of wet kisses against his neck and he knew that if he continued he would get hard again.

“Think you can hold off until winter break?”

“I don’t know, _can you_?”

“Of course I can.” He could feel Daichi smile against his neck.

“Well, let’s meet again for winter break then.” 

“Yeah, let’s.” Daichi held him even closer against his chest. He loved the way he held him, strong arms wrapping his middle, kisses being peppered all over his neck and shoulders. Daichi’s arms felt like home. He didn’t ever want to leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter will be the next one which should be coming in a week, thank you everyone for all the comments and kudos! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi’s birthday was today and he would meet up with him in thirty minutes. If only he knew how to put this stupid kimono on.

Waiting for winter break was long and quite hard if he had to be honest but he knew it would be all worth it once they would reunite again and it was, really.

Sure phone sex was great, phone sex with Daichi truly was great. He never could have thought Daichi would be such a natural at dirty talking, but it really wasn’t the same as having _real_ sex with his boyfriend. Sex with him was incredible, it was just as if he knew where it felt good, hitting in all the right places every single time. He was quite honestly perfect for him.

Tomorrow was New Year’s Eve and Daichi’s birthday. Mostly Daichi’s birthday and he still didn’t know what to do or what to give him as a present which is why he asked Oikawa for help. Oikawa always had good gift ideas. So that’s why he was there, at the cafe near Seijoh, cafe he had come to know quite well during summer break. 

Oikawa was, unsurprisingly, late and Suga had decided to wait for him inside, he didn’t know what would come out of their little meeting, but he was kind of excited to see what they would come up with. He did have some ideas, something that might involve lingerie and Daichi being tied up to his bed, but he didn’t know if it was a good idea. 

“Hi Kou-chan!” A familiar voice said as Suga continued scrolling through his social medias.

When he looked up from his phone, he was met with a cheerful Oikawa and a not-so-enthusiastic looking Iwaizumi. Well he hadn’t actually asked Iwaizumi to come, and it was quite embarrassing to talk about these kind of things when Iwaizumi was there but he guessed he could really use another person around here to help him.

Oikawa sat down opposite of him while Iwaizumi left to get their drinks, Suga taking the opportunity to show his friend the freakiest stuff he had come up with. He put his phone down on the table, opening the notes app.

“Do you think he’ll say yes to that?” He asked, pointing at one of the things that was written on his phone.

“Say yes to you putting something in his ass? Isn’t he a top?” Oikawa laughed, Suga nodded. 

“Definitely not then.” He kind of guessed it if he had to be honest. 

“Why?”

“Well, I know Iwa-chan won’t let me go anywhere near his ass. So if you want this to be a nice gift, maybe you should first know if he’d like it, but that would ruin the surprise.” He said as he propped his chin on his hand.

Before Suga could reply, Iwaizumi came back with their drinks and set them down on the table before sitting down. Suga definitely was embarrassed now.

“You guys can continue your conversation you know.” Iwaizumi sipped on his drink before unlocking his phone, the two other men staring at him dumbfounded.

“Uhh… I guess I’m not gonna do that then.”

“Have you considered doing a live with him?” Iwaizumi asked, eyes still on his phone. Suga couldn’t help but let out a small distressed sound. Did he know about him being a camboy?

“A live?” He brought his nails to his mouth, not quite biting them, he just needed to feel them under his teeth.

“Yes that camboy thing you used to do.” He looked up from his phone and looked at Suga, who was glaring at Oikawa.

“Oikawa! I can’t believe you told him!”

“Your secret is safe with Iwa-chan!” The brunette exclaimed and gave him a big, toothy grin.

Suga didn’t say anything for a few seconds, thinking. It was a good idea, it truly was and he couldn’t say he hadn’t considered doing it with Daichi but he didn’t know what the other man thought about this, it felt a little risky. “Whatever I don’t think he’ll like it anyway.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Suga blinked. Now what?

“What?”

Iwaizumi cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“We were uhm… talking about these kind of things and he mentioned that he wouldn’t mind being watched while you guys did… that.”

Suga’s mind went blank for a few seconds. He and Daichi had never talked about this, doing a live together. He remembers Daichi asking him if he would ever do a live again, an underlying question maybe?

“Iwa-chan, you can say sex you know.” Oikawa poked him in the ribs and grinned.

“Shut up, I’m not as shameless as you two are.”

“So what you’re saying is that Daichi would be open to… doing a live with me?” Why did he make it sound like a question? That’s what Iwaizumi had said right? 

He just couldn’t believe his boyfriend would want to do that. After all that happened between them because of that camboy thing and besides, he had deleted the app anyway. But maybe Iwaizumi was right. It kind of was a good idea.

“I mean he didn’t say it like _that_ ,” He took a sip of his drink and continued. “but he did imply it. Or at least said he would like it if he was being watched while you guys are doing it.”

He never thought Daichi would be into exhibitionism. He never thought Daichi would be into any of the thing he was into if he was being honest. Daichi looked like a vanilla guy but he was definitely not _that_. He was one of the kinkiest person he knew, and he didn’t say that just because he was his boyfriend, it was true and he had seen it up close. 

The first time they had sex was when Daichi had visited him in Tokyo and he could tell he was trying to hold back, maybe it was also due to the fact they had done it in Suga’s bath and not in his bed. The second time they had sex though was a whole different story. He guessed the fact they hadn’t seen in each other in four months had helped a lot, but Daichi had definitely been rougher in his movements, more confident even. Daichi hid his desires quite well now that he thought about it.

“Alright, I think I’m gonna do it.” 

Oikawa choked on his drink, coughing a few times before speaking up. 

“Kou-chan I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I got over it, Oikawa.” Had he really? “And besides we’ll get money so I could even get him a small gift afterwards.” 

He watched as Oikawa leaned back in his seat, pensive. “Just don’t do something you’re not comfortable with for him is what I meant.” 

“Tooru is right.” Iwaizumi butted in. “Don’t do it if you don’t want to, because knowing Daichi, he’ll see it if you’re forcing yourself.”

“I know, I’m not forcing myself I swear!” Before the other two could even reply, Suga’s phone buzzed in on the table. A text from Daichi. “Wait.”

From : Dai 

Mon 30 Dec 3:38PM

_are you home right now?_

To : Dai 

Mon 30 Dec 3:38PM

not right now but i can be home in like 15 minutes :)

why?

From : Dai 

Mon 30 Dec 3:39PM

_[attached document]_

He clicked on the picture and frowned. On it was displayed two pieces of fabric, a white one with burgundy goldfishes on it and a burgundy one with white goldfishes on it. Clearly matching clothes.

From : Dai 

Mon 30 Dec 3:39PM

_my mom gave me this for you, for tomorrow_

“What is it?” Oikawa asked, concern clear in his voice.

He looked up from his phone and looked at the two men who had matching expressions. “Do you know what this is?” He showed them the picture, placing his phone on the table.

Iwaizumi zoomed in on the picture, inspecting it. “They look like kimonos.” 

Why would Daichi give him kimonos? 

“Oh kinky.” 

Suga raised his eyebrows “What’s kinky about kimonos?”  

“It’s easier for like… quickies in publ-“ Iwaizumi hit him in the ribs before he could finish his sentence. “Ow! You brute!” 

“You sound like you know firsthand.” Suga laughed.

“Well ye-”

“No!” Iwaizumi put his hand on Oikawa’s mouth to shut him up, quickly removing it with a groan. “Stop licking my hand, that’s gross.” 

He watched as Oikawa pursed his lips in a pout and as Iwaizumi linked his hand in Oikawa’s under the table. He could never be mad for too long.

“Anyway! See, he clearly wants public sex.” 

Right. Daichi’s text. He honestly didn’t know what to think about it. And also he should maybe answer him.

He thought back to the ride back to his apartment when Daichi came to Tokyo four months before. How hard Daichi had gotten in the train even though there were people all around them, people who could’ve seen them. Maybe the couple in front of him was right. 

He took his phone again and sent a text to Daichi. He kind of wanted to know the reason why Daichi wanted to give him kimonos.

To : Dai 

Mon 30 Dec 3:46PM

for tomorrow?

From : Dai 

Mon 30 Dec 3:46PM

_new year’s eve? you said you wanted to go to the shrine together?_

He thought about it for a few seconds. He does remember saying that, probably during one of their post-sex cuddling sessions. Had he mentioned anything about kimonos though?

To : Dai

Mon 30 Dec 3:47PM

yes yes!! can be at your place in 15 minutes? sounds good for you?

From : Dai

Mon 30 Dec 3:47PM

_my parents and brother are home_

Oh? Did Daichi want to…?

To : Dai

Mon 30 Dec 3:47PM

hmmm ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) will be there in 15 minutes then!

Suga moved to stand up and put on his coat, grabbing his empty cup to put it in the trash. “I’ve got to go. I’m sorry guys, Daichi wants to meet up and give me something.”

“Give you that dick-“ Iwaizumi hit him in the shoulder, earning him a groan.

“I mean he’s technically not wrong.”

Oikawa laughed and Iwaizumi looked like he had seen a ghost. “Have you always been like this or has Oikawa’s personality tainted you?”

“Both.” Oikawa and Suga said in unison. And it was true. 

“Anyway,” Iwaizumi said, ignoring them. “Do you know what you’re gonna do tomorrow?”

Suga bit his lip. “Yeah.”  He kind of knew what to do, he just couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. “Are you guys going to the shrine tomorrow?”

Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa. An unspoken question. He just hummed in response. “Have fun with Daichi.” Iwaizumi smiled and with that, Suga left to join his boyfriend.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The bitter cold of winter was making its way through his clothes, Daichi squeezing his arms against his chest to protect himself from the chill.

He was sitting down in the stairs leading to Suga’s doorway. He had left 5 minutes before he had intended to, and he was kind of regretting it right now. After a few minutes of waiting, he heard quick footsteps and ragged breathing coming his way and when he looked up he couldn’t help but smile at the sight before him.

Even before they started dating, Daichi had noticed that Suga was pretty. He was probably the most ethereal being he had ever seen and he wasn’t only saying that because he was his boyfriend. He was saying that because it was true. Suga looked pretty in every situation, even after running, face shiny with perspiration and hair sticking to his forehead. Maybe it was gross, but it was the truth.

“Have you been waiting long?” Suga asked, extending his hand to help him stand up. He didn’t let go of his hand once he was standing up and instead squeezed it softly.

“Five minutes maybe.” He followed him into the house, removing his shoes in the genkan. He hadn’t been to Suga’s place in what felt like months (it had been months) but it still felt as warm as he remembered. He followed Suga to the kitchen, still holding the two kimonos against his chest before setting them down on the counter. 

He watched as Suga grabbed two mugs (noting that he was still climbing on top of that damned bar stool despite being already tall enough to reach them) and walked up behind him, circling his arms around his waist. 

“Someone’s clingy.” Suga said, filling the kettle before turning it on. 

“Sex-starved would be a better word.” He gave him a quick peck on his neck and detached himself from his boyfriend reluctantly. 

“We had sex yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that.” Suga laughed and turned around to face Daichi who was literally _pouting_. “The wait will be worth it tomorrow.” 

He let out a confused noise. “Tomorrow…?” A hum. “Am I getting birthday sex?” Another hum. He felt like a kid on Christmas day.

“Only,” He booped his nose with his index finger and continued, “if you’re nice.” He gave him a small peck on the cheek and turned around again to fill the two mugs with water. 

It felt really domestic, being in a kitchen with his boyfriend, talking about whatever. He wanted to be like this with Suga. Just doing basic activities around the house together would make him happy. He wanted to be with Suga at all time, he didn’t care if he seemed needy he was just so in love with him, it almost hurt.

“You’re thinking too much.” Suga said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He handed him his mug before leaning against the counter.

“Just thinking about how to be a good boy.” He whispered into his mug. As he was about to take a sip he remembered the water would probably boiling hot and instead set it down on the kitchen island.

“Uhm well, I know I could use a nice massage.” He grabbed one of Daichi’s arm and scratched his nails along the underside of his forearm, eliciting a small groan from him.

“A massage against sex? Seems fair.” They both chuckled and fell into the rhythm of Suga’s nail raking down the underside of his arms. It was good. The way they were here, together, touching. It was just good. He wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

He watched as Suga grabbed one of the kimonos and smiled into the fabric. “So you want to wear matching kimonos tomorrow?”

“My mom wants us to wear matching kimonos.” He corrected.

“Wait your mom? Your mom knows about us?”

He actually hadn’t told his mom that he and Suga were dating but, he couldn’t really hide anything from his mom. “Well uhm…I think she saw the condoms in the bathroom trash can?”

“Daichi!” Suga cried out, hitting his shoulder lightly. “What will your mom think about me now?” 

“Well now she refers to you as her son-in-law instead of my best friend.” 

Suga stared at him, unimpressed for a few seconds before bursting into laughter against Daichi’s shoulder. “Did she give you the talk?”

“Why do you think I told you to meet up at your house instead of mine?” He reasoned, bringing a hand to Suga’s hair before combing through it with his fingers. He had always loved the way Suga’s hair felt against his calloused hands, all soft and shiny. 

“My saviour.” Suga smile grew against his neck and when he lifted up his head to face him he couldn’t help but touch Daichi’s cheek, tilting his face towards his own so they could kiss.

Daichi knew he wouldn’t be getting anything today so, when he felt Suga’s tongue slipping past his lips, he had to think really hard as to not get too riled up.

They broke the kiss a few seconds later, much to both their dismay but they both knew what it could have led to if they had kept kissing for a few more seconds.

Their teas had gotten colder and they fell into a comfortable silence as they drank them. 

“Which kimono will you wear?” Suga asked after some time.

“I thought the burgundy one would look better on you but I don’t mind.” 

His boyfriend took the burgundy kimono in his hands, caressing the fabric softly. “It reminds me of our old sport uniform.”

“You looked great in that.”

He smiled, wide and soft, eyes crinkling in the corner. “You’re going to make me blush.” Except he was already blushing and Daichi was too now. “Should we go to my room?”

He smirked. “I thought you said no sex?”

“Already forgot about my massage?

“No, I didn’t.” (He did).

They finished their tea quickly and Suga led them to his bedroom, flopping down on his bed as soon as he entered the room. Daichi walked to Suga’s private bathroom and started digging through his cabinets. “Do you have massage oil?” 

“You can use lube, I should have some in there somewhere.” The boy called back from the bedroom.

When Daichi opened another cabinet his eyes directly landed on the three different bottle of lube (who needed this much lube anyway) but decided not to take them. 

“I’m not gonna use lube to massage you.”

He heard a small sigh and feet padding towards him on the dark wood floor and then felt a warm body pressing against his side. He watched as his boyfriend extended his arm to grab a glass jar and handed it to him. 

“Coconut oil?” He read out loud. “Shouldn’t you use that for food?”

“No silly. You can use it for your skin and other stuff.” He smiled before standing up, the smile soon turning into a smirk. “I heard it’s also great as lube.” 

“Suga!” His boyfriend grinned and extended his hand to help him stand up. “Tomorrow better be worth it.”

“It will be. You don’t have to worry about that.” He tugged at the hem of both his sweater and his shirt before bringing them up and over his head, dropping the clothes on the floor ungracefully. Daichi watched as his boyfriend flopped onto the bed and walked over to him, coconut oil in hand.

He had never thought he would ever be giving a massage to his best- boyfriend. His boyfriend. He had never thought Suga would ever be his boyfriend if he had to be honest. He threw a leg over Suga, straddling his butt and opened the glass jar. “Is it supposed to be solid?”

“Take a small chunk, warm it up in your hands, then you’ll see.”

Daichi did as he was told, noticing that the once solid material had now melted in his hands. He watched as a few droplets of oil landed on Suga’s back, the boy beneath him shivering lightly. Goosebumps started appearing on his boyfriend’s pale skin and he couldn’t help but smile at himself. He was the one behind all that. He was the one making Suga shiver with pleasure. He was just so happy.

Suga rested his head on his arms and let out a small moan as Daichi began to spread the oil over every inch of skin. He knead his hands into his boyfriend shoulder, slowly going down his back, going back up again. His thumbs began rubbing in slow circles in between his shoulders blade and from the way Suga responded, he thought he was doing a pretty good job despite it being his first massage. 

His boyfriend let out a louder hum when his hands reached the waistband of his jeans, it was so tempting to just slide them off along with his underwear and eat him out but, he doesn’t. Because he promised Suga he would wait.

“You’re thinking about sexual things aren’t you?” His boyfriend whispered beneath him. He wondered how he was so good at seeing through him without even _seeing_ him.

“It’s hard not to when your _sexy_ plump ass is right beneath me.” He pressed his lips to Suga’s shoulder, licking at the coconut-flavoured skin before blowing hot air over the wet patch, making Suga shiver once again. 

“Dai… please.” He whimpered and Daichi can see Suga biting his lips from where he is, towering over Suga’s body. He smoothed his hand over his sides and got off of his body slowly, sitting against the headboard, much to the other boy’s dismay.

“I’m so hard, it hurts.” Suga laughed into his arms. He looked at his own lap and noticed that yes, he was hard too.

“Want me to take care of it?” He knew Suga had said no sex but maybe he would say yes to a quickie?

“I’ll take care of it in my bathroom, you take care of yourself here if you want.” He said as he pushed himself up on his hands. 

“Suga-“ He was cut off by a quick peck on his lips and watched as Suga left to go to his bathroom, wriggling out of his jeans awkwardly in front of Daichi and he couldn’t help but laugh. He was so in love with this man.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Daichi’s birthday was today and he would meet up with him in thirty minutes. If only he knew how to put this stupid kimono on.

His mother wasn’t here, having gone to Kyoto to visit his grandma so he couldn’t ask her. He guessed he would have to look up tutorials on ‘how to put on a kimono’ on youtube. So here he was, sitting down on his bed in nothing but his burgundy panties that he had bought that very day, just for his boyfriend. He, thankfully, found a tutorial pretty quickly and followed the steps one by one very carefully.

He looked at his reflection in the bathroom’s mirror once he was almost done, enjoying the way the fabric looked on him and he thought that, yes, Daichi had been right, burgundy truly was his colour.

He looked at the video again to see how to put on the belt and that’s when his eyes landed on the camboy website bookmark on his search engine. He was a little scared. He didn’t know how Daichi would react to this, didn’t know if he would like it. He thought it would be alright. If his boyfriend didn’t want to do a livestream they could just do something else. It’s not like he didn’t have other ideas. He had plenty of ideas. 

It was almost time for him to leave and he looked at his reflection one more time. He thought that maybe he could put on some make up, Daichi loved seeing him with make up on, loved putting it on even more. There was a faint touch of gold highlighter swept across his cheekbones and a thin layer of clear gloss on his lips that tasted like peach. It was barely noticeable but it made his lips even more kissable and that’s just what he wanted. For Daichi to kiss him, to want him.

He left his house quickly after, making sure there was enough cat food for his cat in his bowl before leaving. He hadn’t seen his cat that much the past few days, probably due to the fact that he hadn’t been home much either. His feet led him to Daichi’s doorstep instinctively and before he could even knock, the door swung open and he was met with a _very_ excited-looking Daichi whose jaw literally dropped when he saw him. 

“What- Wait- Y-you look amazing!” Daichi said with a huge smile and he could feel the tip of his ears flushing red with embarrassment. He didn’t even have time to react before his boyfriend pulled him by the hand and led him inside the house, not bothering to wait for him to remove his shoes and then led him towards the kitchen. 

Daichi’s mother was there, along with his father and who he guessed was his grandpa, all three of them wearing kimonos.

“Oh my! Suga-kun you look stunning.” Daichi’s mother said when she turned around, the two other men nodding at her statement. “Daichi go get my phone will you?”

Daichi did as he was told and let go of Suga’s hand reluctantly. Daichi was acting weirdly, almost like a little kid but he thought that maybe it was due to the fact today was his birthday and that they were spending it together, just the two of them. 

When Daichi came back, phone in hand Suga couldn’t help but smile and drink in the sight. His boyfriend looked handsome in his kimono (when did he not look handsome anyway?) and the fact that they were wearing matching clothes made him impossibly happy. He was so glad to be doing this with Daichi. He hoped they would be doing this more in the future.

“Earth to Suga?” His boyfriend said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah?” 

“Want to take a pic before we leave?” Daichi’s smile was impossibly wide and he nodded in response, following Daichi towards the staircase where they had already taken multiple pictures ever since their friendship started. He wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

Daichi stood on the step above his and held onto his waist tightly and rested his chin on top of Suga’s head, kissing it lightly before doing so. 

His mom took a few pictures (a lot actually) before Daichi deemed it would be a _great idea_ to carry him bridal style. He bent over slightly and brought his forearms underneath Suga’s knee before lifting him up the floor, Suga yelping in the process. 

“You’re such a dork.” He laughed, holding onto Daichi’s neck in fear of being let go.

“You’re in love with that dork.”

“That I am.” He says softly and Daichi dropped his head, touching his lips gently, carefully. Daichi’s lips were so soft, a little bit chapped from the cold of winter. His toes were curling in his shoes, passion running across his body.

“Boys, I can take a picture of you kissing but keep it PG-rated please.” They broke the kiss and that’s when Suga remembered that yes, they were still at Daichi’s house, still in front of Daichi’s mom. They both chuckled and his boyfriend dropped him on the floor slowly before walking towards the front door, Suga following close behind.

“Daichi, are you sleeping at Suga-kun tonight?” His father asked when he finished putting on his shoes. 

They hadn’t actually talked about what they were going to do after the festival but when Suga had told him the day before they would be having ‘birthday sex’ there was also the underlying assumption that Daichi would stay the night. 

“Yeah I am.” He released a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding and when Daichi stood up the first thing he did was hold onto Suga’s hand. 

“Have fun tonight boys.” His mom said as she opened the door to the both of them and handed something to Daichi he couldn’t quite see. “Use protection.” Is what he thought he heard, he wasn’t sure and he kind of hope it wasn’t but, when he looked at Daichi’s flushed cheeks, he quickly understood.

They heard the front door close behind them once they were in the streets following the few people that they guessed were heading to the festival and shrine. They didn’t say anything for a few seconds, too embarrassed to speak up but he couldn’t help but be curious as to what Daichi’s mom gave him.

“What did your mom give you?”

“C-Condoms.” He was holding onto the small packet tightly so that no one could see what it was but Suga managed to take it out of his hand. 

“Did your mom give us… one of her own condoms?”

“I don’t want to think about it.” Daichi’s face turned from a frown to a smile and it soon turned into laughter, Suga following quickly after. He was so glad both his and Daichi’s parents were supportive of this. They were one of the lucky ones he guessed. 

He tightened his hold on Daichi’s hand and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder as they walked. Daichi was the perfect headrest, being a few centimetres taller than Suga. He was the perfect boyfriend as a whole anyway.

“When should we get home?” Daichi asked as they reached the entrance of the park where the festival was held, Suga sat down on the second bench after the entrance, the meet-up point he and Oikawa had agreed on to a few days before. There was something hiding behind that question and when he looked at Daichi’s eyes, he instantly knew what it was.

“Eager aren’t you, captain?” 

He watched the blush that started crawling up his neck at the mention of the word captain, he knew how to turn Daichi into a mess and he was determined to do just that tonight. “I’ve been thinking about that birthday sex you promised me all day.” 

“Mmmh, it could happen now. Or at 11:59. But, I can give you only one clue and its that it will happen when you least expect it.” He said seductively as he brought his hands to Daichi’s waist who was still standing in front of him. Something that Daichi was probably regretting now because that’s when Suga decided to caress his cock ever so slightly with his thumbs through the fabric of his kimono.

“You’re so unfair.” He managed to hiss out. He knew that if he kept going, there would be a very obvious tent in Daichi’s kimono and he didn’t want his boyfriend to go to jail for public indecency on his birthday so he dropped his hand to his lap instead.

“Everything has its price.” He smirked because it was true, everything did have its price. 

It was 8pm when Iwaizumi and Oikawa arrived, the two boys sharing a knowing smile with Suga. The other couple led the way towards the festival and the more they approached it, the more people there were. He held onto Daichi’s arm tightly as they approached the crowd and very sneakily slid a finger in the sleeve of his kimono, raking his fingernails up and down his forearm. 

He could feel Daichi warm chocolate eyes on him but it didn’t stop him from continuing, didn’t stop him from applying more pressure on the soft, hot and tanned flesh. His boyfriend let out a small, almost quiet gasp against Suga’s hair when his fingers reached the crease of his elbow. He had learned a few days ago that this was, weirdly, one of Daichi’s most sensitive zones. He loved watching the way his body responded to every touch, the fact that _he_ was doing this to him and no one else.

Suga threw him glances every now and then, watching the festival’s lights flash against his skin as they walked by. They sat down on one of the picnic table with the other couple and him and Oikawa stood up to grab their food. If someone had told him they would be here, all four of them,  a year ago, he would have never believed them. He would have never thought he would ever be friends with the rival team and yet, here he was.

“You look great. That look’s very _refreshing_ on you.” He noted the use of the word refreshing, a nickname that had seemed to stay between the two of them.

“Thank you!” 

“You look nervous. You didn’t give him his gift yet?” He always wondered how Oikawa could so easily see right through him but then he thought, he could too.

The people in front of them got their food and it was their turn to get theirs. They ordered two bowls of yakisoba and four yakitori sticks before resuming their conversation. 

“I am a little, I guess.” He gave money to the person in the food stall and grabbed the two bowls of yakisoba. 

“And no we haven’t. I’m trying to rile him up a little bit.” 

“Naughty.” He laughed, eyes crinkling in the corner. “I’m sure it will be fine. Just look at him,” Suga turned around to look at his boyfriend who seemed to be having a very intense conversation with Iwaizumi. 

“He looks really happy just hanging out with you.” He smiled at him reassuringly and he couldn’t help but smile back because it was true. Daichi did look very happy.

Oikawa took the last bit of their food and they walked back to their table quietly. The first thing that Daichi did when he sat down was put a hand on his thigh. An anchor. That’s what Daichi was for him. That’s what he was for Daichi. “You good?”

“Now I am.” Daichi smile grew impossibly wider and he wondered how that was even possible. 

“Get a room you two!” Iwaizumi said, laughter in his voice and the only answer Suga could give was to stick out his tongue.

Their conversation flew easily as they started eating their food, and he wondered how he got so lucky to have such wonderful friends and boyfriend. The more they ate, the higher Suga’s fingers skidded up Daichi’s thigh. It was fun, watching his boyfriend trying his hardest to suppress his moans, trying his hardest as to not show the couple in front of them how aroused he actually was.

His fingers found their way through the entrance of the kimono and caressed the bare skin slowly, Daichi’s thighs bucking at the touch. He didn’t know if Iwaizumi and Oikawa noticed, he didn’t really care because they had talked and done more embarrassing things together. Daichi tried his hardest as to not let his voice falter when Suga’s thin fingers reached the base of his cock through his underwear, making sure not to leave his balls untouched too. 

He could feel Daichi’s cock throbbing next to his fingers, his member hardening quickly at the faintest touch. He could see him get more excited than he should be because, they were in public and everyone could see them but Daichi was impressively really good at hiding his excitation. 

After some time, Daichi’s nails dug into his skin and he knew that he was at his tipping point, knew he had to stop before it was too late. He removed his hand from Daichi’s kimono and placed it on the table along with his other hand, his boyfriend letting out a quiet whine at the loss.

“What’s up?” Iwaizumi asked. Daichi hadn’t been quiet enough apparently.

“I think I ate too much.” He didn’t know if Iwaizumi would believe his lie, but it was pretty believable to him, at least.

“You, Sawamura Daichi ate too much?” Maybe not as believable as he thought.

“You know, I’m getting old, I won’t be the biggest eater y’all know forever.” He laughed before throwing a quick, menacing glance at Suga. He had seen this look on Daichi multiple time, mostly during practice in their third year when he had to scold the first years. He had never thought he would use that face on him and even if it lasted only a few seconds, it did look a bit terrifying. No wonder it worked so well on the first years.

He shared a knowing look with Oikawa, deeming that now might be the right time for Daichi to get his surprise. His friend seemed to understand and moved to stand up.

“We should go to the shrine!” He said, tugging at Iwaizumi’s arm gently. 

His boyfriend seemed to notice Oikawa’s odd behaviour and threw a quick glance at Suga, just to make sure. “Yeah, sure. You guys done?”

The both of them nodded but, as Suga stood up, Daichi grabbed his arm forcing him to sit back down. “I don’t think I can stand up.” He whispered, leaning close to his ear.

Suga brought his hand to Daichi’s cheek, the other boy leaning into the touch. He looked so needy, almost miserable. He loved seeing him like this, completely at Suga’s mercy. “Want me to take care of it, captain?” 

The only answer he got was a groan and Daichi’s head on his shoulder. He brought his hand that previously was on his cheek to his hair and pet him gently. Daichi’s entire body was literally trembling, other passerby could think it was due to the cold, but Suga knew. He knew why he was trembling, because of him, only him.

He heard his phone buzz on the table and when he turned to face the other couple he noticed that they were already gone. He took his phone in his hand, the one that wasn’t in Daichi’s hair and smiled mischievously at the text he received.

From : Oikawa

Tue 31 Dec 9:27PM

_iwa-chan and i are going to the shrine, we thought we should leave you two alone!!! have fun with dai-chan and don’t worry about it i’m sure it will go well!!!! love you!!!_

“Want to go to my place?” He asked, cradling Daichi’s face in his hands. 

Daichi looked up at him, eyes warm and hazy with want and nodded slowly. “Didn’t you want to go to the shrine with Oikawa and Iwaizumi?” 

“I think you’re gonna pass out from overstimulation if I don’t take care of you in the next ten minutes.” He chuckled before moving to stand up, he looked at Daichi and extended his hand to help him stand up, noticing that the poor boy still had that sad-puppy face on, something he had seen only once before and that was when he had had to be subbed out after getting injured during a game. 

Daichi spent the entire way back _whining_. He never did this. He had never seen him like this, even that one time in Tokyo, he hadn’t even been close to this. He was adorable.

“Can’t we just go to my place? It’s way closer than your place.” 

“So, you’re saying you don’t want my surprise?”

Daichi pouted. Literally _pouted_. It was just cute. “You could jerk me off in front of everyone and I would still be very content.”

Suga smiled, because that’s just what he was about to do. Jerk him off (and more) in front of other people.

“I don’t like that smile. You’re hiding something from me aren’t you?” Daichi could tell that Suga was nervous. Suga averted his gaze and was fidgeting, it’s all he could do. He had to tell him.

“What are your thoughts on uhm… doing a live together?” His voice pitched higher at the end of the sentence and Daichi stopped dead in his tracks, clearly stunned by the question. He could feel his boyfriend judging him. 

“I thought you’d never ask.” Daichi said quietly and now it was Suga’s turn to be stunned. Okay, he definitely wasn’t expecting this answer. 

“Are you… really?” 

Daichi smiled at him, the streetlights highlighting his features and that was the only answer he gave him. He grabbed his hand softly and led them towards Suga’s house eagerly.

They arrived at his place quicker than he expected and the first thing Daichi did when he opened the door was shove Suga against the nearest wall, he didn’t even have time to react before Daichi was smashing their lips together in a heated kiss. 

“You’re so hot.” He breathed against his neck and he just had to laugh because clearly, Daichi hadn’t seen himself. 

“You’re not bad either.” He said (or moaned, he honestly didn’t know anymore).

They went upstairs as quickly as they could and Suga went to his bathroom to fetch his laptop and then crouched down for a condom and lube. “Do you have any preference for lube?”

He turned around and watched as Daichi’s head was peering out from the doorway, cheeks still flushed with warm blood. “T-tingly lube, p-please.” 

“Are you… touching yourself?” He asked, grabbing the tingly lube from the cabinet before closing it with his foot. 

“N-No.” 

“Daichi!”

He let out a loud whine and walked towards Suga, tugging at one of the three belts of his kimono. 

“Please.” Daichi breathed and Suga could feel Daichi’s throbbing erection against his own half-hard cock and he had to stop himself from dropping to his knees and swallowing Daichi’s whole.

“I’m gonna show you how this works, ok?” Daichi nodded reluctantly and the ashen-haired boy led him towards his bed and took the camera and remote that he had been hiding under his bed before plugging it in his Macbook.

“This remote controls the height of the camera so we have to be careful before changing position so that no one sees our face.” 

“Alright I can do that.” He said as he sat down next to his boyfriend on his bed, taking the remote in his hand.

“Also I can’t call you by your name.”

“Uhuh.”

“And you can’t call me by mine.”

“How..?” He dropped the remote on his lap and pouted. A puppy, that’s what Daichi was.

“Don’t know, be creative.” 

“You know I’m anything but creative.” He was having trouble not making fun of his boyfriend. Because it was true, Daichi had always been uncreative. 

“Anyway,” He opened the camboy website and typed in his username and password before continuing, “Nervous?”

“A little, but I’m also really horny and besides, I know you’re gonna take good care of me so it’s fine.”

Suga kissed his cheek and he could feel Daichi’s heart thumping harder and harder at each passing seconds, all of this from the arousal. 

“Ready?” He asked, adjusting the camera a little while looking at the video feed on his laptop screen. 

He squeezed his hand, an affirmation, and then moved to click on the ‘start live’ button. He felt like his own heart was about to explode. He watched as the chat room got flooded with all kinds of message, mostly ‘welcome back’ and ‘we thought you were dead’ and if he had to be honest, he kind of wished he was. 

He hadn’t live-streamed in 5 months and quite a lot had happened in those 5 months. He felt Daichi’s hand go on his thigh, and he remembered that he wasn’t alone anymore. He had Daichi now and everything would be fine. 

“Hi everyone.” He said with a soft smile, toying with the hem of his sleeves, a habit that he had kept. He had missed doing this.

“No I didn’t die,” He laughed before continuing. “stuff happened in my life and I got a job, plus uni has been really tiring so yeah! But I’m back now, for tonight at least.” 

More messages came, some already asking him to undress, some asking him who the person behind him was. 

“I don’t know if you guys remember captainthighs.” His boyfriend grabbed his thigh softly and he turned around to look at him. He looked less uncomfortable than he thought he would which was _definitely_ a good thing.

“Him and I, well, we’ve been dating for four months now…” He smiled at the thought. Four months already. 

“And today is his birthday so I thought we could stream together.” He felt an arm sneak around his waist and before he could say anything else, he felt a pair of lips attach themselves to his neck, sucking on a small patch of skin right below his nape and eliciting a small moan from Suga.

He read a few messages as Daichi kept marking his neck quietly, most of them saying ‘congratulations’ and other sexual things. 

“Not going to introduce yourself, captain?” He felt his boyfriend shiver behind him at the mention of the word ‘captain’. This was going so well. “Guess I’m gonna have to punish you then.” 

“Nooo.” Daichi groaned against his neck before detaching himself from Suga. “I don’t know what to say…”

“How about we ask the chat to ask us some question? That way you’ll get to relax a little uh?” 

“Yeah, ok.” He kissed his neck one more time before moving to sit next to his boyfriend instead of behind him. He dropped his hand to Suga’s thigh and read the chat as he caressed it gently. He never thought there would already be so many people watching them, but he guessed that it was mainly because they were two instead of one and that Suga hadn’t streamed in a long time.

“How was your first time?” Daichi read out loud and he looked at him as if to say a _m I doing well?_ and Suga nodded, because he was doing really well. He could already feel some of the nervousness leaving both of their body and getting replaced by plain want and excitation.

“Well I know I was terrified because I was way less experienced than him.” He chuckled. That was new. Daichi hadn’t told him about that but now he thought, he had been terrified too. Scared of not being enough, scared of ruining everything. 

“But, it went well. Maybe we shouldn’t have had our first time in a _fucking bathtub_ but, we managed not to fall and crack our heads open so I guess that was a good thing.” 

Suga laughed and kissed his cheek lovingly. That was the Daichi he had fallen in love with, funny confident and handsome Daichi.

“Answer this one.” He said, pointing at one of the questions on the screen with a huge smile.

“What do I like about you? That’s easy, I like everything about you.” 

They hadn’t even started to undress that Suga was already _burning._ “You’re so cheesy, choose something specific.” 

“Uhm… let’s talk about the things I _love_ about you…” Suga noted the change of words and he could feel the blood rush to his cheeks. 

“Well first of all you smell amazing, like your hair smells like bubblegum but your body… god your body… it smells like vanilla and honey. You smell so good it makes me want to lick every single inch of your skin.” He said as he brought his hand to caress Suga’s cheek, the ashen-haired boy leaning into the touch. Daichi slid his thumb on his lips and, very slowly, pushed it past them, Suga circling his tongue around it, sucking on the pad of his thumb seductively.

He tore his gaze away from the handsome man for a couple of seconds to take a look at the chat, a string of ‘aw’ and ‘so cute’ following Daichi’s statement.

“There’s also the way you taste.” He leaned in, tilting Suga’s face up as he brought them together for a kiss. He was glad to see he wasn’t the only one who was blazing hot, he could feel it on Daichi’s tongue as it went past his lips. He broke the kiss a few seconds later, panting, and he watched as a small string of saliva landed on his kimono. He was too horny to be grossed out. “It’s like, you always somewhat taste like-“

“Watermelon Hi-Chew.” They said in unison and Suga had to kiss him again, had to run his tongue across Daichi’s lips who were now shiny with the gloss he had been wearing. He tasted like peach.

“And that tuft of hair you’ve got here.” He whispered against his lips, loud enough for the live to hear but not too loud, and brought the hand that was previously on Suga’s cheek to the entrance of his kimono, slowly, oh so slowly, going to where his cock was. He arched his back when he felt Daichi’s finger on his still-clothed erection and swore that he could have come just then.

“Can I?” He asked, bringing his free hand to the two belts that were still around his chest and Suga nodded. It was all he could do. 

He almost forgot they were still streaming when Daichi started opening his kimono delicately, careful as to not let it wrinkle. He honestly didn’t know how Daichi could be so patient with him after he had nearly _begged_ Suga to let him come in public, it was almost as if he wasn’t hard anymore but he definitely was, he could see it, could see the tent in his kimono. He had incredible self-control.

Daichi leaned in to kiss Suga one more time and then slowly went down, leaving a trail of blazing hot kisses down his jaw and towards his neck. He reminded Daichi that the viewers could almost see his entire face and his boyfriend took the remote in hand, lowering the camera a little so he could kiss his boyfriend even lower without being seen.

He was almost entirely naked, his two arms having been removed from the sleeves of his kimono and, even if it was the middle of winter, his room felt like an oven. He looked towards his screen and saw people giving tokens and he remembered. The goals. They should have set goals. He totally forgot about this.

“Cap.” He moaned as Daichi’s lips reached his collarbones and he looked up at him through his dark lashes. “Token goals.”

“Right, sorry I got so into it I forgot we were still streaming.”

“’It’s alright.” He turned to face the screen and looked at the number of tokens that had already been given. 750. That’s what he usually made in fourty minutes, and they had only been doing this for ten. 

“Well, since I’m already half naked, how about when we reach 1000 tokens I’ll take it off completely? And then 1250 for captain huh? That sounds good for you guys?”

He watched the chat go wild once again and the 1000 tokens goal was reached in under 3 minutes. It was impressive really. 

“You guys are almost as eager to see me naked as this guy right here.” He chuckled as he ran a finger along Daichi’s jawline. His boyfriend moved closer to him, removing the rest of his kimono and juban, revealing the burgundy panties that were already stained with precum.

“You’re so- You’re so… _fuck_.” He was at a loss for words but, the way he touched him, the way he looked at him said a lot. He lowered the camera again and flicked at his nipples with his fingers, pinching them in between his thumb and index before bringing his mouth to the left one, carefully nipping at it and he just moaned, or screamed (probably both) when he felt Daichi’s wet member on him, as if he had been waiting for this for ages.

His nipples were erect, waiting for him. 

He was on cloud nine. Daichi knew where Suga felt good, knew that his left nipple was much more sensitive than his right one. He looked down at Daichi and made eye contact with him, they held it for barely even a second but Suga understood. His gaze just screamed _next time i’m gonna tease you until you don’t even remember what your own name is_ , he was out for blood. That’s what it was.

He brought his hand to Daichi’s hair, tugging at the short locks. It was too much for him. He knew he had to wait, he had to, for the viewers, for Daichi, all of this was for him but he couldn’t. He took a quick glance at the screen and let out a shaky, relieved breath when he saw that the 1250 tokens goals had been reached.

“Cap…” He whispered and his boyfriend removed his lip from his nipple, much to his relief. They were both a panting mess and it was just _hot_.

His boyfriend seemed to understand what he meant and started peeling off his clothes, he removed the sleeves of his kimono slowly while holding eye contact, Suga’s heartbeat quickening at the sight. He had seen this multiple times, seen Daichi undress more times than he could count, both at practice and in bed. He’ll never get tired of it. 

His hand dropped to the fabric of Daichi’s kimono, slipped his index finger between the fabric and his boyfriend bare skin and, with a flick of his wrist, removed the last bit of his boyfriend clothes. The last barrier now removed. 

They started kissing again, their face not visible to the camera but they were sure the viewers could hear them, they were both being _so loud_.

Daichi’s lips curved in satisfaction against his own lips and Suga’s eyes widened for an instant. He knew what this meant. He couldn’t help but shiver at the thought. 

“Babe, will go you on all four for me?” He asked, caressing Suga’s side gently and he tensed under his touch. 

“They’re gonna see me.”

“Not if you do this.” He helped Suga get into position, face first into the mattress towards his cushions, ass facing the camera. He slapped his left cheek gently, but still with enough force for it to show on his skin and he couldn’t do anything but whimper. 

He heard his boyfriend uncapping the lube and soon felt his hand on the small of his back, caressing the soft flesh slowly with a single, wet, finger and then pushed aside his panties. He had been waiting for this for what felt like hours. When Daichi’s finger finally breached him, he yelled.

He felt his slit ooze and he was sure that he had stained his bed with precum and, he would usually care about not staining his bed but right now all he could think about was the fact that Daichi’s finger was in him and he was stretching him so _good._ He skimmed his ribs with his palms and was squirming in his hold.

His hips were moving against him, on their own accord, trying to get Daichi’s finger to jab in his prostate and not just brush it. He was a goner.

“He’s so pretty, isn’t he?” Daichi asked to their audience as he kept fingering him. He added a second finger in and brought his other hand to his perineum, caressing the smooth flesh with his knuckle. Of course he would do that. “So pretty, all for me.”

He let out a loud moan, he didn’t know if this was from the words he had just said or from the fact Daichi’s fingers had just hit his prostate (it was both) but what he knew was that he was about to come and he couldn’t let that happen. 

As he was about to say something, he felt Daichi’s finger slip out of his hole, as if he knew what was going to happen. He was pretty sure he knew, because Daichi knew everything about him now.

“Please.” 

“Please what babe? Want to come?” He had that mischievous voice on and he was getting even more turned on, he didn’t even know how that was possible.

He let out a small, shaky ‘yes’ and Daichi quickly helped him sit back down. He watched as his boyfriend sat down against the headboard and tugged at his hand gently, an invitation. That’s what it was. 

He moved to climb on his boyfriend lap, gaze fixated on their touching erection, moving restlessly above him, grinding against his muscles to relieve some of the friction.  Daichi’s hand instantly found his waist and stopped him, clicking his tongue in the process. When he looked up to meet his gaze, all he could notice was his eyes, impossibly dark, pupils blown wide, hazy with desire and a faint touch of anger. “Trying to come on your own? That’s not nice.” 

“Da- Captain.” He almost let his name slip out. Oh god.

“Do you want to come?” He asked seductively as he brought his hand towards his entrance again, teasing the puckered fresh with the same finger he had used earlier. Suga nodded and he couldn’t hold back any longer.

Suga dragged the sheet to bring the condom near and tore the packet open. He lifted up his hips with the help of Daichi, _god he was so in love with him,_ and rolled the condom onto him, a moan escaping both their lips at the sight. 

Suga brought both of his hand down to Daichi’s waist to position himself above his cock, his hand snaked towards Daichi’s burning hot member and slowly sunk himself down, the two of them gasping at the feeling it had just provided. Suga felt so full and Daichi was just so hot underneath him. 

He brought his lips to Daichi’s, gently at first and then started exploring his mouth with his tongue, slicked it over the roof of Daichi’s mouth. 

His hips started moving, slowly at first and then, with the help of his boyfriend, a little more forcefully. He lifted himself a little and then dropped back down, sinking himself all the way down to the hilt. 

He had had his fair share of riding dildos, but the real thing was so much better. He could feel Daichi’s member throbbing inside of him, could feel his boyfriend slick skin from the perspiration, could feel his hot breath against his neck. He was overwhelmed by all kind of sensations, sensations he could have never gotten with a simple dildo.

He brought his hand to Daichi’s shoulder, lifting his hips once again and they shivered when his boyfriend cock almost slipped out of his hole.

Daichi hit his head against the headboard at the stimulation, he wondered if he was hurt but when he met Daichi’s gaze, it was filled with nothing but pure pleasure. 

They hadn’t said anything for quite some time and they didn’t need to. The room was filled with all kind of noises, skin slapping against skin, ragged breathing, moans, they sounded like they came straight out of a porno. 

Suga cried out in pleasure and pushed his hips down harder on Daichi’s cock. He needed more, he needed it harder, even deeper and Daichi understood, he moved his hips to meet Suga’s own, and everything changed. Daichi’s cock was slamming into his prostate with each movement, eliciting loud moan from Suga and he was sure he was leaving claw marks on his boyfriend back and that he was bleeding by now.

“Shit- Fuck- God I’m so close.” Suga’s voice cracked and he felt one of Daichi’s hand leave his waist to position itself on his cock and his whole body seized up at the new stimulation. It was too much.

He bit into Daichi’s neck to stifle his moan, he knew he didn’t have to but he didn’t want his boyfriend to go deaf as he came all over his boyfriend chest and fist.

His grip on Daichi’s back was losing strength as he rode the last bit of his orgasm, Daichi’s hips still meeting him with slow but deep thrust. 

“Come for me, captain.” He whispered into Daichi’s ear and that was his tipping point. Daichi’s nail dug into the soft flesh of his ass as he came inside him, he could feel his cock twitching with the last remnant of his orgasm inside himself and all he could do was let out a small contented sigh.

He was spent. They both were. But they had to move and turn off the live. It was just as if Daichi had read his mind because that’s when he slipped out of him, a small gasp escaping them both at the loss. 

Suga turned back around to face the camera as best as he could, looking at his boyfriend one more time through heavy-lids and smiled. “Happy birthday cap.” 

Daichi squeezed his hand and they stopped the live, no more words spoken. They didn’t need to. Instead, his boyfriend moved to stand up, much to Suga’s dismay, and removed the condom before throwing it in the bathroom trashcan. He heard water being turned on and off and watched as Daichi came back with a wet cloth to wipe both his and Suga’s stomachs. When he was done pampering him, he put the cloth on his bedside table, deeming that he could put it back where he found it later and slipped under the cover next to Suga. 

They didn’t say anything for a while but the way Daichi was holding him, so close against his chest said a lot. He was thankful. Suga was too.

They heard fireworks going off in the distance and his boyfriend held him even closer, breathing him in. “Thank you for tonight.”

He didn’t know if the _thump thump_ were coming from their chests or the fireworks. He smiled into Daichi’s neck, hugged him a bit more tightly. _I should be the one to thank you, idiot_ , he could have said, because it was true. He was thankful. So thankful Daichi loved him, reciprocated his feelings, was close to him. 

“I love you.” He said instead and he heard a faint, tired _I love you too_ slipping past Daichi’s lips.

Thankful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! This was my first multi-chaptered fic (hopefully not the last) and i'm really happy with it! Thank you to Ken again for proofreading every chapter of this fic, I couldn't have done it without you. And thank you everyone for leaving kudos and comments !!! Your support has helped me a lot <3
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/sugawraa) !  
> 


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